My venting machine

the hopeless romantic in me, speaks.

2008-05-18T13:12:00.003+08:00

hey. its been a while huh?

all my memories are still here. burried in archives. you know, i always love it here. i could write the longest entries that dont seem to end and everbobody didnt use to mind it. i was carefree, i was vociferous, i was innocent, i was me. and now, at 18, im a liar, a procrastinator, a wanderer. im not entirely sure if i am the slightest bit wiser from the 2 years that had passed since i last wrote an entry for this blog. all that i have now are the mistakes, the regrets and somewhere along the way, the lessons i had learnt. maybe thats all i meant to have anyway.

well, i have always been a dreamer. i dreamt about being in love, having someone to brush their fingers through my hair, having someone's name to scribble on my hands, on pages of textbooks, on every available surface, having a reason to call someone at night just to ask how their day had been, having the perfect first date eating ice cream at swensons, to stroll with at the beach, to rub noses with or cuddle or tickle or swim with, reading on the bench at the park with my head on his lap (yes, very notting hill, i know) to try out salsa classes with, to ride on horseback with, having someone there with a wet towel when im down with a fever, someone to travel with, try escargots and rattattoui with.

yes, i am a romantic, a hopeless romantic. im not looking for a boyfriend, im looking for someone a little more... permanent.

the end

2006-12-09T20:43:00.000+08:00

to commemorate the 101st entry, im here to tell you that i am moving my nonsensical sdfnefnskdnmfv(mutterings) elsewhere. so zis blog iz non-ezistentz nowz. we're playing hide and seek. see if you can find me. see ya!

2006-12-06T01:25:00.000+08:00

i miss them all :(

im so like over that now.

2006-12-05T23:54:00.000+08:00

date: 5th December 2006
what i did today;
movie: Saw I & Saw II, back to back
book: If you could see me now by cecelia ahern

wasnt actually expecting much to happen today. thought i would just enjoy the company of a book and a cuppa coffee. well, that sure didnt happen! im pissed because i was rudely woken up in the effing morning by effing roof drilling right above my effing head. it so doesnt pay to live on the last floor, albeit the gorgeous scenery from up here. but seriously. its so inconsiderate of the contractors. at least warn us or put up notices in the lift or something! and put the effing 'no peeing' sign somewhere else. jeez. like who pisses in the lift anymore? worst come to the worst, get CCTV cameras and and threaten to put the offending videos on youtube or something.

lesson of the day: must go out tomorrow to avoid stupid drilling noises.

if you must know how saw I & II was, lets just say it was not all i've expected. to illustrate my point;

my first impression of the movies: horror flick which would make me stay up all night replaying the gory scenes inside my head.

the impression i got after watching the movies: greatest thriller/horror movies ever. it challenges you physically and mentally. physically because i keep having to grip the pillow ever so tightly till my knuckles were literally white. mentally because i keep having to figure out Jigsaw's/John's/killer's motive for putting the victims in the game.
needless to say, i cant wait for saw III to come out. to hell with the m-18 rating, theres so many ways of getting one's hands on movies. well, in my case, it requires adam to go to johor first. lol.

im going to miss that horrid old bugger. he prank called me on monday night. i so didnt fall for it of course. totally humoured him throughtout the conversation. honey, who the heck does surveys at 11pm? and know your body shop products before advertising them. and lastly, there is no effing way you can bullshit to a bullshitter.

i need an imaginary friend. ouhkay. maybe not. ive got too many now anyway. phew. i wonder how i manage. lol.

i've lost my abah's 'quran' cd. shit. ive been searching everywhere for it. i hope i didnt send it by accident to the rental shop. must check again.

i should move on. yeah alright. im moving on. if only it was that simple. but its something that i should do. preach what i practice and keep my chin up.

i want to learn how to crump! somebody, anybody! teach me!

the long-awaited photos

2006-12-04T01:15:00.000+08:00

in no chronological sequence whatsoever, i present to you my graduation night/day 2006, an event worth remembering for the rest of my life. enjoy =)

thats me of course. i look like i cant stand straight. lol. i kind of prefer my studio shots. too bad i could only take 2 home in a cd with me. i'll post the studio picture up one day.

dont you just love this picture. by the way the 'grafitti' in the background reads "not yours to rule ours!".. whatever that means. the actual graffiti background we wanted to pose with was "my body is a machine". the place was too far, we didnt have much time to get to school and it was going to pour. well, it actually did when we were taking another shot. didnt want to put it up because it looked like i was scandaling with nuriman. yikes.

now this is more like it. from the left to the right we have: nani, the hot mama in a bareback dress, zia looking nice in that suit which i borrowed for my catwalk, nurul hannahnahnah in the sweet baju kebaya, hakim in the hot (literally) suit, shamsydar ani in a cutesy pose, andydandy looking very manly despite the weave, izzati giving hannah a run for her money being the sweetest one in the picture (lol), nuriman looking like he's going to a country club in that blazer and the last one's me. adam is not in th picture because he's the cameraman! who of course, takes the greatest pictures. thanks to adam, we all look fab!

hubba hubba! hot mamas in the house! in this case a muddy field. lol. dont get me started on all the wide-eyed passerbys we startled. i wonder. who's idea was it to pose at the muddy field. guilty one, own up!!

that ridiculous person in the mechanic mask and frying pan would be ryan and the one next to him would be zhi hou. i dont even know why he was there but hey, i dont care. the more temasekians, the better!

the usual suspects. my gurls. im glad we solve the matter. and thanks hannah for the sms. i still keep it and i hold you to that wedding speech of yours.

see the lovely ladies up front wearing green? that aisyah manab, me, hannah, nani, nuri and izzati. hakim's at the back promoting the free gift memo book in a miniscule bag and andy's beside aisyah looking blankly at the camera. ape nih.

and so my darlings. that concludes the photo montage for the evening. a goodbye kiss from andy and me. MUACKS! =)

that guy at katrina

2006-12-03T00:46:00.000+08:00

i should take hannah's advice and stop emo-ing. well you cant blame me. i was bored out of my brains and practically rotting at home. yes, i know. i lead such a dreary life. but not today i dont. because today i was a natural housewife. i did all the house chores, played sims2 and still go out shopping with my mum, whichcomes to the topic at hand. that guy at katrina.

totally reminds me of diego luna from dirty dancing:havana nights. and his hairstyle. like gus carr from bring it on:all or nothing. he's so geeky cute and im falling!! eh hem. i shall stop drooling now or i'd put a baby to shame. but seriously, he's geeky cute and if he's singaporean, he'd be mod. mods are hot but totaly untouchable of course. because when you date a mod, he overshadows you cuz he'll hog the limelight 24/7. and where does that put you? sitting at the edge of the group sipping coffee in a kopitiam in the middle of nowhere. i rest my case. mods are a no-no. which leaves katrina-guy totally right for me. sigh. if only he wasnt so old. and has a stud. but he totally smiled at me. *swoons*

grad night was boring. or have i said that already?well, it wasnt totally boring boring but dull. except the end when everybody became cam-whores. i should put up pictures. i would have if adam hadnt taken so long to convert the damn files and put them in my thumb drive like ive asked him to a week ago! sheesh! so guess what? i've forced him to meet me at his busstop at 10am today. i want them pictures!

ps: abg opit finally found friendster and guess who made friends with me after he did? kak maz! so unexpected. and she became one helluva hot mama. who said wild single life ended when you get married? =S

2006-11-25T22:09:00.000+08:00

its the 25th of november so that means a week have already gone by since the last olevel paper. and i still have not found a job. so far i've only applied for golden village and IKEA and so far not even a single reply from either. are there too many people finding jobs out there or is it just me?

and i still have no idea what to write for my resume/portfolio. i've not organize any major event however i have participated in some but how can i use that to my advantage? and im such a mediocre canoeist. no seriously. i have achieved so little in my 4 yrs in temasek. no leadership position in anything although i really wanted to be a psl throughout the whole 4 yrs but nobody gave me a chance. but, instead of feeling bitter about it i'd just look on the bright side of things and am relief to say that i didnt have to work under sham in organizing major events. lol. im kidding. but she can be a very garang person if she wants to. not that i cant be one myself.

these few days have been a big blurry journey but i have enjoyed myself so much that once i stop and try to relax, i find that my whole body was aching. heck, i even slept on the shuttle bus back to tamps from IKEA. im just sitting crossed leg on my bed right now flipping throught my testimonial and achievement list. absolutely nothing to brag about except that i've completed 120 hours of cip, a2 for cca and gold for napfa. big freaking deal. its all so boring, boring, BORING.

talk about being the jack of all trades but master of none.

HOWEVER; i'll try to stop being such a mood killer because..

the photos from the studio came out absolutely fucking fantastic! ive already printed out my 2 pictures in 4R from the sony express machine and me, nani and adam look so sophisticated and well, HOT. i cant wait to show it off. lol. well, ive got to go now. tomorrow would be miss yati's wedding lunch and i would be at johor for the canoeing resort trip till wednesday; and i would be volunteering for child aid on wednesday and thursday night . im so excited!!!!! :)

the shifting in socialite status.

2006-11-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

nobody knows for sure who the ultimate socialite in the group is since N seemed to lost his touch. but this week, its my week. alright maybe im not the ultimate one but one can dream cant she?

thats the second party in my house since last week. dang. the other time was pizza and 'mean girls' with nani, izzati, sham, adam, andy, zia and nuriman. this time round its fish&burntchips and 'remp-it' with izzati, sham, zia and adam. and that gorgeous camera. i cant wait for tomorrow. to hougang in heels! to arab street for a photoshoot! and to temasek secondary school in a mercedes! then to the esplanade for another session! im living a model's life.

with a smudge of scarlet and black mascara, remember?

dont you just love the sound of music

2006-11-22T00:58:00.000+08:00

i think songwriters are brilliant summarizers. imagine. describing a whole emotion, a raw thought into 5 stanzas. just package it up and call it a song.

if only it were that easy. but theres always a problem. its either finding the right tune, finding the write lyrics, finding the right instrument. because seriously meshing it all up haphazardly would end making a person or breaking a person. franz ferdinand got lucky. nonsensical lyrics but great music. heck. a whole genre is introduced for that kind of music. does the word techno sound familiar?

most people just flow along listening to mainstream. i used to be one of those people. but sticking to mainstream is not nearly enough. people should broaden their horizons a little because seriously, there are so many undiscovered bands out there who plays great music. im dead serious. im the sort of person who listens to everything and frankly, im bored of mainstream. pop/hiphop. if thats all that they're playing on air, i'd rather boycott the whole thing. heck, i already am. im not saying i cant stand pop or hiphop. heck justin timberlake does such sexy music, and p.diddy has a pretty established discography. but come on. stop depriving yourself!

just yesterday im introduced to a cello band playing metal music (apocalyptica). anything's achievable these days. take bands like basement jaxx, the dandy warhols, junior senior, jamiroquai, phats and small for example. i simply love their music. then there's ska. dont get me started! streetlight manifesto, mxpx, catch 22, reel big fish, save ferris, less than jake, letters to cleo, mad caddies, the aquabats etc. for electronic music try listening to daft punk. you see, there's so bands out there just waiting for people to listen to their music. waiting and sometimes failing. because not many are willing to them and thats so sad.

what happen to jimmy eat world huh? my point exactly.

the polyphonic spree mixes gospel music with non-religious lyrics and its such a pity they only have two freaking albums because no one even knows them if they weren't in 'scrubs' soundtrack. i love soundtracks. so far i've only browse through scrubs', grey's anatomy's and the oc's soundtracks. thats where i fell in love with the polyphonic spree, aqualung, jem, the emotion project, the dandy warhols and maybe even death cab for cutie.

to anyone who read this entry. just trust me and listen to these bands'artists.

suburban legends, Ok Go, sugarcult, the rocket summer, the cardigans, the ataris, the veronicas, save ferris, the polyphonic spree, basement jaxx, john legend, jamiroquai, . or go for the classic rock bands. they're classics but they still rock. queen, nirvana, metallica, blondie, the flaming lips, the clash etc.

but me being feministic me i'd just add in a few of my gurlfriends. XD

kt tunstall, joss stone, sarah mclachlan, chantal kreviazuk, dido, diana krall, reba, the donnas, alanis morissette, natalie imbruglia, jem, holly brook, joan jett, sheryl crow. and im sure we all love norah jones but just dont want to admit it.

i could go on, but i dont want to drag anyones day. so you have a nice day aite. and keep discovering. and also, dont forget to support local music. though i dont have any favourites or have any featured above doesnt mean i dont listen to them. go to myspace.com. the likes of electrico or maybe even the great spy experiment's music can be found there.

the post-olevel celebrations

2006-11-20T20:33:00.000+08:00

holla y'all. its been awhile since ive been here eh. that dont matter much considering aint many actually read and understand what im saying right?

and so, olevels are over and done with. finally. the taste of freedom. utter bliss. finally the luxury to do anything and everything. going out everyday. no curfews. no complains. no nagging. no hollering. just ultimately low on moolah. thats why i need a job. fast.

but instead of boring the shit out of y'all, i'd just tell you what ive been up to these past couple of weeks, if it makes any difference. nothing much happened during the olevels, except that the papers were crappy and that major bit where i found out something about myself which im not suppose to know. however, i'd rather know it now than the ripe old age of 21. yeah, no shit. my parents are not so keen on telling. they're even not keen that i found it from choo. heck, you better watch your back boy. them parents aint people you wanna mess around with. aha. im just playing with choo. they aint got nothing on you so dont worry.

anyway, moving on. so friday was the last paper right? history. dang. that was some tough shit because nothing i mugged for came out. however, it was ouhkay. i managed to complete the paper i think. fadz, who sits next to me, finish 15 minutes early. i was like dang... what the heck did choo write and he was like mostly rubbish. apparently he didnt study the topics that came out. but i kinda doubt that. when i flipped the paper to the back before we were told to sit, my heart sank. it literally drowned in misery. me and dans shook our heads and shared a 'dats it, im dead' moment and wrote crap. so we shall leave it up to fate. not that we have a choice.

my best gurlfriend and her guy almost broke up. well, not the affair i want to get my nails into unlike some. forgive but never forget. thats all im saying. its not my fault im a cynic when it comes to all things lovey dovey. and i cant help being skeptical. so sue me. love, right now, are for suckers. and thats that.

we had an intervention on friday ouh yes and a birthday party at my crib. great homies. checked. great food. checked. great movie. checked. and great family. checked.

ouh btw; we're the luckiest people on earth to find bridal coutoure at arab street. because of them, im gona wear a glamorous dress this thursday during our 8 course dinner. think green.

looks are just deceiving arent they?

2006-10-03T22:36:00.000+08:00

i aint giving up just yet. no damn way im giving up. you bet im gonna do myself justice for olevels. and im going to pray with all my heart. just you wait and just you see. so from here and now. im on ...hiatus.

my expose!

2006-10-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

like every other day during the week, i woke up to a cool, balmy sunday morning for sahur (meal to get through a day of fasting). however, i just couldn't get back to sleep after morning prayers. and so i wash the dishes. stared at my mum while she 'exercised' and sat on the swing and swing about for a while before wandering into one of the rooms to stare out the window. and guess what i saw.

dear readers, if you dont already know, the tampines swimming complex actually opens at 6 am in the morning. however, this special time is only reserved for people suffering from inferiority complex because at 6am in the morning, i witnessed a person wearing a bright orange lifejacket doing laps in the olympic pool, alone. and i kid you not. see that orange blob right in the middle of the picture? yup, that was the poor guy in the lifejacket. well, it doesnt have to be a guy of course. just a sad case really. i pity that person, whoever you may be. and excuse the picture quality. apparently 2 megapixles does not quite cut it for long distance photography.

alright now my mood to blog is officially turned off. i hate that other women who shares the same house with me. i trully despise her. i really do. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

careless.

2006-09-30T21:49:00.000+08:00

i need to get on with my life alright. its about time that i do. and you're right of course. i just wanted, no, needed to pick a fight with you because i was bored out of my brains. books can no longer sustain my interest. too many restrictions testing my patience and its only a week into the holy month. am i being blasphemous or a victim of circumstance? neither i hope. im still enduring and i am stronger than this. just wait and see.

after 4 days lying around doing practically nothing but bits and pieces here and there. that's not bloody progress. and honey, think, calculate. it's 24 more days to the o's. subjects that im weak at are amaths, physics and history. history, i just need to work on content. physics, understand the concept and amaths, practise. hah. talking about it is way easier than putting it down on bloody pen and paper. and procrastination is still the theif of time.

snap out of it.

not all hope is lost..

2006-09-27T14:53:00.000+08:00

i might have a good chance in reaching my targetted goals for prelims. just maybe. well, alright. i bloody hope it will! now i'm going to stop talking about this because like a certain somebody said, its no use beating yourself up before even getting the results. i'd only feel more demoralized then. alright, point taken.
(wahhey! why am i even listening to you? shoo fly.)

(This is where it gets a little RANDOM)

i was eating supper yesterday night. spaghetti, my favourite! was already halfway through my meal when i notice something. there was an ant in my cup of water! (waiter, did you hear that?) it was such a disheartening sight! the poor ant was holding on to dear life as i tried to 'rescue' it with my nail. alas! i finally did manage to scoop it out of harm's way and onto the table. you should have seen it. it didnt skip a beat. roll about for a moment and just like that, it started scampering about, out of sight. now, is that ant strong or what? and that unwavering resilience to live! wow! no, ladies and gentlemen, i kid you not. ants are creatures we should observe and learn from, not look down upon as pests when they run along our walls in a line, searching for food.

thus, i request that on this holy month of Ramadhan, thou shalt spare the ants of unsightly death! thou shalt gently nudge them aside with thy fingers or blow them away. now, is that clear? the response i should be getting should be 'Crystal clear!'

the end.

lols.. im kidding. no, not about the ant part, that i couldn't be more sure of in my entire life. i am kidding about ending the entry. there still so much to talk about. not to worry. no more side stories, just about my life and fulfilling the purpose of this blog. me and pots had a tiff last night. he was pmsing, like i was two days ago. well, we have our moments dont we? but i think we're ouhkay now.. well at least i am. thats alright pots, i forgive you =D

my mother and i went shopping for shoes and groceries. now the fridge's all stock up.. all we need now is the time to eat all those food. dang.. i should be ashamed of myself. isnt the aim of the Holy month is to feel what the poor are feeling when we fast? but those chips were purple!! we need purple chips! and cheese and snow flakes and milk and juice and a toothbrush!

ouh alryte then. i'll stop thinking about food. it wouldnt kill me to stop and think about something else. however, i do think that my brain is degenerating. holy cow.. i wouldnt want to see the prospect of it if it is.. i'd be diagnosed with dyslexia and cant go to school anymore! well, hey.. not a ba...... Im not Implying Anything!!

Sarah, fight global warming and stop contributing more carbon dioxide to the air. SHUT UP.

not all hope is lost..

2006-09-27T12:51:00.000+08:00

(wahhey! why am i even listening to you? shoo fly.)

(This is where it gets a little RANDOM)

i was eating supper yesterday night. spaghetti, my favourite! was already halfway through my meal when i notice something. there was an ant in my cup of water! (waiter, did you hear that?) it was such a disheartening sight! the poor ant was holding on to dear life as i tried to 'rescue' it with my nail. alas! i finally did manage to scoop it out of harm's way and onto the table. you should have seen it. it didnt skip a beat. roll about for a moment and just like that, it started scampering about, out of sight. now, is that ant strong or what? and that unwavering resilience to live! wow! no, ladies and gentlemen, i kid you not. ants are creatures we should observe and learn from, not look down upon as pests when they run along our walls in a line, searching for food.

thus, i request that on this holy month of Ramadhan, thou shalt spare the ants of unsightly death! thou shalt gently nudge them aside with thy fingers or blow them away. now, is that clear? the response i should be getting should be 'Crystal clear!'

the end.

lols.. im kidding. no, not about the ant part, that i couldn't be more sure of in my entire life. i am kidding about ending the entry. there still so much to talk about. not to worry. no more side stories, just about my life and fulfilling the purpose of this blog. me and pots had a tiff last night. he was pmsing, like i was two days ago. well, we have our moments dont we? but i think we're ouhkay now.. well at least i am. thats alright pots, i forgive you =D

my mother and i went shopping for shoes and groceries. now the fridge's all stock up.. all we need now is the time to eat all those food. dang.. i should be ashamed of myself. isnt the aim of the Holy month is to feel what the poor are feeling when we fast? but those chips were purple!! we need purple chips! and cheese and snow flakes and milk and juice and a toothbrush!

ouh alryte then. i'll stop thinking about food. it wouldnt kill me to stop and think about something else. however, i do think that my brain is degenerating. holy cow.. i wouldnt want to see the prospect of it if it is.. i'd be diagnosed with dyslexia and cant go to school anymore! well, hey.. not a ba...... Im not Implying Anything!!

Sarah, fight global warming and stop contributing more carbon dioxide to the air. SHUT UP.

as i was thinking..

2006-09-26T19:52:00.000+08:00

like i was saying. as i was thinking about what to write when i was breaking fast a little while back..

i was going for a pity-me-mood because it seems that everybody was out the whole afternoon BUT yours truly and i was feeling depressed. who wouldnt be? it's the last day of the preliminary examinations and where was i? at home, sleeping. well, that wasnt before my mother finally dragged me to go shopping for shoes and groceries. but give me a break! thats eons away from my idea of a celebratory outing. even if i dont deserve it. needless to say, amaths was a hopeless case and the sextalk bored me to sleep.

but maghrib came and... dang!! i drove him off.. well ladies and gentlemen, thats what you get for being a naggy old fart like me! way to go sarah! just congratulate yourself on such an achievement..

crash and burn

2006-09-23T15:08:00.000+08:00

can one self critisize? i realise something. i'd be seriously demoralized if i get horrible results. i dont think i can pull myself together. what low self esteem i seem to have. got to break from mid-class mentality! even if i have to be realistic. to hell with that. the sky's the limit right?

the anticlimatic one-liner

2006-09-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

im not fickle minded, but i dont want to wait but you know that we have to.

My MacDreamy.. lols!

2006-09-17T20:06:00.000+08:00

to whoever that brought it up, thank you. i 've been meaning to put this up for ages, but everytime i blogged, it tends to slip my mind. it wasnt exactly at the top of my priority list at those moments.

My Ideal Guy must:

... A great sense of humour
... not take offence when i make a sarcastic remark which could be very unpredictable
... at least appreciate or come into terms with the kind of music im interested in
... not mind me talking non-stop, instead, talk with me for that long =)
... know my favourite chocolate. hint: it has hazelnut in it
... take me as i am, and not compare me to anyone
... know when to have fun by being just himself =)
... not have an extremist point of view but is honest at the same time
... know what he wants, where and when he wants it.

well, thats a realistic and summarized version of what i want in a guy. nobody's perfect right? if someone is willing to except me, i must also willing to except them. however sometimes, some things will not work out and we have to go on our seperate ways, just remember that maybe you're the lucky one who do not have to put up with my childish antics anymore =9

this Other list below is what i call my ideal guy's characteristics. there's actually suppose to be another sub-category called the 'Untouchables' but i dont feel that it's very important

Ideal Guy Characteristics:

Tall, dark, cute (not handsome), and wears specs (optional but preferable)
Knows how to play an instrument and/or sing a tune
Must not smoke because i cant stand the smell or the obscenely bad breath
Have the same learning capability as me
Must play at least some kind of sport. and no, im sorry but chess does not qualify
Must be an avid reader
Enjoys soccer etc but still finds time for lil ole me
Knows his limits and knows his Responsibility
...and MOST importantly, goes by the principle 'work hard, play Harder!'. lol.

I want someone for just leads his life everyday to its fullest but stay rooted to his beginnings, have principles and help me be a better person. if there is someone like that out there for me, that is another thing on my list to be thankful for =)

jamming and boys of fall..

2006-09-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

for the sake of keeping track of my life, im here, yet again to blabber about anything and everything, irrevant and relevant details of whats being going on in my life..

today was a sleepy day, but i had resisted temptation. yes ladies and gentlemen, i did not take a nap 4 hours after waking up like i always do every saturday. what an achivement! somebody, congratulate me! hehe.. anyway, today, woke up, ate brunch, slack around for a bit chatting and then........... i remembered. i was suppose to meet alia and study at sham's house which i conviniently have forgotten. but thank god alia didnt blow at me and sham, well, sham was on the bus returning home after jamming with her new band at orchard.

get this hilarious fact. she was supoose to be a vocalist, but she didnt know half the songs that they were playing. poor thing spent half the time slackjawed, going almost deaf, trying to sing the songs. anyway, we went to her house and i studied physics. well, i tried. but it was so hard to do so. my eyes were half close and i was yawning invontarily every few minutes.

but! that was ouhk because after that, me and sham went to that jamming place under block 144 because she was suppose to tutor sofrie, her umm.. nephew. his prelims is on monday. the music coming from the studio was deafening, but lucky that band's session came to an end and i got to study biology, prelims on monday, in peace. it was a little awkward because i have not meet him before this. but at least there were things to do, not like some awkward meeting. the jamming auntie was such a dear! she offered us sweets and switched on the lights, in vain but its the thought that counts, so that we could study when the sky darkened. it didnt rain thankfully, or i could not have gotten home.

and then asfar and his band members came. i was stunned. he has not changed a bit after primary school. alright, maybe a little taller but ouh so much cuter! same face, same hair, same specs. so worth falling for. tetapi, kisah dulu tidak perlu diungkit kembali kerana aku tidak akan menemuinya lagi dan mengidamkan cinta daripada seseorang yang tidak mungkin mencintai diriku kembali, is not exactly what i need right now? look how 'well' me and shaik turned out. im sorry, but its true. i shouldnt have. olevels are too near to even think about such things anyway right? right?

hope dangles on a string.

sometimes..

2006-09-12T21:01:00.000+08:00

thats me alright

sometimes is doesnt matter if you pour your heart out or when you tried so hard, it changes little of what you're trying to achieve.

so i decided to put it on pen and paper. filter paper rocks.

author's note

2006-09-03T20:44:00.000+08:00

after months of not blogging (liar, its onli been a month), i would like to start of with how irritated i am with the endless amounts of pillows on my bed (liar, there is only 4)..

there i was harmlessly perched on the corner of my bed when 'SQUISH!', all of them came tumbling at me from all sides, shoving me from the left, almost pushing from my cross-legged position. just because i was wiggling for some space to sit on. i was ambushed by the things i regarded as my comrades whom i cradled with every single night. needless to say, i was disdainful, i felt betrayed and affronted! i am exaggerating..

i miss blogging about my irrelevance. it sometimes amazes me on how much nonsense i could spout in a matter of minutes. and the vocabulary! bravo sarah! mr tan would be so proud of self-centered old me who praises nobody but herslef. what a hypocrite! but what confidence! i can never be outspoken anywhere else but here. i can be anybody whom i wished to be. reality and me just doesnt seem to understand each other sometimes but who cares, i have Blogger! so up yours real world!

and who cares if nobody comes. there's nothing to see. to delusional homosapiens, and there's a lot out there, by the thousands even millions whom are like me, who rants about everything and anything via Blogger, livejournal, xanga, pitas etc., we just need something to vent our frustration into or upon, depends on how you view it.

however, im not giving a detailed explanation on why people blogged. i was just briefly (liar, it was >10 lines long) telling everybody, who does not come here in the first place, on why i finally come here, why i finally decided it was time to do the deed (not that deed!) after a long sabbatical. besides, maybe after this, i might not be blogging anymore, for a whole year perhaps, then nobody would know snipets of my life. not that im a news channel or anything. i just.. digress a lot.

and so, lets see what i've been up to during the past month. i was about to start talking about people around me but then i realise how cold i would be, not that i already wasnt, hah.. but somewhat evil-ish if i were to start. besides, this isnt CNN or BBC or any other alternative news channel. how i love to digress further.

during the past month,

i have acted in the teacher's day concert,
had a boyfriend and have also broken up in a short span of 3 weeks,
become best friends with alia, yet again, but this time, i did not neglect hannah because the last time i did, she was upset with me and was tight-lipped and gave me a very cold shoulder,
learn to manipulate my mother into buying more unecessary things to satisfy materialistic old me,
been nice to soh wei jie,
try to fit in with my class (4V),
start listening to black metal,
have a little pedophilic crush on a secondary 3 guy and gotten over it thankfully,
went for a hair treatment which burnt a hole in my months allowance,
read a really wonderful book titled 'prep' by curtis sittenfeld,
perpetually slammed my ipod on the floor till it became spoilt after being frustrated with it,
buy butterfly earrings which hurt when i sleep,
decided that 'bohemian rhapsody' by Queen was the best song ever made besides of course that song by nirvana and 'cobrastyle' by the teddybears and 'should i stay or should i go' by the clash

well, thats it then for nows. ouh yes, by the way, prelims have already started. i was so nervous for biology practical that i actually wet my pants. what a fool i was.

toodles then!

2006-08-10T14:35:00.000+08:00

reality sucks.
moving on.

i give up.. say what you want to say. i dont need to add more stress into my life right now. rant all you want, but know this;

my relationship with him is not the reason why we are so far apart. its just keadaan. im busy trying to catch up in my studies and yeah, alright, getting into a relationship might not be helping me. (bitter laughter) it sure does look that im giving EXCUSES right? well, im not. night study, extra lessons, remedials BLAH BLAH BLAH sure does take up a lot of my time you know. dont say it doesnt take up yours.

but then again, why am i explaining myself to you knowing that you'd be too keras kepale to understand my situation. thats cause i want to, cause ur my best friend, or at least you used to be, cause i REALLY want you to understand. it breaks my heart, no, wrong phrase, it makes me fucking mad at you when you blew me off at MSN.

then it occur to me that this was partially my fault. if i have the guts to say Sorry to you, would you say sorry too? the sad thing is, i dont know the answer to that question anymore. so Houston, we have a problem!

but since im pretty mad at you right now, so i shall rant. his best friend might have doing pretty awful things once upon a time, yeah, i get that, and he may still be doing you wrong by not explaining to you what really happened during the 'case of the missing faiz handphone incident' or apologizing for not smacking rahmat right across his face which frankly what he actually deserves but gurl, its in the past. get over it. ever since i hang out with him, he sure seems like a decent guy to me. maybe thats because im not allowing past mistakes clouding my memory. what happen to second chances gurl? i didnt allow myself to be bias against him for what he did to you and yeah, it sure help things a lot.

think about it gurl.. think real deep about what i just said.. maybe it'll help you understand my situation. if it doesnt, then you're really are selfish and a hypocrite..

cheers to the bitch i really am..

2006-07-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

i'll never change for anyone.. and i wont want anyone to change for me.. i wouldnt want to cheat my own feelings.. i wont force myself to feel something for somebody whom i dont have any feelings for.. and i dont need to expose the reason behind my actions.. you either deserve it, or you dont.. and then maybe im not sorry.. thats just me.. i stick to the principles i believe in.. call me boring or my life monotonous.. i dont see the point of rushing into things.. theres got to be more to life than that.. i choose to live in the moment sometimes too.. i just feel that stricking the balance makes the most sense..

2 more months and im done.

i love saturdays, dont you?

2006-07-15T22:30:00.000+08:00

its a rheotorical question, of course. however, never thought it would ever be possible for me to laugh so hard, eat practically nothing, lie like a sinner and still went to heaven and back.

naturally, my vision's all weird now because my eyes' all bleary, my brain's practically shutting down and my body is stiff. guess where i've been today?

firstly, my room where i did my history homework. never get to finish it though because this lazy old bum here woke up late (the only day i have the luxury to do so)and time practically flew off the wall it was hanging on. went to the PMT session with Her. secretly, i wanted to know what She was gonna bitch about me to miz yati but i told Her that i wanted to get a book from the locker to study during the weekend. but in the end, i had to stick to my end of the bargain for not talking and just keeping quiet. well fine. i'd rather do that then to cry and acting all emotional. well, screw that. its over and i'd rather not talk about it anymore. we've supposedly come to a truce kinda thing so yea..

anyway, after that, a rather stoned silence all the way to tm where i met shake to watch pirates of the carribean.. well, dat was before we found out that the queue at gv freaking long, because Someone didnt queue beforehand like he was suppose to.. so we went to century.. and low and behold.. he got us the........ very first row.. thanx babes.. no REALLY.. i owe all the pain in my neck to you.. n yeah, I hate you too.. XD

of course not..

well, went to ikea after that.. the trip there was EMOTIONAL.. waterworks, nigaria falls, fountains in sentose, whichever way you call it. result of it -> me reconciling with Her. well, fine, wadevar. i dont bear any grudges so between you and me, its safe to say that we are ouhk.. well, $200 worth of it anyway to make it ouhk.

there you are folks, here's to sarah for being the bitch she actually is..

dont get involve with me when im in one of my moods. seriously.

however, getting sidetrack does not make my obligation of posting an entry any less tiring, so back to my day..

well, Ikea is and will always be, my Heaven on Earth. i cannot elaborate or say any further because i myself do not know the reason why it is what it is. its just the endless rows of furniture, the fragrance of wood in the stale aircon air or an assortment if you in the candles section, the cacophony of sounds of people, mostly families miling about browsing, some came prepared with measuring tapes even if it is provided, the harleqiun rugs, mats, sheets, comforters, the shiny pots and pans, the way everything just glow under faint yet visible lighting. it was love at second sight. my second visit to Ikea. i am overjoyed that somebody decided to built one in shabby old tamps soon. no, not overjoyed. relief. oil costs a lot these days. bloody arabs. no wait, bloody americans!

ending this blog entry with a motivational, or cynical poem and lyric of the day:

If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives, jobs. And maybe your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery, isolation.

Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance. Of how much you really want to do it. And you'll do it, despite rejection in the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine.

If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods. And the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is."

-Charles Bukowski

Lyric:
Things aren't as pretty, on the inside - only by nine inch nails

im dying..

2006-07-10T19:47:00.000+08:00

naw.. im just pulling your leg.. hahahax.. yes, i find pleasure in upseting people sometimes.

so guess what? i am done pushing my body to the limits.. no seriously, i have no freaking idea whats wrong with me these few days.. i just dont get it why my body just cant take not being able to take one morning of soccrs finals, or a whole night of montage making for chocolate day, even after resting so much before or after..

btw, ITALY WON!! (i told you shake!! i freaking told you!!) too bad i didnt bet on it. ouh hold on, its a sin isnt it? well anyway, italy just deserved to win the the fifa world cup 2006, hands down and no doubts or qualms about it. firstly, the french played a dirty game and made worse when Zidane decided to head-butt Materazzi in the chest. straight-out sucker! and that was so close to the penalty shot-out. yea ouhk fine, he got provoked. BIG DAMN DEAL. get over it man, you can take it out outside after the game.

woah.. since when was sarah a soccer fan.. well, ive no reason for it. i mean, after abg yan explained the basic rules about soccer to me, the offside/onside thing, position each players play etc. i find that soccer's not such a bad game after all. heck, played soccer with the other 4v girls last Friday and it was a BLAST. yeah ouhk, we totally bend the rules and refuse to play anywhere but under the shade as well as scoring sideways. hahax.. ouh well, i enjoyed myself.

so anyway, today's my second emcee in a month. took a blood test just now, MY FIRST BLOOD TEST and lemme tell you something, it was scary.. there wasnt any pain, chey, hahax.. but the withdrawal part, where u can actually see you blood being drawn out, now that was scary.. *shiver*.. so anyway, i'll be knowing the results in a few days time. finger crosses that its not anything to be worried about.

i've made a brand new specs last weekend too.. been tired of wearing contacts every single day.. c'mon, trying poking plastic into your eyes every single day.. you'd be feeling pretty tired of it after awhile..

night study is GREAT. no really.. i could REALLY study.. with Safirah, nuriman and hui hoon.. unlikeliest of people to get close to but hey, im happy because finally, i could study in peace, in company of friends and in silence, well partially, after people started filing out after 9pm..would usually get back home at around 10pm.. not bad..

im in love with Panic! at the Disco.. their songs are freaking nice ouhk! i'd prolly be totally behind timelah coz their debut album was released last year and i've only heard them this end, well whats left of this year anywhere. Lyrics to a song by them called 'I write Sins, not Tragedies' are below.

PANIC! AT THE DISCO
"I Write Sins Not Tragedies"

Oh, well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:
"What a beautiful wedding!", "What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."

I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of...

Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way,
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne
Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way,
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne

I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.

Again...

I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.

Again...

my weekend plus plus

2006-07-04T15:03:00.000+08:00

The Montage.. If you can see it =D

The Big Chocolate kitkat bar

chocolate day. yay. montage making. yay. sleeping for an hour. boo. waiting for bloody guest of honour. bigger boo. sleeping for 8 hours ++ and still woke up with a headache. huge booo. but the biggest boo was when i woke up with a headache and even more excruciating swollen lymph nodes. go to the doctors, again, for a stronger antibiotic. and i doc hop. so sue me.

cappucino flavour kitkat is nice and thats surprisingly weird coming from me coz i dont usually really like coffee except if its from starbucks frappes which has like an ounce of coffee in them, really minute amounts unless its mocha caramel frappe, which i love to bits and pieces, or rhumba frappe, which i also simply adore!

so anyway, sunday morning started off alright. with me being all enthusiastic going to sell chocolates even tho im actually not suppose to but i feel guilty coz i've already told dayah i would and if i didnt blah blah blah.. im digressing so let me just continue. so waited for quite some time in the hall with my group members consisting of me, dayah, dyindh and an.. uday was still at church and aton didnt want to come so he bought the whole bag which was 35 x $2 = $70!he's rich and lazy so to him its just prolly change or something. rich bitch.met uday on the bus to orchard, even though we're suppose to go to boon lay, but hello??? im from the east and the west sounds freaking intimidating. no offence but i dont go there. no way.

so we found a strategic spot at the traffic junction in front of ngee ann city and split ourselves into 2 groups. i sold with dayah at the ngee ann end and dyindh, uday and an on the opposite end. by 2, we practically sold all of our chocolates and were already going off. hahahahax.. we could even still see temasekians with full bags of chocolates and ouh we GLOAT at them on our way back to school. dayah had an air rifle competition and i had tuition.

fast forward. tuition was cool. sakinah sat beside me and seemed friendlier without syazwan and azza being there. i wonder why. went to hannah's house to watch high school musical. we laughed at all the chilchés in the movielah. but ouh-my-god!! the songs were bloody nice!! its like a hindustan movie i tell you. but dang it was tame. no kissing at the end of the movie. maybe one of the protagonist has a tiff about it or something because hello? even cinderella the OLD disney version ends with a kissing scene.

so anyway, i rushed back home to get my now dirty-sweaty-with-other-secretions-stinky chocolate day t-shirt washed and dried, and to bloody shower before making my way to the mrt station at 10.45pm to meet nani, ati and hanz.

it was so cool! there was practically no one at the landing! we met hakim on the train and made idiotic fools of ourselves taking pictures and such. well that was before all the gangly partially-drunk abang-abang kinda mats came into our carriage from somewhere in the train and sat on the floor. childish behavior was obviously a death wish, so we stick to bitching about people and tried to ignore them looking at us with bloodshot eyes. 'twas scary babes, SCARY.

Deserted

In the MRT

The First Montage
so, we arrived at plaza singapura on time but the stage wasnt set up yet so we explored the mall!! i was so high, screaming and shouting, attracting more attention than i intend to, but all that kind of ceased after i fell down after trying to race with hakim on the escalator going on the opposite direction. now was that bloody dumb or what? and the bruises were painful ouhk..

so anyway, then it was time for the construction of the first rehearsal montage. the M.Ms or Montage Makers (or Maisarah Miskoons, kay that was lame) had to gather and split into 4 quadrants. i was in the 2nd quadrant group consisting of; me, nans, ati, hanz, hakimbo, lia, saf, corny, michelle, hid jais, shaikha, angel, farah fweks, isya, erni and james. did i miss out anybody? hahax. anyway. we are the kool kentals kinda group. there was the 5a or the immatuer gang of guys, quarkers gang and lastly, the bimbo group. we had to wait ages while the PSLs sort stuff out but we just sang songs and played 'Murderer' and stuff while waiting. but anyway, we had loads of fun doing the montage and it took us like what, an hour and a half to complete the whole montage consisting more than 10000 boxes of chocolates! hahax.. and then we had nothing else to do but sleep.

which we didnt! hey, we at least we tried and i did manage to get some shut eye at 6-7.38am in the morning. see! THATS ME SLEEPING BELOW. the gurls and i were totally bitching about everybody! it was so funny can.. if only i could die laughing my head off at the thing about that gurl and that guy 'fighting' and got caught half naked together. like was that stoopid, or was that stoopid?

so woke up feeling so groggy, only to find that the 2nd floor toilet was close coz the freaking toilet lady wants to wash it, so we had to make our way up to the 3rd floor. kay ah, let me tell you something. when we entered, it was nice and clean and dry. when we left, it was still 'nice', even pleasant smelling but ouh so very wet. thats coz we totally wash our hair in the sinks. aisya and su came in, they totally left after looking at us washing our hair at the toilet sinks, leaving naf to wander where the couple were after going into the cubicles. it was hilarious but damn satisfying ouhk. i felt like crap before but after washing my hair, i felt as fresh as a bird. but unfortunately, not as chirpy. suddenly had a sore throat. the infection spread, from my lymph nodes to my throat.

but anyway, monday really wasnt my day. dont get me wrong, the montage was made so nicely, until someone, a fuckingly stoopid temasekian, thought the boxes of chocolates were packets of tissues or something and fucking leaped his fucking way across the montage. I WANTED TO SMACK HIM RIGHT ACROSS HIS FUCKED UP FACE. some of the boxes were squashed and that made the montage crooked, however hard alia and naf tried to fix it. that buggered asshole. i hate him.

macdonalds at plaza singapura sucked to the core!!! service? might as well not have it. food? burnt pancakes for $5.30? YOU FUCKING EAT IT.

so, basically felt like crap, even on the way home on the mrt. try not sleeping for 31 hours will you and you get what i mean. went home on the bus, with somehow faiz, being sesat on the same bus, and slept till i dont know what time today, but definitely less than 20 hours, went to the doctors, and blog.

am now waiting for mum to get back. i dont know why. toodles.

what i really wanted to say.

2006-06-20T20:01:00.000+08:00

so...............................................................

you know, sometimes you have to go to great lengths for a sabbatical from everything. your life, love life, academic studies, being in the same roof with parents practically lecturing you every single day etc. for me, it was a trip to malaysia. went there, had a blast, came home, and trouble comes S.M.A.C.K in the face. well, at least it gave me a few hours of rest before it did. how thoughtful.

now, im whom you call a negotiator, a peacemaker, the go-to person when the rest of the world seems to be against you, a temporary shelter, an observant idiot who does nothing but stare from a distance, a crowd pleaser, an occasional oracle. all in all, im not what you call an ideal friend but i try to make ends meet.

and frankly, im highly doubtful if others are doing the same. now, before we start pointing fingers at other people, look at your hand. there might be one finger, usually the index, pointing at everyone else, but theres four more pointing the opposite direction. at ourselves.

are we making an effort too? do we try? question ourselves why is it that others view us that way. why is it that she blames me? why is it she picks on me and not others? other people never said so, she's the only one. does it make her instantly at fault? search within yourselves. did you make an effort? did you contributed to her thinking that way? or lack thereof? did she misunderstood you? or did you misunderstood her?

misunderstandings do occur, all the time in fact. and the sad thing. it has been going on for too long to return to what it was. its too late. even saying sorry does not quite cut it anymore.

the reality of it all is that,
we're no longer in your future.
then again, were we ever?

this is me... now

2006-06-13T01:29:00.000+08:00

i've been doing lots of things i would normally never do.. not in a negative context but ya noe, things that i thought off but never did either for a long while or never at all..

let me list them down shall i?

1) i studied!! i mean, ya noe, normal for people taking major exams but not to me. heck i didnt study for psle. doesnt work that way in sec sch. yes, sarah had been delusional all this while. well, what can i say? ignorance was bliss.
2) i think i finally moved on as a person. i think im ready for the next phase in my life. finally.
3) i've been watching the world cup. surprise, surprise. was never a futsal fan but hey, some of the players are like really cute. i still dun like england tho. i mean the guys. dont even talk to me about skills. im completely clueless.
4) i've been to the library more often as well as the cinema. whoops. cant. resist. the. big. cinema. screen.
5) i watched x-men 3 ALONE. *gasp* aiyer.. not that badlah actually. i kinda laughed to myself at times until like these guys next to me were looking at me strangely. if only i could ask them to shut up more during the movie. but i was lonely. even if smatterings of noisy inconsiderate people bug me, i'll just have to put up with it. heck, if i were to have friends with me, i'd be noisier.
6) i feel that artem or blake should be in the finals instead of jamile for 'so you think you can dance'. and i hate that noisy bitch of a judge who keeps going 'woooo...'. irritating shit. i know! and i dont even like to dance. im born with two left feet, you see. sad huh? but i used to be good in malay dance, i think, during primary school. i can still remembered the dance teacher's name. it was mdm mariam. hahax.. well, the club closed down after 3-4 months so yea.. there goes my only hope of twirling around. ouh hold on. didnt i dance like a hooker during p5 camp. *reminiscing* good days. good days. hahahahax...
7) i am addicted to the scrubs soundtrack.. jeremy kay!!! all thanks to dyindh!
8) i asked fir to teach me amaths.. well, thats cause faizal was being so unhelpful.. huh.. mentah2 pegi jc.. ya noe, using faizal as an example, growing up does not make you humble. more like a hypocrite. or an ingrate. depends on how you view the situation.
9) i've finally made up my mind on where to go after secondary school. im taking mass comm at tp. *takes a great sigh of relief*. no turning back now. actually, theres still time to think it through but nah, saves me the trouble of going to the kitchen to get paracetamol. besides, im achlouphobic remember. not to fond of the dark thank you very much.
10) im starting to write pop songs. yucks. i thought of maybe leaning towards country or jazz, but somehow i ended up writing some pop song. here, i'll show you and umm, comment on it alright?

Crystal Clear

Dear You,
There is no point, for me, to avoid unevitable,
Because you, already know how i feel,
But you, choose to believe otherwise,
Cause you, choose to believe all her lies.

Cant you see what you’re doing?
Or continue to be blinded.
Cant you see what she’s doing,
Or just be undermined.

I cant hate you, but i cant love you either,
Well isnt this a catch 22,
I’ll take the blame,
Yea, I’ll take the fall for my wrongdoings.

But im not the only one,
You played a part too,
Insignificant,
I dont care,
I’ve made my point,
Two words,
Crystal.
Clear.

Initial reaction after vomiting the words: ew.. this sounds like a pop song. Needs a second draft when mental block is lifted. Preferbly after olevels. Countdown 3 months and a week. Good luck.
LETS GET LIFTED! HIGH, HIGH, HIGH...

just tell me what you think of it. be gentle kays? its my first time. ouhk, that sounded wrong.........................

*makes a face*

Top 5 songs this week:

1) Have it All - Jeremy Kay

2) Teman Tapi Mesra - Ratu

3) Di Dadaku Ada kamu - Ratu

4) Dreaming of you - The Coral

5) Make Damn Sure - Taking Back Sunday

ah aite. toodles!!

history repeats itself..

2006-06-09T00:21:00.000+08:00

What you did...
I Can't Forgive.
What i wanted you to do...
You Never Did.
But i can't hate you...
Because THAT Would Mean That I Still Care.
I don't want to care about you anymore. I just want to feel...

Indifference.

Because then you will mean nothing to me...
Just A Memory.

06/06/06

2006-06-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

lovely date innit? absolutely lovely. and ouh what a day. what an amusing day it was for lil' ole me.

ouhk, i have to express my little escapades before i burst into tears or worst case scenario, pee in my pants!! note to self: do not visit library on weekdays during lunch or in the evening.

1) there are no seats, to the point of WWIII waiting to happen.
2) there so many people whom you recognize, meet online, friendster, msn etc. who might be there. ouhk, not might but WILL.
3) private conversations? forget it!
4) conducive studying environment? yeah, well maybe.

let me elaborate on point one. there was this girl. i came before her, only i browsed for a while before actually finding a seat. so i was coming from the teenage/adult fiction room and she was coming from the back of the library and so technically if both of us were to rush towards the reference section, where all the chairs and tables are provided, common sense would say that we had an equal oportunity to enter at the same time. but she cheated and started brisk walking and so i thought, 'ouh well, its only one person right? what difference does it make'. And low and behold, not one but 2 people took advantage of me giving way to only one. ouhk, maybe he didnt think of it that way since ya noe, it was his girlfriend after all. well, guess who that jolly person was? it was whom farah used to call a squid during pahang last year.

frankly speaking, i would love to go up to him, eye him INCREDULOUSLY, and walk off. ouh no, not jealous but appalled. utterly and involuntarily appalled. not at his girlfriend, ouh no, but him going out with her. im sorry but being a big bitch is in the friggin' blood and this is my blog. so no, i will not apologise for offending any party after saying that, 'honey! do you usually wear this hideous outfit because everything else is in the wash or were you actually making extra effort to impress?'. i cannot stand bermudas or guys broadshorts in the wrong shade of khaki on gurls. for a trip to the beach maybe, but normal everyday wear like TO THE LIBRARY?

im not a fashionista, heck if i'd ever qualify to be one, but hello, someone should give 'ambush makeover' a call to franchise the show in this tropical island unharmed by mother nature's wrath. she's not been very forgiving lately is she?

no, im not a she-devil. im a bitch and this is what bitches do. i cant be nice all the time can i? no i bloody cant. [television's been a wee bit boring lately and sitcoms are getting rather stale, exc. desperate housewives. that is one helluva funny show. complicating, yes but ouh so juicy..]--> random.

well, im kind of happy. i've got a new amaths tuition teacher. a little bit on the tallish side, not very keen on the talking but hey thats ouhk.. i can prolly talk for the both of us. first lesson wasnt as bad as i thought.. pretty progessive considering that since the library was full *grumbles*, we headed out to long john where we meet some temasekians. then blah blah blah. im tired. over the hedge was nice [so cute!! vern!! hammie! the 3 baby headgehogs! stella!! the cute puffy-face persian cat!] but too much gas and explosion. but its a cartoon, yea i get it, but hey a freaking laser pest detection which exudes enough radiation to destroy a whole house, a satelitte and still the sparse hair of the exterminator does not fall off, yet a bear was almost bald like he had undergone chemotherapy or sthg? ouh ouh ouh and, this was in the full view of garden animals wearing shades, popping popcorn and roasting marshmallows, enjoying the show, tanned and STILL the hedge was untouched??

nonsensical. i prefer madagascar. now that is a funny movie. i wanna watch cars. the cars are hot, i mean cute. the cars are cute. yea.

needless to say these are only the things that i can vomit out at the moment because im friggin high right now and unable to concentrate. no, thats not it. im just spouting meaningless bullshit because thats what i do. ouh damn. biology practically. DIE, DIE, DIE!

gtgs. buhbyee.

the polyphonic spree

2006-06-01T19:36:00.000+08:00

hey.. wont be able to blog much about these days so i'm just going to post up lyrics of my favourite songs..

Hold Me Now Lyrics
By: The Polyphonic Spree

He started the day with a mood and a shake.
He was finally arranged.
And someone said with a cold, hard chest, "You're a mess!"
He woke up at nights.
He thought he was twice.
He was moving away
cause everyone thinks that it goes away with age.

Hold me now, don’t start shaking.
You keep me safe.'
Don't ever think you're the only one
when times are tough in your new age.

Hold me now, don’t start shaking.
You keep me safe.
Don't ever think you're the only one
when times are tough in your new age.
You better be cool at the time.

He’s walking along with his soul in his lungs.
Ya stare at him long you can find a new song.
Everyone thinks they've got a new phrase.
But you're still miles away.
You're still miles away.
I said, "You're still miles away."

Hold me now, don’t start shaking.
You keep me safe.'
Don't ever think you're the only one
when times are tough in your new age.

Instrumental Bridge

Hold me now, don’t start shaking.
You keep me safe.
Don't ever think you're the only one
when times are tough in your new age.

turn my life 360..

2006-05-26T21:23:00.000+08:00

me not feeling very good of me results.. did terrible, terribly bad.. see even me vocabulary suck nowadays.. am taking a sabbatical from extensive usage of vocabulary since hell, it aint getting me nowhere.. well, might as well ignore sentence structuring too.. coz dat aint exactly needed in blogging.. thats right kids, it doesnt.. nobody cares how you blog about ur life.. just what you blog about.. hear, hear!

so sucky exam results aside, sucky attitude towards exam results aside, me gonna start AFRESH!

well, me kinda forced to do so right? olevels in like what 4-5 months time right? so me gotsta buck up real quick.. dats right.. ouh! wanna noe the extent of me failure in mye.. me getting one-to-one mentoring from hod.. yay.. bleerugh.. like how depressing can dat be.. me down with it, god knows me actually need someone to lecture me right in me face on how bleeding stoopid i am and how sucky i am.. and they call this 'strategizing' people!!! stop, bloody patronizing me..

me know what me capable of doing, and well frankly, it aint much innit? and why now? why not last year when me grades alredy start dropping.. what happen to all the preventing is better than cure bullshit.. aite fine.. lets take another train ride to ' its your own fault! you didnt take bloody initiative! your foundation is weak! your time management sucks! YADA YADA BLEEDING YADA!

TELL me SOMETING me DONT already KNOW, will you? and miz woon, get a life.. no, listen 4R, i dont bleeding know how you put up with her, but she's a spoiler.. i aint dropping bio.. no damn way.. and since you're not gonna help me, thank god for miz yati's peer-mentoring system.. now me gonna get help.. finally..

school during the june holidays, BRING. IT. ON

stress, pressure, no social bleeding life, HERE. I. COME..

im a pressurized student, HERE. ME. ROAR.

nothing aint ever gonna put me down no more, you hearr!

NOTHING!

am not against anybody no more.. lead your life while i lead mine..

truce alright?

im OUTTA here..

randomity..

2006-05-23T21:49:00.000+08:00

hellooo darlings..

what i'm doing: updating my blog and chatting.

what im suppose to be doing: homework and research for 'work'.. that's the main reason why my mom unearthed the laptop in the first place.. well, basically, im banned from the bloody tv. i noe, its a wonder im still living now.. barely i tell you, barely!

what i have to do: study peribahasa for tomorrow's mock exam (another one!) and note down points for thursday's mini-bahas.

what i was doing: playing some game on the comp, chatting and searching for lyrics..

PROCRASTINATION,
my darlings, is not a good thing to be doing right now, during the most crucial time of one's life.. the examination call GCE 'O' levels that is going to be held at the end of this year, which i am sitting for, will determine the next step i will take in the future.. will it be bright? or will the feeling of regret engulfs my whole being come February 2007? stay tune to find out..

hellooooooooooooooo.....?

its my life *jeng, jeng, jengjengjengjeng* don't you forget! ouh its my life! it never ends....!!!

helloooooo.....?

who the heck am i kidding... cant bloody pull off a decent gwen stefani impersonation.. not for this song anyway..

randomity..

thus the heading..

so, i watched the da vinci code last week.. pretty cool considering how complicated the book was to understand as i totally lacked the background knowledge initially.. no wonder the vatican was absolutely furious when the book came out.. surprise, surprise, it became bestseller.. i would not be surprise if the movie hits the boxoffice or something, (pardon me, am not accustomed to 'movie language') despite the church's plea for christians to boycott the movie.. how foolish can they be? its FICTION hello.. as in NOT REAL.. as in SUPERBLY MADE UP by a GREAT WRITER? someone need to get that into their thick skulls.. and ouh.. love the sadistic-ness of the movie! some 15 year olds manage to sneak in ah.. shall not name anyone though.. or i'd be blamed for being for helping to accomplish the feat.. well, no matter.. had fun!!

well, i gtg... buhbyeeeee

abrupt, contradiction, procrastination..

my be-OOO- tiful life..

ah ignorance is bliss..

poor delusional soul of mine...

quickie!

2006-05-17T19:06:00.000+08:00

helloo darlings..

im finally back to my bubbly old self.. no, not because i finally got good grades, or win a million dollars, but because i found out who i really am and what im going to be in life.. like finally! do you know how? by talking to God, and no, not because of the mole fengshui email my cousin gave me.. me and God have a special relationship and i choose to believe it even though He has special relatonships with everyone else.. ouh gawd.. that sounded a little wrong.. well i didnt mean it that way!

gosh.. its friggin hard with exams getting in the way.. yeaps.. nervous breakdown over, snide comments made, drop in self-esteem gotten over with, uncomfortable small talk with people would are so competitive that they would pee in their pants just to know your results..err.. not yet.. but will get there soon enough.. i've not met those kind but maybe in the future i would.. would be the highlight of my day to tell them off.. sad life..

so anyway.. these few days i keep hanging out with adam, hakim, nani and izzati.. kinda nice.. change of scene for a little bit.. hahax.. however, had to turn them down to a trip to parkway parade just now because i was feeling kinda sleepy and drowsy.. what do you expect.. spent the whole of last night doing the freaking 'bonding and structure organizer' that horizontally-challenged teacher of mine, who by the way, sees no hope of me doing chemistry.. frankly, she can take that comment and stuck it up her.. eh hem.. shall not continue..

besides.. will be seeing them tomorrow anyway.. sham, nuriman, adam, hakim, nani, izzati and me going to watch the da vinci code.. planning to sneak adam and hakim in.. the babies in the group.. and that makes me the oldest.. hahax.. must hang out with an older group in jc or poly and be the baby of the gang.. ahh.. what a sad..sad life i lead..

whatever man..

2006-05-15T18:38:00.000+08:00

words were left unspoken much was needed to be said. do i feel guilty, hell yes. but am i totally at fault, hell no. it aint fair her treating me this way. i just forgot to do a simple thing and there she goes, there she goes again, like my credibility has not suffered enough as it is.
frankly, i dont need this bullshit, i fucking dont. so do whatever you want, im done. life goes on and my life aint gonna be on standstill to entertain your sudden heat waves.

i hate you and you hate me. arent we a big family family?

bullshit.

lets all wonder..

2006-05-11T23:15:00.000+08:00

helloo darlings..

now, i marvel at the fact that even though people talk behind my back, at least they have the decency to not say it to my face and put me down unless of course, i really deserved it. i actually ask my friends what they think of me. most of the time, they have nothing against me, or so they say, but i tend to believe them anyway the reason being that they are my friends.

however, what gets on my nerves are people who do say horrible things to me right in my face when in the first place they dont even know me and yet think that they have the right to judge me. now, i find that insulting. not because of what they say but their atrocious behaviour.

however, instead of feeling all angry at the undeserved attention, im just frustrated that i could not tell the person off. yes darlings, getting into arguments is my favourite pastime. what can i say? its in the blood.

speaking of blood, my latest obsession is with the supernatural, namely vampires. i find them bloody sexy. no seriously. well, at least anne rice's perception of how vampires could be. mysterious, slightly eccentric and so bloody (no pun intended) sexy. a gurl like me cant help having fantasies about that kind of vampires. watch the movie 'queen of the damned' if you cant read the real thing. either way, it doesnt matter.

so moving on to the chapter where i vent about my life and the current events that are happening.

tonight, just now i mean, my family went to hajah maimunah restaurant to celebrate Mother's Day. food was alright, place was friggin' cold. too bad nuriman told me about his modelling gig a tad too late or i could have postpone the eating out to saturday or something. the rest met up just now and went to the expo. will resort to asking him how it was on monday.
hope that he would not turn 'celebritrish' on me or i would have to smack him right across the face.

LOST rocks. OPRAH rocks. BARRY MANILOW rocks. B & W BACKGROUNDS rocks. MASQUERADE rocks. SUMMER BY KENZO rocks.

i need to buy or rent more books. or i will rot at home or die of boredom, whichever comes first. updating and reupdating my friendster profile bores me. going out bores me. studying bores me (mye is over.. but the studying is never going to stop till the end of the year. im going to die a slow death). amaths tuition pop quizes makes me wanna barf, having to sit through lengthy lectures makes me sleep, unless if its my mom doing the lecturing, then i would pretend that i was ally macbeal or J.D from scrubs and strangle her. then again i would not want to see naked babies dancing in my office. thats just plain freaky.

i have done the most embarrasing thing tonight, and whats more it was my mother, my own flesh and blood, who forced me to keep a lookout while she and my auntie did it. NOT THAT 'IT'. now thats just plain disgusting.

i need to go to the pool more. nothing much change since the renovation, but i think i should swim more. i tink im losing my touch. last tuesday, me and sham 'worked out' at the gym at the public pool. it was huge!! and friggin' cold but since i was sweating like a pig (literally!), did not noticed much. but it was fun. went swimming afterwards, only managed 2 laps. man, i used to do 20 during each trip. i should visit the pool alone. going with sham distracts me. no, im not a lesbian or have lesbian fantasies, but going with friends would just make you do silly things together. its fun, gotta admit that.

my new found talent is editing pictures. im not saying that i've become a professional or anything. just an amateur. even sham says that my works was not bad. though she didnt give me any constructive advice either. dang..

abang yan's getting so freaking fat and gravity is taking a toll on abang taufeeq's face. he looks tired all the time. mak cah's the naggy person that she is, nothing has changed with her. izad, omg, is getting so friggin rude, but he's still cute to me. reminds me of well, me? hahahax.. kelkel, aiyah, i hate him now.. kicks me like nobody's business, cant bloody kick him back.. but i got my retribution. he was climbing the sofa and was reaching for something from the table behind and fell down, overturning the chair. nigaria falls happen, of course, but his mom just said 'you deserve it'.. lurv it!

dang.. im such a cruel bitch.

abg ridhwan, well we're keeping in touch finally. but he's freaking weirdlah now. hanyut tu hanyut but what can i say, he's still my 'big brother', we still argue like we did 5-9 years ago. dang.. i miss him.

so, i have no idea what to write anymore, but am going to sign of with a saying from... from somewherelah..

"No matter how hard you try to fight it, you'll fall and its as SCARY as hell. Except, if there's an upside to freefalling, is the chance you give your friends to catch you :)"

Ouhk, as per normal, Top 5 songs this week:

Mandy by Barry Manilow
Cell Block Tango by Chicago OST
Trouble by Elvis Presley
Let's Get lifted by John Legend
The last part of My Humps file Hakim sent me

so thats it for now.. toodles!

the expected and the unexpected..

2006-04-25T20:38:00.000+08:00

hello my darlings..

its been awhile since i've updated this blog.. well, instead of feeling guilty about it, i'm rather proud of myself for keeping myself preoccupied with so many things that it made me resist the temptation of using the laptop every single day.. well, isnt that utter bullshit.. hahax.. truthfully speaking, my laptop crashed awhile back and my cousin didnt had any time to come around to fix it.. i am utterly grateful that he finally did though..

so, many things had happened since i've last updated.. examinations had shown its fugly head again, with the higher mother tongue papers held last week and english paper 1 today.. well, i think i messed up alot for these papers.. however, am going to ignore the nagging feeling.. will instead resort to being delusionally ignorant.. so, got new venetian blinds so my window.. looked so romantic, i cant help falling head over heels with them.. managed to rent more new books from marine parade and read them all within the first two weeks, scored 10/13 for some social studies assignment, and got some studying done in preparation for the mye papers i'll be taking next week.

guess what i did today? after the paper, i took the emaths test on graphs, dont worry, i did not cheat and then went back home alone and watched 'in her shoes' vcd, which uday had kindly allowed me to borrow. bless her. after praying zohor, went to meet sham at marine parade. thought it was the shopping centre before reaslising my mistake, no actually after calling sham and alerted the whole shopping mall level with my swearing, and meeting sham outside the starbucks of marine parade library. got very little things done though.. not much of a pity since me and sham decided we could not concentrate anymore and started gossiping, and well, you know where that ends. by the way, im absolutely certain the toilet outside is haunted. i was scared shitless being in there alone.

well, what i learn these past month may not be relevant to many but i guess, it meant the world to me. i love my juniors, they rock my world and i miss them so much. with the canoeing season over, i rarely see them anymore. hahax.. but thats okay, bitter sweet memories of mine will always be remembered. thanks to first and foremost sham, follow by vans, ying ying, raihanah, veronica, shan ying (my two beauti-ful bods toilet cubicle buddies!!), chan song, wei jie, christopher, reza, AMIR, barbs, john, nicole, venice and all my other canoeing peeps for making my last year as a Temasek Canoeist an unforgettable one. i dont mind about not winning anything, the experience alone is enough. Thank you. because of you guys, we won back our 'B' div and defended of 'C' dis girls titles and managed to get 4th for 'C' div boys. we knock the shit out of NJC!! now that is an achievement :)

some things just never change. some people just never change. and some, just surprises us in such a good way that it made one feel good about oneself. the merest gesture sometimes are the most memorable. hmm.. or maybe its just me reading too much into things, like i always do but maybe this time, theres actual hope.

`i hope that you would just forget about me, like how im trying to forget you. i know how you feel, im just sad that the feeling's not for me. although i feel that you do not deserve her, my thoughts never really matter much to you anymore. however so, in my new position, i shall not say anymore, but watch from a distance. its time that you should know that im just a memory to you, like i hope you would be to me. goodbye..

im not feeling depressed, but i guess im just sad, even though i should not be. however so, im glad too. maybe i should seize the opportunity to forget about the past and instead think more about the future and the hope it brings. finally get a grip on life. emancipation? far from it. just taking the first step though. i'll get there one day. one fine day.

so, even though exams just around the corner, well, technically speaking, the assignments and tests keep piling up.. who the freaking hell can get any studying done.. well, ouhk, besides han liang and those born-to-be-clever people.. but NOT ME!! I've had it up till here *points to the top of my head* with stuff to do.. seriously.. alright fine, so my time management sucks.. and yea, fine, i even had time to blog.. but this blog entry is a summary of a whole month andtwoo day and is long overdue, so eventually i HAVE TO update it anyway..

even though i said i was on hiatus.. well, i would be lying if i deny the claim that my life revolves around contradictions.. then again, isnt life by itself complicated? or do we complicate our own lives instead? then how come there's a lot of contradictions in life? the same with love, which is a fallacy by the way, or sex, lies or deceit? misconception? or mere misunderstanding? think about it, or better yet, dont.. why ask for a headache..

i HATE the book i borrowed from zizie, which thanks to dewi, allowed me to read it first.. i though usually malay books have happy endings, or maybe justice is served, ya noe, the whole good guy wins in the end kinda endings.. nw i just beg to differ.. and the language.. i thought the purpose of reading a book is to IMPROVE my laguage, or at least widen my views on social matters but nooooo....... after reading this book, i BEG to differ, thank you very much.. its like that peribahasa (malay anological proverb) seperti melekut di tepi gantang, masuk tidak memenuhi, keluar tidak mengurangi..

well, anyway, people whom are reading this particular entry would be bored by now huh? well, too bad!! but i'd stop now, considering that i've nothing else to say and im suppose to hav a lot of work to do in addition to the two tests im suppose to study for.. ooo! i used a connector.. mr tan, my english teacher, would be so proud of me.. too bad i suck at english any old damn way.. shit.. well, i'm going, im going.. GONE..

ouh btw, my top 5 favourite songs this week:

Myself - Kara's Flowers
N Dey Say - Nelly
Not Falling Apart - Maroon 5
Nature Boy - Celine Dion
Move Along - All American Rejects

im so over franz ferdinand.. the music rocks, dont get me wrong.. they're like system of a down, only different GENRE.. electic and strange, but nice.. but omg.. the singing sucks!! gawd..

2006-03-18T21:29:00.001+08:00

hey guys..

not a productive week, though eventful..but things was just not going my way these days and my attitude towards evrything sure does suck.. i can't blame evrything on pms, even though it was partially the cause.. so its march now.. next month's april, so that means i have a competition to win, loads of tests to score in and currently, im still coming into terms with the reality that well, i cant sing.. at least not good enough for the singapore idol judges.. i had my second chance and i blew it.. well, at least i made a friend.. ouh hold on, i didnt even say goodbye to him.. see how great my life is right now?

well, im sick and tired of being sick and tired.. even training didnt go so well these few days.. am not producing any results.. utter bullshit man.. thats it!!!!

im going on hiatus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my first week of march..

2006-03-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

missed training just now.. very the malas (lazy) but, but, was celebrating my bah bah's bdae.. at seoul garden.. man, im stuffed.. ate so much, it'll be a wonder if i do not gain any weight.. but knowing me, im sure i wont.. how contradicting.. well, we got back our progress report.. naturally it was shit, but i improved a lot.. i did.. not enough though.. but i wonder why.. i do well for quizes but shit for tests.. wtf.. talk about bad luck.. im gonna have to buck up like real bad.. ms yati said my focus now is to pass everything first.. minimum grade b4.. and how the fuck am i suppose to do that? my problematic subjects are emaths, physics and biology.. miraculously i scored a b4 for amaths.. hurray to that.. hml, dont even want to talk about it but am really grateful Cikgu Sahriana's my teacher and i love her to bits and pieces.. english, could have done better, b4 too.. combined humans b3 each.. hurray to that too.. and last of all chemistry.. VERY WASTED.. i only needed one more mark to get an A1.. damnit.. got stuck with an A2.. well, should not complain.. could've been worse..

so, did i mention that i love being in 4 Vers... Violence now? no seriously, my class rocks my socks.. captain's ball/ basketball during PE just now was so fun.. and it was so rrrame lah.. and rrrroopid.. dont ask about the rrr thing.. some spastic thing me and adinda made up about something.. so anyway, all the gurls went to the PE room to find another game to play coz we got so sick of captain's ball.. there were so many choices that we couldn't decide which one.. yea right.. hahahax.. so joash came in and he became one of the gurls and 'convince' us to play captain's ball with a twist.. so we did, in the basketball court, with canteen benches.. i tell you, R.O.U.G.H game.. people got hurt falling off the benches, people got scratched, by me, hehe.. even i never got away unscath.. huge bruise on my leg due to the collision with the fench, trying to avoid jonathan.. was worth it.. got the ball and my team scored.. bruise stung though when i bath.. well the game was also very rrrame because halfway through, we suddenly have people standing on the benches and viola! cheerleaders doing lai chee kang.. how err.. rightttt...... and so after that, we never did do anything during malay, just finished up/redo our individual flowcharts for alive! and lepak after that.. so 4Violence has decide on 2 class t-shirts.. like the design.. quite sophisticated in a feministic gurlie gurl kinda way.. am sure the boys would adore it.. got to admit, they are kinda soft sometimes.. whoops!

so, went back home alone because all my poss-ay have motivational camp.. talked to fatin on the bus.. hey!! before you think or say anything, bear in mind i was ALONE and i've got to TALK or i'll burst.. her progress report wasnt so good but she didnt mind showing it to everyone.. actually, it was terrible really.. but this is my bloogery blooger bloogy blog, so enough about her and her boyfriend who ironically did not get down with her because maybe he wanted to attend friday prayers at gufran but i doubt so coz taqwa's nearer and its not that small either, so if anyone wants to pray, they can jolly well not be choosy of the place coz all of the mosques in the world are the houses of god.. phew.. talk about a long sentence.. met norlina on the bus including all her chai chee homies.. ouh yea, alif too.. been awhile since i talked to him.. and to think we used to play catching all around the school in primary 4.. hahax.. bittersweet memories that never lasts.. how quaint.. so anyway, walked home with my training skipper buddy Veno and crapped like nobodies business talking about primary school life and all.. ahh.. finally someone whose pure tampinesian blood.. hahax.. sarah rrame.. well, i got to go darlings.. got to slepp till i cant sleep animore..

ps: love actually, yea the movie, the whole uncensored one, is gross but since my mind is already throughly contaminated its just what, second-rated anticlimatic porn..? no use watching.. ouh yea.. and by the way, i've got a new phone.. bubu gave it to me coz she didnt want to buy me a new one.. its the nokia n70 one.. hahax.. btw i'm obsessed with michael jackson's 'butterflies' after ace sang it for american idol this week..

`you gave me butteflies.. inside..

darn, im such a romantic..

my first week of feb..

2006-03-04T15:51:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

do you know what? i think i sound VERY boring in my few previous entries. and DEPRESSING. no seriously, can someone tell me please if i sound boring?? omg!!! i dont want to be a tax officer!! ouh the horror!!! i cant work behind a desk, for 8-10 hrs/day, 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year!! noooooo!! and i've started listening to jazz and actually like that genre!! omg!! if im not boring, have i matured?? nooooo!! too fast!!! i mean who ever heard of a teenage canoeist listening to jazz? ouh yea.. me.. the sole specimen.. the only one who's destined to become a tax officer.. ewwww.. must not let that happen.. ouhk, i've narrowed my list of occupations to 5. can you guys kinda tell me which one suits me best, personality, capability and interest-wise. so here goes;

Sarah's Top 5 Future Occupations:

Broadcast Journalist =)
Aerospace Engineer XD
or Air Engineering Officer
Speech Therapist =$
Nurse >.<

so here they are guys. help me alright? i will not update if nobody gives me a response.. im serious!! this depends on my future!! its crucial! i know im sounding paranoid but im not, im really not.. and and im going to JC not poly like i initially intended to.. i need to buy myself MORE TIME!!!

career guidance week..

2006-03-02T17:46:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

career guidance week at temasek seccondary school is such a waste of time.. and that website is so nonsensical.. i can live with being a speech therapist but a tax officer?? c'mon man.. you've just got to be kidding me.. i'd rather eat cows eyes with bile gravy than to be a tax officer.. i'd die of boredom.. i'd be such a boring person that if anyone were to talk to me, they'd be so turned off after only a few seconds.. and no, i'm not being dramatic! it happens..

well anyway, just now was fun though.. although seriously uneducational and unchallenging.. i miss the craziness and lame stuff me and alia used to do.. i dont care what people think, hell, sometimes i irritate others too.. im not saying i dont like hanging out with my usual friends but sometimes, one do feel suffocated being with the same old people, every single day.. and i dont think i need to explain myself on this matter, so there.

im not a serious kind of person, or the overly bitchy sort.. i do have my moments.. sometimes i'd like to let loose and get drunk on plain highness.. the rush of adrenaline felt so darn good just now.. been so uptight and tensed up lately.. was with alia, farahyn and a few others juz now, making an utter fool out of myself at the paya lebar air base, grinned at the teachers who gave us glares for our improper behaviors, being absolutely disgusting with acts of lesbianity with alia and got scared out of our wits when hanafi made ghostly sounds at the small dark room and just totally had a ball of a time.. i miss all of those things.. however,i realised that i have to grow up someday and im gonna miss those days dearly..

i have not decided on what i really want to be when i grow up, as incredulous as it sounds consider all the talks and visits that had been shoved at us this week. im still trying to figure out where i should go and what path is more suitable for me.. that was how unproductive the career convention thing at Suntec was.. if you ask me, i thought it was inapproprite and does not interest me at all.. it was all focused on business and management, engineering and promotion of overseas universities and its propects. thats totally depressing as i had no interest whatsoever in these areas.. except aerospace engineering but its only a notion, not a full blown passion like i have for communications and infocom.. and no, not even the gorgeous guys from the civil defence could interest me.. well until i figured out what im going to be, i'll just take the time to focus on my studies and training (only a month left till competition).. toodles darlings..

a slice of life on fridays

2006-02-25T12:51:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

woke up today with stiff shoulders and bad hair. not suppose to happen after 12 hours of sleep. im a pig on weekends, so sue me. sitting here, looking like medusa is not my ideal saturday afternoon but im feeling lazy to do anything else. ah, piggy me. so, yesterday was a good/bad/tiring/irritating/interesting day. man, i've got to improve my vocab. so anyway, yesterday, friday the 24th of February. well, couldn't remember much of the school day but training was irritating!! not tiring, but irritating. the tsar keep pestering me, shouting at me and thats so not the image i want to portray in front of others. it was so humiliating doing dry-paddling in front of all those people, with him practically screaming in my ears.

and whats the deal with him trying to show me how to do it right when others also make the same mistake but still manage to win races? gawd, give me a break. and the one-to-one thing, like whats up with that? if you want to smell my BO so much, just say so, i can give u my foul-smelling t-shirt afterwards. if i didnt hate him so much, i could have felt something. but thank god i didnt. and man, it didnt help when there was a group of mats there. so inappropriately placed. what? dont tell me Macritchie has become the next Orchard Road? well, since i wasnt in the mood, my pissed off face pretty much says it all. try to be funny with me and you'll wish that you hadn't. according to sham, one was staring at me. if i know about that sooner, i'd stare back, hard. till sparks would literally shoot out of my eyes and he'll be so freaked out that he'll capsized. damn..if only.. would be able to make me laugh so hard, till my stomach would hurt. sadistic me..

so anyway, after training, did about 9km, we beached up and guess what? i saw two monkeys!! up close.. well, then we had to keep moving on coz i was carrying a boat and also coz we had to, fearing that it would shit on us. wouldn't make a diff since i stank like shit anw. so after training, i was ravenous! luckily, the sec 2s brought food!! well even so, there was not much so, my after training snack was a bit of bread, 1/3 of a banana, one strawberry, one m&m and half a can of 100 plus. and that was a lot after sharing everythg. anyway, no push ups today so, went back home and got ready for tuition. learnt, or rather, reinforced my knowledge on P & C. hey, once you get the hang of it, it was kind of easy and less confusing. hahahax.. alfiyan and zabeen didnt come though. but might as well, preferred a smaller group anw.. so, learnt a few things. alfiyan was dayah's primary school friend! and syafiq was nasruddin's primary school friend. what a small world. had a chat with dayah last night too. found out stuff about someone thats disturbing. poor guy..

so right now, im waiting for abah to come home with my ipod and well, should probally get around calling macdonalds for my lunch. ibu hate cooking on weekends for no apparent reason. how inconsiderate. =P

whats your problem?

2006-02-22T16:48:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

!smash'd is finally over and theres nothing else for me to look forward to this weekend, other than me getting my ipod.. and whats with the month of february and tests? seriously, there hasn't been a week in february that is free of tests.. i detest tests.. they're such a hassle to study for.. esp if ms woon is your biology teacher.. wont let you off for anything.. poor hidayah.. has to sit for the test i'll be having tml in a week's time.. the poor dear has chicken pox.. well, better now than later when olevels start.. which btw, angel has kindly pointed out, is in 23 weeks time.. thanks darls.. you've been so helpful..

so, while others have mid-life crisises, the world's at the brink of WWIII, mother nature has been having pms as well as the govt. worrying about the ageing population, im going to sit here and blog about my random thoughts.. i've finally bought long socks, i noe my luck's going to run out sooner or later, so might as well give in.. besides, they're just socks.. *thinks again* although long socks do clash horribly with low cut converses.. but it okay, it really is.. REALLY.. im currently obsess with backstreet boys, much to the delight of adinda and the scorn of uday.. hahax.. hilarious i tell you.. because now, 4R's obsessed with britney spears' songs..man, we're all such has-beens sometimes. hey, at least i can look back at all the rubbish secondary school life offers and laugh about it one day..

well, not a way to start off the week eh? me failing phy and amaths tests.. well.. these are the two of my weakest subjects.. i can't help it.. i really have no interest whatsoever in these two subjects.. my brain matter is only capable of storing facts and unnecessary rubbish.. somehow impulses carrying formulas and weird looking greek symbols and numbering got lost on the way to be intrepreted by my brain.. but im a brilliant multitasker.. i've just reiterated my biology facts.. not bad..

somebody texted me saying that he heard bad reviews about !smash'd and carelessly assumed that the whole concert was absolutely horrible.. well, i beg to differ considering that he didnt even go at all.. it wasnt perfect, yes, but it wasnt all that bad.. i think people expected too much from the psls.. this was their first attempt to expose the concert to a bigger audience and all they got was critisisms.. now, i dont think thats fair.. bear in mind that psls are students, the oldest being only 16.. organizing a whole concert is a lot of work and they're not doing all this just for the fun of it.. they are helping the straits times pocket money fund.. i did have fun.. concert was hilarious anyway.. laughed till my stomach ached..

thats all i've got to say for now.. i do hav a bio test to study for anyways.. have to finish studying before american idol tonight.. gawd im such a sucker for talent shows.. not even the failed attempt of singapore idol auditions can get me to quit my obsession with singing.. well, laterz..

!smash'd

2006-02-20T17:54:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

so,the blog entry that i've been meaning to write, but never got around to do it. well, without further ado, i bring to you, my thoughts and opinions about !smash'd 2006.

disclaimer: if the content below dissatisfies you in any way, please refrain yourself from scolding profanities at me and read properly. however, if it did blatantly offend anyone, it was purely intentional. bitch!

so the day started off with me thinking i've got so much time to get things done but i was sorely mistaken. so, naturally, i was late. i didnt paint my nails or do my hair and my make up right. but thank god, i didnt look too severely damaged. somehow its liberating to know that i still look okay and do not need to rely on others. so, moving on. hannah came and went and i still have not gotten ready yet. and so i was naturally late. was supposed to meet shuib at 6, arrived at 6.15. but, thank god, managed to make it to the concert in one peice. tried fixing my hair by tying it haphazardly on top of my head. hehe.. thanx to shuib for being so understanding. no i mean, really understanding. from my totally weird bird nest hairstyle, to andy's wig, to sucky concert performances.

yup, you guessed it right. although overall, the concert was okay, its not at all that perfect. however, a lot of effort and planning was put into it by the PSLs so i shan't comment much on the set-up or itenerary or security. however, the performances. am glad to say that half the bands that were performing that night was very good, no doubt about it, but i feel that theres too little singing acts. hell, there were only 2, when there was 4 for bands and 3 for dance categories. now where's the justice in that. theres so many singing talents out there awaiting their debut!! give them a chance for goodness sakes. i'd like to add that however so, I LOVE MIXED REACTIONS & THIKA and THIARA.. no seriously.. both groups may be singing different genres of music but they excel in them. beautiful =)

well, on to dance. my straight answer, hands down that 'infrared' should have won. not because that i'm favouring them because Dyindh's one of my closest classmates, but because 'infamous' was unoriginal, with moves-that-even-i-the-great-klutz-can-pull-off. im not angry, im fuming! its injustice! gawd, and who've heard of people dragging their mothers down so that they could vote as many times as possible? well i have and their name is 'infamous'. ouh, and get the pronounciation right before deciding that as your group name yea? bunch of no-brain bimbos with absolutely no fashion sense.

moving on. dead and over with, tms's only band didnt win, but im kinda glad they didnt. vocalist's voice, not exactly music to the ears. besides, he screams out of tune. so Velvet Rose got the plague. the group with the cute guitarist. hahax. thats all that i could remember of them. ouh yes, and they're from gvss, ash's school! so long never meet him. note to self: must plan a reunion after olevels..

so thats all for the competition rounds. the guest performers. man, theres so much i've got to say about them and the few words below is not comparable to what i really really want to say. ELEVAN, your group sucks to the core.. ouh hold on, rewind. you're group is okay, its just YOU, you mofo, immoral, FREAK! your attitude stinks and if you're dissatisfied with the authorities, take you're fight somewhere else because your presence is not needed, better yet migrate out of singapore, i can assure your absensce would be unnoticed. yes, i agree that local music should be legalise or at least not banned, but fighting/resisting emotionally is not the way. ever heard of negotiating or is your ego too big for a simple task like that? forget it man, you're not worth getting angry over.

who really deserve my wrath would be 'velvet groove'. ouh, you guys just do not know when being 'too far' is do you? im ashamed, disappointed and utterly disgusted. the choreography was gross. it really shows how skanky and slutty people could be. we're not westerners, so dont act like you are.

FREAKKY-Z is so funny but what many do not know, is that the two songs that he sang that night was non-fiction. story of his life, portrayed in a comical, light-hearted way comedians usually do. whats more, he's isya's friend's cousin. what a small world huh?

ryan usually brought the house down with his beatboxing, so needless to say, he was and always be a crowd favourite no matter what.. aimran, however, gave a unsatisfying performance. well, to me anyway. i felt i prefer him singing 3 years ago when he did his rendition of 'i believe i can fly' for afterworld. well, he was pretty much a nicer person to be with then, rather than now.

now, enough about the performances and on to dress code!! mine was horrible, so shall skip that. hannah was soooo shweet, isya was exoticlah, no seriously, it was nice.. lurve her skirt and.. saf's top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its so bloody nice!!! and guess what? hannah, saf n me bought our tops from Forever 21. hahax.. thats like The boutique for 2006. shaikha was wearing so slack, t-shirt with jeans and pink pumps, angel!!! tai-tai all the way, but thats just her.. lurve her hair though. hahax.. andy was..... wearing a wig. yupz.. a long, badly dyed red wig that costed him $30++. well, lets hope that it was worth it. Hakim was very slack that day. Nuriman with his $45 blazer.. frankly speaking, it doesn't really suit you. to me anyway. or maybe its the dark. sham was on duty, so just a !smash'd t-shirt and lots of eye make-up with a question-mark sprayed n her hair. riiight... wdv sham!!!

well, after the concert, went back with shuib, because i was terrified of going home alone. made an utter fool of myself in the bus and was high by the time i reached home. which was around 12am. but cant compete with isya but shall not say nothing. adriano's in the revival round of campus superstar tonight and a lot of Temasekians are hoping that he'll get in. results show is at 11.30pm, so since i dont want to stay up till that late, i'm just going to vote as many times as i can and pray for him =)

by the way, people, i would want to ask you guys a question!! why are u all saying that ____ is cute?? he's not that.. i mean, not really. ouhk fine, i got bored, so? stop asking about him.. coz i really dont care animore.. this is sarah, very binget alredy, signing off.. btw, maths test sucked.

cant wait for tonight

2006-02-18T12:45:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

less than 5hours to go til !smash'd tonight.. this is the first time in years i'll be going as part of the audience and not a performer. feels strange but very exciting at the same time. you could not believe how nice, and heavy the plagues are this year.. hahax.. i dont think you want to know that. well, couldn't say i didnt try my best. good luck to dinda n 'infrared'.. uday and tiara!!! you guys are very good so i'd be shocked if you guys do not win..

so anyway, guess what? i've made it to morning digest!! my partner is dayah and we're talking about phobias.. although this topic has no direct link to the concept of resilience, mr tan still put our names down for morning digest.. said that we had great chemistry together. wow.. what a compliment coming from a teacher who emphasizes on an alevel education instead of olevel. sheesh..

training was horrible yesterday. can literally vomit blood. my blisters were bleedinglah.. my palms are so raw now.. and i hate jerry. my resentment and hate for jerry surpasses my hate for anything else.. not only is he bias, he had the cheek to embarress me in front of everybody else.. thats the one thing that really gets on my nerves.. you have cross the line asshole.. yea, you're coaching us but you are no boss of me.. im only putting up with you coz i want to win this as badly as everyone else on the team..after april competitions, you can fucking go to hell for all i fucking care. and if you think that from that shouting will result in me respecting you, think again.. because over my dead body will i fucking respect you.. coz you dun fucking deserve it, you bloody faggot..

got an idea of how much i hate him now? good.

my realisation of the world

2006-02-16T19:33:00.000+08:00

hello darlings..

JIHAD!!!
...was the topic of discussion for today. yup.. you heard me right.. no more 'problems faced by teenagers these days such as sex and drugs'. instead 'reflect on why the Muslim community today are outdated socially, politically and intellectually.. why are we being look down upon by the Europeans'.. why i wonder. frankly speaking, i dont feel any of the angst that Muslims all around the world have about the pictures of my prophet, the one person on earth that God trully loved. living in Singapore, im cocooned in my own little world of teenage problems, exams anxiety and social life that news happening around the world does not effect me, not even the slightest bit. i feel like i'm sheltered from all the anger, pain and resentment.. sheltered from all the suffering, frustration.. sheltered from reality..

hold on for just one moment. isnt that something bad?! i used to wonder about it but have not really thought it through. why do i let myself live a life of constant denial? why do i not wonder why things are the way they are, the way they were and the way they're going to be? was i afraid? and why the asking of questions now? why? why? why???

on a lighter note: omg, before i get a friggin headache, let me talk about my life for a while yea? i hate thinking too much, esp when i have my contacts on. somehow they interfere with my train of thought, however weird that sounds. but thats just me. so, only two more days to !smash'd and finally i know what to do with my hair. im doing what Kim (antm) did for her 40's pin-up girl photo shoot. i finally know what im going for. the look that i picked out wasn't boho after all.. it was retro/classic. hahax.. silly me. so anyway, major tests almost over. ALMOST. have bml kertas 2 (higher malay paper 2) test tomorrow, three tests on monday and bio on thurs. hahax.. im just surprise that im not freaking out right now. or mayb it hasnt sink in yet.

lethargicness + usual blurness + contacts = brain not functioning properly ..

ridiculous and utter rubbish. naturally me.

so, i have finally (!!) applied for singnet broadband/ wireless so 3 cheers for me for finally catching up with the 'wonders' of technology. sad. so promises, promises, promises. somebody has to finish her story on senoritas, somebody still owe me lots of money and ouh! isya was such a dearie when she helped this nenek (grandmother) carry up her groceries to her house the other day. irrelevant, i know.. but this blog revolves around the concept of irrelevance anyway. might as well live up to its name!!

so, a song adinda had kindly (!!) got me addicted to recently:

Hopelessly Devoted To You
by Olivia Newton John

Guess mine is not the first heart broken,
My eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know,
There's just no gettin' over you

I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see,
There's nothin' else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide,
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you,
Hopelessly devoted to you

My head is saying "fool, forget him",
My heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end,
That's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you

But now there's nowhere to hide,
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm not in my head,
Hopelessly devoted to you..

YEA RIGHT!!!
gawd, im such a mood spoiler. whoops?

valentines day

2006-02-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

hey darlings.. happy V'Dae!!

well, needless to say my day was full of surprises, lots of sweet ones and just one little bitter one. but im not going to let that rain on my parade, and to all of you who do have bitter memories, just learn from them and move on. unlike westerners, we dont drink our woes away and unlike westerners, we dont need to figure out who's the child of the baby one's carrying. moving on.
social studies test tomorrow. what a spoiler.

so, got lots of sweets and chocolates from my fellow classmates. felt bloody guilty for not bringing anything to share with the rest.note to self, must do something about it.well, i cant just sit and do nothing can i? even if i dont celebrate v'dae, i cant just be thick-skinned..and ooh.. the chocolates!! i love zoe, cadence, cherylann, erine and michelle for them and nuriman, i dont love you, not in that sense anyway, but THANKS FOR THE FLOWER.. so sweet of you. had so much fun showing off. hehe.. finally, a first in a few years..sad,sad life im leading. because of the sweets and chocs, now im home nursing a sore throat. if you are in my shoes, can you resist the temptation of chocolates? my point exactly.

total defence day my ass. the bubur (chicken porridge) was delicious though. i doubt the bubur back in those days during the japanese occupation was as nice as that.. and no, there wasnt a fire drill either. ms woon would've gone balistik if there was, since we missed 15 mins of her lesson when mr saravanan held us back after recess because our table wasnt clean enough and people were missing from our class. hilarious as it may sound, sitting under the bleeding hot sun for 15 mins wasnt, i can assure you that.

so, tomorrow going shopping for the remaining stuff for !smash'd. i've got everything except for hairspray. dont give me shit about contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer due to the CFCs in the hairspray because im using it for the first and last time. well, gtgs babies.. got a test to study for after all.. toodles!

im sick

2006-02-12T19:17:00.000+08:00

hey ddaarliingss... ah-ah-tichooo!!

no darlings, my version of what a sneeze sounds like in words is not there for fun's sake. i feel sick, i look sick and i sound sick. i therefore conclude that i am sick. and sleepy.. but how could i sleep if i have so many things going on tomorrow? well, they'll just have to wait till i get better. besides, what good would it be if i don't do stuff right when im sick? so might as well not do them. thats my reasoning/opinion anw.. feel free to argue with me, but a word of caution, i'll win. you know i will.

ps to dydy/ hakimbo: darlings, i've got a desperate housewives car decal saying 'desperate housewives on board' and a CSI scotch tape that says 'Crime Scene Investigation: Do not cross'.. if any of you want these, tell me okay? got these junk free in the 'singapore idol survival kit' along with some other crap promoting unwanted things/ television programmes on channel 5. rubbish, i tell you..

singapore idol auditions

2006-02-11T20:43:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

to just talk about my singapore idol experience in a few words, would not do justice to it. however, i am forced to. singaporeans thrive on routine and im trying to break my habit of writing long entries. starting from now. horrible night, draggy morning, cute guys and lots of make-up. and thank you to the poor guy who has to clean up the mess we singapore idol hopefuls have made. im sure you'll be paid handsomely to carry out the daunting task ahead. heard that the auditions had been extended till tomorrow. a salute to the other hopefuls who are braving another night of pure agony at *scape. idiots. i mean seriously, it'll bore you to death coz the only things that you can do are; sleeping, talking, smoking and of course, singing. and you cant study! believe me, i tried. the psychotic guy next to me kept playing the bleeding metal music. like who the f* can concentrate with that almost bursting your ear drums..

so, this coming week, 4 tests and a concert. how excruciating. i liked last week. because last week there was scene on one particular day that i shall never forget. never. it was a thursday morning. i was wringing my brains out at the assembly area, trying to undestand all the physical concepts of thermal energy. assembly started soon enough, and i, like everyone else im sure, was zoning out and not paying attention to either the anouncements or morning digest. the clouds were moving really fast that day, wind blowing from all directions. hmm.. must be pretty tiring being a cloud. so anyway, somebody suddenly said 'rainbow..' under her breath. i turned to the right and there it was. the seven colours of the rainbow. i just had to point it out, and totally spoiled the moment of nirvana because then everybody started noticing it and acknowledging its existence, loudly. as sudden as the rainbow came, rain came pouring and a lone umbrella was opened. needless to say, it was pointless since the canteen was less than 10m away. yes, the incredulous looks on everybody's faces was enough to make up for the lost of words for such stupidity. so there you have it, my unforgettable experience of being the closest to a rainbow.

dread..

2006-02-07T20:27:00.000+08:00

hey darlings..

talk about attack of the wrath of hidayah.. if you dont know what im talking about, please look at the previous entry.. looks short but it was repeated for 4 times.. this, i found out, is bound to happen when hidayah's around. so people, if you are around her, please refrain yourself from blogging because if she spotted you, you'll be tickled silly and ended up with multiple blog entries and a stitch in your side. cheers to that though. have not laughed properly in days.

so, the dreaded feeling was not what i've been imagining all along. the malay olevels results would be coming out, OFFICIALLY, at 2.30pm on Friday, the 10th of Feb. of all things, after cross-country. ugh. now i have to go home and change/ bring a set of clothes, which i doubt i would as it would be wrinkled once its time for me to wear it. bugger. so, cross country is gonna be 3.5km. im going to run this year, but heheh, am not exactly expecting anything.

i dont know.. been doing things half-heartedly these few days. almost everything actually. i dont know how to describe the feeling. theres so many things going on this week, and im not exactly enthusiastic about it. theres going to be 3 tests on thursday which are, bml, physics and english oral as well as the due date for the 4 page karangan(composition), cross country and malay olevel results on friday, singapore idol auditions on saturday, cik normah's son's wedding on sunday and might be going to watch danceworks. speaking of olevels..

the funniest thing happened last week. i received a letter from the moe congratulating me on completing my o's. now how cute was that, as incredulous as it sounds though. i only took one bleeding paper and i've already got the letter. wow.. if only its as easy as that. yea right.. how i wish. so, last weekend. damn. one word to sum it all up. exhausting. excruciating, painful and im of course, exaggerating! well, it was fun.. in a weird, tiring kinda way. i'd like to thank some people before i begin.

first to bubu, for being so understanding of me coming home late for 2 nights. to sham, for the absolutely fabulous fashion/make up tips. to hannah, for being with me when i picked out my new converse due to the bugger/ slipper stealer, whom had now upgraded himself and stole my nikes!! my bloody purple nikes. i hate you. its stoopid anyway. the shoes are old! what deluded mind of yours was thinking when you stole it? are you that poor? or does my size just conviniently fits you? you're so not worth it okay. but thanks to you, i lurve my new converse. low cut though, but they're cute. makes my legs look thinner. to shuib, the concert sucks but hey, great backup plan. thanks to you, i was so exhausted that i couldn't sleep. yea i noe, tooo bad. that kimono lady was weird. looks fake anw. and finally, to anybody else who wishes to feel appreciate for anything he/she did. thank you to all you lovely people ;)

so anyway, saturday. was suppose to go to training, meet up with tracy and go to rgs concert. instead, i just went to the rgs concert. dots. im that slack during the weekends okay.. the concert, was horrible. im sorry, i know how much effort the organizers have put in it but it was not enough. i did not have a good time. however, once i got out of the school, it was pure madness. but i had fun, in a slenge, spastic n blur kinda way. hahax. kays, dassal i hafta say. the next day, was shopping with sham and guess what im going to wear from !smash'd? nothing special actually. very casual in fact. ouh wells. and i still dont know what to do with my hair. tuition after shopping was great. i was not late, thank god. ate a lot of gummies with dawn, azza and siti. syazwan didnt want any and doris, i mean louis did not come. i miss him. hahax.. he's funny. so anw, got some stuff done that night and the end.. anti-climatic, i noe, but im in a rush.. toodles people.. will blog again soooooon. cheers ;)

GET A LIFE!!

2006-02-06T12:05:00.005+08:00

hey darlings..
im currently in computer lab 3 now, 'trying' to concerntrate on my my facilitator proposal for AL!VE and frankly, im bored out of my wits.. ah shudduplah dayah.. its just a blog entry.. SHUDDUP HAN LIANG.. im a little bit bimbotic at times, everyone could be, so dun./;.,;kmlojhb
0mv 541951156651\

GET A LIFE!!

2006-02-06T12:05:00.004+08:00

GET A LIFE!!

2006-02-06T12:05:00.003+08:00

GET A LIFE!!

2006-02-06T12:05:00.002+08:00

GET A LIFE!!

2006-02-06T12:05:00.001+08:00

GET A LIFE!!

2006-02-06T12:05:00.000+08:00

fridae trainings

2006-02-03T23:11:00.001+08:00

meeow..

that, my darlings, is my replacement of the usual greeting of 'hello'.. do not question its existence because even i, have no idea why its there. its just is. moving on. today was one helluva joyride. NOT. well, first of all theres cca, which, im sure everybody will agree with me, is bleeding tiring and unecessary esp. if you are in canoeing. however, God was on my side again today, somehow, evryday Friday because i had fun today. despite all odds. and it was not only during training, it was the whole day. today was... enlightening. P.E was weird. it was a weird game. my team kept scoring and since there really wasnt any hope of the other team scoring any goals, some of the gurls sat on the volleyball court and began talking about the future. how kang yu was going to be president, danial was supposedly the general of the army and raihan was vice president. it was hilarious because we were bullshiting like nobody's business. class reunion at the istana. hah. in my dreams. fast forward to form teacher contact time. we were suppose to figure out who the poem was suppose to reflect. i thought it was Ambition. but it wasn't. it was Habit.

which i dont really seemed to get, so i shant talk about it any further. so, training. it was good... very good... tiring, yes, but goood.. started off alright. not many attended today because the sec 2s were having their learning journey and sec 4s were having chinese enrichment classes. which shows that yes, sham and me were the only two consistent malay sec4 girls in canoeing. sad. so anyway, during the bus trip there, i slept very buruk-ly. i realise that my mouth was wide open a few times, but you really didnt need to know that!! we were in the last group for the sets at first, which is of course, the slowest group. but we worked our way up till the first group and it felt good. but that also meant that the King would torture us for the 8th km, like he did with rou ning and vanessa during the 6th. i was dreading that moment. it was pure hell at first and i almost cried tears of frustration. he kept screaming for us to lean forward, pull the damn water, straighthen our legs but then all went silent during the last 400m. you've guessed it right. the King Capsized. honey, no matter how good you think you are, God's will is greater. quite frankly, i do not think method is all that important. neither is technique. its determination. its drive. its the ability to achieve a goal if you put your mind to it. ouh btw, we decided to name the signboard at the 750m mark 'Momok' --> irrelevant

how the heck did we come up with the name? well, funny you'd ask. but not to embarress anyone, i'll decide to keep my mouth shut, unless anyone is curious to find out. so anyway, i sang my all time favourite song, in tune, after canoeing for the the whole of the bleeding evening.

I heard you're doing okay,
but i want you to know,
(everybody now)
I'm ADDICT, I'm ADDICTED TO YOU,
i can't pretend i dont care,
when you dont think about me,
do you think i deserve this?...

fast forward to the chorus!!

I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you
But I want it and I need it I'm addicted to you
Now it's over Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
(everybody now)
Heartbreaker!!!

aww.. man.. i love this song. no particular face to match it but i remember when this song came out. it was in 2004. bittersweet memories. suntanning at kallang during the july competitions. pure bliss. i was young, carefree and innocent. yea right. i attracted so much attention esp. from the damai people. finally, i was having fun during training. so sad can!! anyway, i notice there was one josephian who's really2 cute. he was on a K1 today. but sham-poo begged to differ.. fine!! at least i dont hav a fettish for older men! *sticks out tongue*

so after training. slept on the bus, this time, being less obvious. hahax.. was suppose to run 15 rounds, like the rest, but thank god, i had tuition and bubu was fetching! so, i escaped this time. doubt i'd be lucky for the next training. was late for amaths tuition because i woke up at 7.50 and tuition starts at 8pm. i did my homework already, so no worries. as usual, it was really fun. sham-poo!! u've gotta join. then you can skip running after friday training!! my contacts was giving me problems throughout the session and i couldn't concentrate much but no matter, mr vijay made approximation for differentiation easier to understand. just remember:
delta y = dy/dx * delta x.

i'm doing morning digest on the 6th of March with Hidz so fingers crossed that its going to be funny but relevant to the given theme 'resilient spirit'. this is the end of my blog entry. thank you for your kind attention.

fridae trainings

2006-02-03T23:11:00.000+08:00

the last day of the cny holidays

2006-01-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

i've realized a few things today and felt that i should share it with y'all. friends are important. duh. i cant live without my crazy friends. they're there when im down, they'e there when i'm up, when i need somebody to talk to, when i need somebody to shop with, drag to the toilet with, watch a movie with, to bitch with, to send junkmails to, to seek a second opinion on anything, to laugh at when they're in an awkward position like buying sanitary towels for their moms.. cant resist that last bit.. hehe..

well, i love my parents but maybe sometimes one just needs a friend. somebody was talking to me the other day, trying to recall when was the last time he/she went out alone. i cant remember the last time when i went out alone (not including going to the econ minimart a few blocks away). but i can remember the last movie i watched alone. and man, that was a real sad situation. it was a romantic comedy and i had no one to laugh with. i sat through the whole movie, practically soundless. i used to think that being alone can be great sometimes, to have a little 'me' time.

but i dont know, isnt being in one's own room at night, the period where one's head touches the pillow, consider as 'me' time? or is it just me? food for thought eh. i used to be alone all the time during my primary school days. my parents were seldom at home and well, i was always at home. now im barely at home. but it kinda works for me. i still get to meet my friends AND parents everyday. yelah, kirekan i budak baiklah.. balik rumah slalu lepas skola. hahax.. i dun mind being call that either. im weird. the whole world is weird. full of stereotypers and discriminators, but thats another topic reserve for another blog entry.

so anyway. my day was 'fun'. hahax.. i dun mind being at home, unlike somebody i know.. hehe.. watched 'memoirs of a geisha' with sham and shuib. sham, sarah, shuib.. what an odd threesome eh.. the movie was nice.. but it was too fast at some parts and too draggy at others. nonetheless, it was a beautiful movie. i still want to get the book though. no people. no borrowing until im satisfied going through it at least twice. i love sayuri's eyes by the way, even if it was contacts. it was beautiful. like water.. ouh, and we smuggled in sturbucks fraps in a ripple plastic bag.. the genius behind this 'clever' suggestion is... sham-poo.. naturally. so, went to topshop.. sham was interested in clothes while i was interested in moisturizers from dirty girl.. fell in love with the peaches and cream one.. $26 ya noe people.. don't play-play.. topshop is not my heaven.. the sizes r way too big for me.. its like 'this fashion' for sham.. but more expensive.. after that sham wants to go home.. spoiler.. but went to tm for a bit because sham and shuib had to get some stuff.. i went to watsons, den guardian, den watsons and den guardian again.. man.. i probably burn off all the calories i gained from the frap.. wow.. i'm good.. so anyway, went around the whole of tm window shopping with shuib. man, if i'd known better i'd think i was shopping with a gurl.. kalah hannah.. ouh no.. hannah still holds the title of the most 'choosiest' or 'cerewet'.. in the end we left empty handed.. went home.. saw hamzah n the rest of the fityan guys.. hamzah so cutelah hamzah hahax.. den saw sufyan kopeng with isa outside 7 11.. weird fella lah.. never wave, just look down n told isa to look at me.. how awkward is that.. err.. very? yeah.. so thats all folks. will not update fer awhile, but still keep those taggys coming yah? thank u, luv u guys =)

things to remember: change songs in mp3, demand money from shuib, tell him not to be selfish, life's too short to be materialistic, must listen to own advice, get new phone, gain 5kg, do more standard push ups, beat kayla n hazel pair again in next training, find a way to convince ibu to give more money or ask abah, burn cd for hidayah, do amaths tuition hmwk, decide on what to wear for !smash'd, smile more, then again must not scare people with big eyes, must try the one look thing geisha's adopt.. yea rite.. find new set of housekeys..

blah!blah!blah!

2006-01-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

i stumble upon this blogthingis webby and took a 'what's your blog colour' test and the answer was purple. overjoyed that it was my favourite colour, i went to blogskins.com to try and find a purple blogskin. it was fated i tell you! this template was featured as the blogskin of the day and guess what? its the colour scheme of my mp3 lah!! now i've fallen in love with it.. sigh..

that was random. hahax.. so anyway, yesterday and today was fun!! very productive too! ouhk.. i'll try to pack in lotsa stuff into a 'brief' blog entry kay. so here goes.

yesterday, school had cny concert but dat was crap. still had a full school dae. den after that still have canoeing training. but i don't really mind since i wanted to go training anw. bought a lot of snacks from the vending machine coz i know i'd be hungry on my way back in the bus. stoopid vending machine. didnt wanna let go off the crackers. thank god there was limin! and chrissy poo who banged d bleeding machine, but was in vain. thanx darls. sorry it didnt work. still lurv ur abs. so anyway. training. training was tiing. we were in the 2nd fastest grp. which was demoralizing at first coz we were always the last ones. and then it was the last 1km set. sham-poo and me beat hazel and joanne, and kayla!!! like how good is that! god was on my side that day. no really. listen!! after training, i rushed home. bubu cant fetch me coz she had to work, poor thing.. cny oso hafta work. nvm, just now i help her siram pokok. rushed home to get dress for tuition. didnt do homework but managed to scribble a little. A MATHS TUITION WAS SO BLEEDING GOOD LAH! alfiyan discovered another rule which he called 'the fish rule' to represent product rule for differentiation! bleeding genius sia. so impress. so tired alredy. that night listen to mp3 til i fell aslp and only woke up in the middle of the night to turn it off.

sleep till 1pm today. terok, i noe. woke up, did the acm facilitator proposal han liang asked for, w/o joash's help.. that whore.. see me online oso buat bodoh, dunwana discuss. ish. den i had to do it all on my own. nvm.. ah there he is! im gona make his ears bleed, or at least strain the ciliary muscles in his eyes. ugh.. tak smpi hati.. he wished me happy new year.. must be drunk. anw, after that i went to the fityan gathering at gufran. duh -_-'. yea..played gamesand basically had fun laughing3 with the girls. sufyan was like freakylah, even fazanah said so. went back with fazzie. we were drunk with happiness lah.. so crazy.. we were comparing who was crazier ah. then when we were parting ways she was like 'goodbye my drunken fren!' and i was like 'cheers'. was so funny. went home and saw afiq with his younger bro. i was behind them and it was so funnylah. they started making stoopid noises. literally STOOPID noises. went home, watched godzilla. looked nice the first time i watched it. now it just looks fake.. i've gotta go.. 12.45 am.. still talking to shuib.. wahliao.. i tink dat guy turning into a chi-mat.. toodles den..

Sarah, as herself once more, is that good?

2006-01-26T18:31:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i was not my cup of tea. and i'd like to apologize to those special people. you noe who you are. except that idiot who claims that he is one. idiot. hahax.. well, i though today was going to be long and draggy and that i'd be bleeding bored out of my fucking brains but surprisingly, i was not. but initially, i was kinda emo in the morning. didnt even sit with the rest. just sitting by my lonesome, listening to my mp3, telling everyone that i was 'studying' as an excuse. sad, but true. so anw, i felt better during maths.. dyindh made me laugh with her usual acts of spasticity.. like morning digest said, laughter is the best medicine. bml was surprising bleak but bio, phew.. bio was intense!! the test was tough man!! homeostasis question was crappylah but the recepters of the eye, not as bad thank god. and i finally know the results for my bio reexamination! drumroll please... i've... scored... an.. A2!

im bloody relief can. all my hard work paid off. all the hours of recording subject after bleeding subject for 3 days in a row finally paid off. man, finally an outright sign that tells me that i can do bio!! if i study hard enough, of course. and im sure as hell gonna do that for my Os. even better, i'll get an A1, just watch me. and so my day went by. very blandlah. until it was the other science teachers smt periods came. gawd, teachers can be so pms-ish sometimes. and miss chia cried lah.. how lembek is that.. and its not even our bleeding fault. she came, she sat, she scream, she walked out and cried. insane. and then there was mr eng. ouh get over yourself you bloody faggot. i only asked you a question and you called me stubborn. sheesh. its a bleeding graph, there so many ways to interpret itlah. you're so not versatile. and my class, is fun. i think that maybe its not as bad as it was. i think im in speaking terms with WK, KK's fun now, comfortable wif him alredy, the gurls are well, are nicer today.. Bb and her uber-uber sweet/sour blackcurrent sweets, SY, stop the -_-' thing can? and dyindh, gong ci fa cai.. slamat manyambut taun baru cina di sana.. jgn lupa ya, kirim salam kpd.. wahax.. im so bad.. anw, ud, make up ur mind!! johor's gg to be very crowded anw, stay here, shopping malls nvr close lah.. mayb got cny sale ah.. wah.. then i can buy my !smash'd outfit. awesome.

so anw, its a bloody long entrylah.. sorry.. n shuib, i want my ticket!!! btw, i havent got yours.. gimme till tml yea.. sorry =P

Victoria Secrets fashion show is so ..HOT

2006-01-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

that show can make a heterosexual become a homosexual. no, seriously. what makes the victoria secret's fashion show, THE fashion show? tyra, giselle and heidi. tyra, for just being tyra. giselle for a touch of glam and heidi, just for her wackinest and funny accent.. the sexy candy theme is so sexy and the wings this year are damn extravagant.. gawd, the whole show is just THE BOMB!!!!!

2006-01-20T22:25:00.000+08:00

self realization is important to anyone. what others think of you is just a reinforcement. during the past week, i realize that i dont know myself. which is so sad. to think that after 16 years of living, i would finally figure it out, but nooooo..

i thought that maybe im typical, average, plain etc. but im actually not. to be frank, i think im schizophrenic. i still talk to myself out loud sometimes. i would make up conversations and be both persons talking without even bothering about accents. did you know that thats a mental condition? its called TTH. freaky huh. but then again a mental patient would not realise that he is mad and is living a life of self-denial, which differs me from a mental patient. yes, one gets to know these things when one of their parents works in a a mental institution.

i miss my mum these days. never get to see her much because i usually come back home late and she's been working the night shift these past few days. she knows practically everythg about me, minus the boys, because when your mother gets a say on who you're dating, it would just be plain wrong. because at the end of the day, you wont get the satisfaction of knowing that you have made the right/ wrong choice.

speaking of boys, i think im having boy troubles, which is so not me. i think i tend to shun guys away even before they could make their move and for that i apologize. if it is one thing i know about myself, its this. im not ready. even though sometimes i tried reasoning it out in my head, i still know that im not. maybe, i never was. my brain's switched on to 'can-we-just-be-friends' mode since the year started and i have no idea when its switching back. maybe i've finally learnt my lesson after what happened the year before. ouh btw, the couple finally broke up. about time, if you ask me. not that i was hoping for it but it was expected all the same. he was too blind to notice that she cheats on him. and he still didnt know what hit him when they eventually broke up. sad.sad.sad. thats one. the other one came out from nowhere n wished me happy birthday. bear in mind, i've nvr talked to him in my whole time in tms and yet now he wishes to contact me, after he already graduated. talked the talk and he backed away. weak,weak,weak. thats another one. the third one. i really do not know what he's intentions are so until i get to the bottom of it all, i shall not comment any further. the forth one. he smiles. that to me is an achievement already because he's really hard to get through. we never ever talked but today he smiled. twice. not bad.

anyway, tonight, this bugger made me wonder about my future. he made me realised that i really have no goals in life or a profession im interested in. well honey, screw all that, i just wanna live my life to the limit and love every second of it. but thank you for trying to 'apologize'.. you can be sweet sometimes..

Elementary my dear watson

2006-01-16T20:42:00.000+08:00

Alright, the title's bull but i could'nt come up with a more appropriate entry title spontaneously these days. End up not making any sense but i'm not here to talk about that. At least not today. So, its the third week of January. My, time sure does fly by fast.. Maybe faster than my type writing skills, which is pretty lousy, so that may not be a very good example. Anyway, am going to have a bloody Emaths Circles test tomorrow and guess what? I totally suck at proving and listening to bread stuff by limp bizkit is so not helping me. Irrelavant. Sorry.

So, last Saturday night, went to Kak Aishah Burger's housewarming with Sharmee. Its so close to my house can.. Which is good for her yah.. Cooking burgers pat masjid and all.. hahax.. sorry, just couldn't help it. Well, she makes mean burgers so i aint complaining. So, first when to TM to buy her a housewarming gift. Felt that it's a must.. Can't go to a housewarming without buah tangan right? right?? Right... So anyway, got her this uber-uber cool hanging wadchamathingi.. Is those things you hang at doorways lah.. I have no idea what its called, so in the meantime its going to be known as 'The Hanger'. So yah, we finally bought the hanger after contemplating between the photo frame, air purifier or elmo softtoy. so after that we when to gufran for maghrib and waited for so long for the fatayaats.. haiyohx gurls.. almost lost our way but alhamdullillah we didnt. if not, the syababs will have a good time finishing all the food up. hehehe..so anyway, we reached.. and WOW!! i love her house.. the kitchen and her cupbourd especially.. so cool man!! we ate3, den talk3 in kak ais's room..

AND THEN.. the syababs of the hour, finally showed up. lets see if i can rmbr dem all.. there was faizal, isa, nassier, hamzah, azraie etc.. yea.. they arrived close to 10pm, so after loads of hilarious group pics, we had to go off.. we did so many crappy thgs that night.. met new faces, at least new faces to me lah.. walked home with marliyana, so i wasnt alone.. phew.. chatted wif mokhsein for a bit and slept..

The next day.. Nothing much lah.. woke up at 11am, went tuition, cher wasn't there so very slack, walked to the interchange with Dawn coz Louise was so busy on the phone so i was unfortunately stuck with her.. went home and did homework and waited for Ibu to come home after fetching Mak Cah and then slept. Today had a typical school day. Boring and draggy. Wished there was a virtual leaning kinda thg.. at least then i can wake up but not bathe and eat whenever i like.. yeah.. in my dreams..

To my senoritas..

2006-01-11T20:29:00.000+08:00

To my absolutely wonderful gurlfrens, i would like to share a story that i've come across ages ago.. Been meaning to post it for quite a while, but i just didn't have the time. Enjoy it gurls ;)

Once upon a time, in a land far away,
A beautiful, independant, self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating
ecological issues, on the shores of an unpolluted pond,
in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped onto the Princess's lap and said:
'Sweet lady, i was once a handsome Prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell on me.
One kiss from you, however,
and i will turn back into the dapper young Prince that i am.
Then, my sweet, we can marry
and set up a house in your castle,
Where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children
and feel forever grateful and happy doing so.'

That night, dining on the repast of lightly sauteed frog's legs,
The Princess chuckled to herself and thought,
'I don't fucking think so'

Swoosh!

2006-01-10T00:12:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i last updated, i apologize. These days are so hectic for me and man, am i having a blast. Call me insane but i do not miss the holidays for one bit. I love school, its as simple as that. The only flaw it has is the examinations. Frankly speaking, they're such a downer. Everyone would be stressed out and no fun to talk to. And one would even find oneself cracking her brains out over formulas that she's not even going to be using in her career, well, unless that person works in as an engineer or architech, but other than that, its completely pointless. But i digress. I love school. A salute to the teachers who came up with the one-hour per subject timetable. Now the subjects seem much shorter, even though as compared to past years time table, differs by only a few minutes. Time is very precious these days.

Swoosh! and the first week of school is gone. Swoosh! and my birthday, hannah's birthday and alia's birthday are over. Swoosh! and there goes Hari Raya Haji. Swoosh! followed by Chinese New Year. Swoosh! Mid Year Examinations. Swoosh! the dreaded O Levels. And then comes the time of recognition. Who succeeded in achieving their goals? Who failed to achieve theirs? Who scored above / below expectations? Who's going to cry? Tears of joy or tears of sadness? Someday we'll know...

In the Meantime, lets review the past week and what's going on in my life. I've got an mp3 player, its a Zen Neeon for my birthday from my dearest mother. A bloody nice purple lace jacket for my dearest daddy. My mom bought a laptop for herself but i'm currently using it. We might be going wireless soon. *fingers crossed*. My birthday is over. So many people wished me, btw, thanx u guys. My dearest friends made a fool out of me. Hahax.. actually they bought a choc cake and announced to the whole canteen, so pretty much everybody saw me. I made up with alia, at least i sure hope so. Hehe.. And finally, i think that my tuition teacher's ex husband is a total male chauvinist pig. Its because of him i'm not going to have tuition anymore.

OVER MY DEAD BODY. I love tuition now so don't you bloody dare take that love away from me. If u do, i promise u, i'd take a ruler or my compass and shove it up your ass and twist it from time to time to remind you of the pain so that the torture will never end. A word of protest and i'll choke you to death by forcing your mouth open with my protracter and shove my french curve down your troat. Im that sadistic. But I wouldn't dare do it, of course. Life's too short to spend half of it in prison. Even if you ended up writing a bestseller diary like Anne Frank or Hitler did, or maybe win the Nobel Prize in Literature. Hey, one can dream..

is my life fulfilling enough?

2005-12-10T12:54:00.000+08:00

before some of you might think that im copying zizie on being philosophical, im assuring you im not. im just wondering though, we're given this holidays to study right? to buck up and catch up in our studies right? but how come im not taking it as seriously as i should have? yea i've done homework, here and there, but i still have so many reexaminations to sit for at the end of the month and CAs and tests at the beginning of year 2006. but even if its a lot, why am i complaining? i shouldn't be right? in fact thats a lot of things i shouldn't be doing but i am. im always procrastinating, watching tv, reading books that i've already read but read it anyway to avoid doing homwork etc. and the sad thing is, i hav no goals in life! im not compairing myself to others but i cant help envying them. they have actually a goal to strive for, a wish to fulfil but what am i doing. praying each day would just be over and not make full use of this time given to me. hell, i hafta get myself out of home so as to not die of boredom. now THAT is sad. i dont want to be a singer, my voice is not that good, i dont want to be a teacher, hell, i cant stand the stress teachers hafta put up with these days. i dont really know what im good at, not really. and i dont think i would be able to get into a decent JC after olevels. ouhk.. now im panicking. im a good talker, i've been complimented on that once or twice, should i be a radio dj? but im not known to do things spontaneously, or have i? lets ask adam how radio academy was like:

Me: Adam, how was radio academy?
Adam: It was good, a very enriching experience.
Me:What did you learn during ur time there?
Adam: I learn about radio - its history, how the show and programme runs
Me: Did you learn to speak, go on Live or something like that?
Adam: nah, we didn't. but we learn to project and speak though.
Me: aww.. thats disappointing. did you think this programme was worth your money? what is the one thing that you learn that was not taught there? and did it affect your life plan of being a radio dj?
Adam: ...

well ladies and gentlemen, the conversation stopped there because adam claimed that "he almost died during his museum interview". although, i have no idea what has that gotta do with anything. yes adam, you were being vague. and i couldn't understand you. i was naturally, unsatisfied, and moved on to find another person to interview. andy, one of my dearest friends, came to my rescue.

Me: andy, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Andy: a fashion designer.
Me: so what aspires you to be a fashion designer?
Andy: i just wanna be one because i love doing it. also, i like 'Heatherette' designs.
Me: do you think your family will support you?
Andy: no.
Me: but are you going to do it anyway?
Andy: yes, im gonna do it.
Me: good for you! so, are you currently working on your portfolio? and do you think there is a succesful market in singapore for inspiring fashion designers?
Andy: i already have one and i made so many designs. no. (there isn't). im going to new york
Me: what is your target audience? as in whom do u want your clothes to be worned by?
Andy: Women, celebs.
Me: but dont you think there are alredy too many designers designing for celebs and not think out of the box? what would be in your clothing line that stands out from other designers?
Andy: my designs are me and can be worn by fat ppl too.
Me: how accomidating. besides heatherette, whom are your inspirations?
Andy: um... noone else. i like jay from proj runway.
Me: hahax.. i like jays design ideas too. so, thank you for allowing me to interview u. this interview will be posted on my blog soon..

I AM ENLIGHTENED! i can be a reporter! a journalist! i am thinking rationally! that way, i'll be able to travel and work at the same time. People!! I can do this! i really think this would work! thank you god!

Use your imagination

2005-12-01T23:49:00.000+08:00

*groans*
i thought the holidays are suppose to be fun, relaxing, with ya noe, some work done here and there and well the end. i thought wrong. im really tired these few days. the ironic thing is i always wake up at around 10am but i still feel tired at the end of the day. ouh right. probably because i sleep at around 1-2am everyday. holidays would just not be the same if i were to sleep earlier than that appointed time. weird.

so anyway, today, me, sham, nuri, andy and hakim fetch adam from the airport. he went on this 10 days exchange program in Brunei with a few others. lemme see if i can remember who went. there was nani, ryan, charmaine (i have no idea how to spell her name, all i noe is that she's michelle's fren), charlene, fredrick, Mr Oh and Miss Lela. well basically he just go there, stay with foster parents who have no kids. so for 10 whole days, he was in ma shoes, being the only child. hahax. i wonder, why is there so much hype about being an only child? its no big deal really. you still have to do choirs, save money, share food etc. and no you don't get spoil, well once in a while yes, but no one to share the joy of getting spoiled with. well hey.. i guess im still happy being me, no matter wad *grins*

so anyway, adam returns with...................... a lot of mugs. ouh yes, enough for a whole collection. *giggles*
i, for one, dun really mind mugs. they're actually really useful, canny lil things. you can hold drinks in them, stuff unwanted sationery in them, hang as decorative pieces in the kitchen etc. anything is possible if you use your imagination. *winx*

on the way to and fro from the airport, hakim and andy cannot shut up about antm. no seriously, if they wont stop talking about it, i swear, i'd get so bored of antm that i'll cease watching it. ouh and guess wad? somebody dreamt sleeping with rupert grint! i know, gross isnt it? i know he's cute and everything but no way. seriously, no friggin way. so i said to that particular person, 'did he say bloody hell when you were with him? ya noe, maybe he got turned off at the sight of.. ' ladies and gentlmen, please use your imagination *smirk*

ouh im so evil. evilish as evil could be. wads the word for it? ah yes.. Nefarious..
*cue for evil laughter to commence in 3, 2, 1*

Muah, muahahahaha, muahahahahaha........

Spirit of Enterprise 2005

2005-11-29T17:30:00.000+08:00

the moment of truth.. spirit of enterprise.. was.. a.. BLAST!
i was skeptical at first, i mean, this is my first time doing something like this and truthfully speaking, i had fun. so much fun. yea, it was freaking tiring, but it was worth it.. it took me two freakin days to recover before i can do anything else, so yea.. you should get the idea on how tiring it is..

if this event thought me one thing about doing a business is that maybe we shouldn't have bought our stuff using our money but get the items on commission.. is that the right term for it? well anyway, yah.. like take first pay later kinda thing.. that way, if there are extra items remaining, we could always give them back instead of selling at such a low price or giving them away free..

but hey, speaking of free items.. i've no complains.. as long as i can get them for free i dont mind.. no really.. i like freebies, like any typical singaporean.. i've got free candles, handphone keychains, handphone pouch, heart shape thing with wings, m&ms in boxes.. all those nonsenselah.. hahahax.. and i'd like to thank those people who gave them to me.. you know who u are lah.. love ya guys!

so anyway, the first day was kinda demoralizing.. so little people patroned our stall.. partly our faults as there's not much to offer anyway.. our products were only henna designs, manicure/pedicure, handphone pouches and bangles.. thats all.. unlike the stall in front of us.. but hey, ironic thing is, not many people went to that shop either. sad. not many people went to andy's and hakim's stall either.. their stall was right next to ours so you can imagine how kecoh it is! nuriman came and went off with the junior dancers.. his presense was irritating because he didnt really bought anything, just sitting on our chairs, reading our magazines.. kinda glad he didnt come the next day..

which was a relief because the next day was hectic! started out meeting the girls at 8.30 at tampines mrt station.. when we got there, i realised that none of us called alia the previous day to tell her the time to meet.. frankly speaking though her presense wouldn't make much of a difference.. let me give you a rough idea why.. i really dont care anymore.. when we had meetings, she doesn't come and when she did, she doesnt to anything.. why, on the first and most important meeting, she decided that 'hey, i think going jamming with naf and mai is more important than a stupid enterprise meeting'.. she does not contribute ideas or point out any flaws in our plans.. which were aplenty.. one would be surprise she actually won the Bizworld competition last year.. sheer luck? or perhaps just taking the credit from her other peers who worked hard to make the business a success.. anyhow, during this two day enterprise event, she did not do any of the jobs/ tasks appointed to her properly.. neither did she know how to draw in customers.. it was sham who did all that.. when giving out flyers i heard from a certain someone that she was afraid to give it out to people! how absurd is that? well, not to be too harsh on her yah, im sure she has her reasons why.. though i doubt it actually qualifies as a reason.. only excuses.. well, im sick of it all.. im disgusted and i feel cheated.. yes, im taking it personally.. because alia gets on my nerves more than once this year.. she gets on my nerves and she gets into my private life and everybody else's.. i told her that at the beginning of the year and does she hear me out? hell no.. because you know why? she repeats her mistake over and over again and even had the decency to be upset when someone else got between her and her boyfriend.. well honey, thats what i call retribution.. get over it yah? the world does not revolve around you..

so enough of my bitching.. im sick of talking about her.. got to go.. by the way.. cant resist adding.. isya'a bro message me from outta the blue.. wonder why..

2005-11-25T19:15:00.000+08:00

i know.. even if its onli a few days, i still want to updats my blog.. unlike sum people.. finish olevels still so lazy to update.. tut tut.. hehehe.. so anyway, todae was tiring. i had it all planned out the day before yesterday.. i was suppose to lock myself up in my room and memorize every surah that was going to be tested for madrasah exam tomorrow but guess what? the plan did not fall through. how sad is that? you have no idea.

so today, apparently i made plans with alia to accompany her to Supercuts to get her hair rebonded. i though 'hey, wadda hell, since im alredy there, might as well trim my hair'. and so i did. naffy came when the hairdresser was almost done cutting my hair. thank god. we went off to have a bite while waiting for lia. when we exited Macdonalds, i was shocked dat it was closer to 12.45pm than i xpected. because u see, at 12.45 i was suppose to be meeting faizal outside the masjid to collect his bio notes. u have no idea how awkward to be the only person there who is of the female gender who was not in proper attire n going to the mosque with another purpose. c'mon gimme a break. if my period did not come today, i might hav seriously consider going in n join the other fellow muslims to unite as one n pray to the Almighty. emphasis on the word 'might'.

after depositing the thick bio file home, i went off once again to meet naffy n alia. and once again, me n naffy went out leaving alia alone. naffy wanted to buy clothes at 'this fashion' u see, so to make time fly more quickly, we picked out the clothes first. sham called then and asked me if i was free that evening. since i know that der wouldn't be any point going home only to doze off throughout the evening, i gave in to temptation. what bliss. me and sham watched harry potter and the goblet of fire. again. everyone i knew had at least watched 2 times, so might as well right? i wanted to see ron's, cedric's, fred's, george's gorgeous faces again. they're hot. and the movie could still make me break into horrible fits of laughter. gosh i love that movie to bits. but i still think prisoner of azkaban is the best out of the four. can't wait for the fifth book to be made into a movie.

tomorrow is the day all the gurls and i have been waiting for for weeks. Spirit of Enterprise. I CANT WAIT! toodles now.

recap of a month ago..

2005-11-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

true to the title, i will now tell the dear readers of my non-existent blog what i have been doing during the past month of november, like it makes a different, but one can hope.

so lets see.. the last time i've stopped blogging was on the 27th Oct. the period of time between this date and the date of hari raya aidilfitri this year was very stressful for me. i had my malay o levels paper 1 and 2 on the 31st and knowing me, i was cramming as much bahasa berbunga as i could into my head. sadly, i didnt think it worked though. if its any consolation, bina ayat was surprising easy. so, the next day is the 1st of Nov. hurray it was deepavali but i dun remember what i did on that day. being a potato couch perhaps? what fun. the day before hari raya, the last day of puasa was 'fun'. takbir raya was late. it was to be played at 7.15pm and we waited 20 whole minutes for it. it was a long and excruciating wait. hari raya would just not be the same. and finally it came. and it went on and on, much to our joy. that night the whole family went to geylang. we left feeling so cheated. me, because the person who drew the henna design on my hand was a horrible designer and because it smudged as i squeezed throught the throng, no sea, of people who were there. abah, because the perfume that cost him $30 was cheap minyak attar. ibu, well ibu's too 'clever' to be cheated. geylang was packed to the brim despite the weather. saw zulyadi and fadzli. there were selling something. forgot what it was. so anyway, the next day was of course hari raya aidilfitri. ouh such fun. went sembahyang hari raya with sham. meet cher, lots of fityaners. went home.... and was locked out. ibu was apparently in the bathroom. so i waited, hungry, for 20 mins ++. was getting frustrated until she opened it. i stormed in n did not talk to her all morning. even abah was pissed at her. went about 7 houses that day. went visiting during the weekend too. yaada yaada yaadaa.

spirit of enterprise.
went shopping for the products we're gonna sell on the 26 & 27 Nov (this weekend) at Junction 8. friggin far if you ask me, but wadde hell, no pain no gain. ouh my poor feet. so anw, we went for our first shopping trip on the 10th i think. we went to tekka mall at serangoon road to get our bangles and henna, then walked to busora street aka arab street to get handphone pouches, then to the concourse to get the stall deco. our poor, poor feet. i didnt remember much of that day but gawd, the ending was horrible. met the 'infamous' abang mail. looking back it was kinda hilarious but it was not so that day. i should not waste time blogging on it. so there.

jalan raya with the kool kentals.
this was FUN. we were the craziest bunch of people u could ever meet, i tell you. there was me, sharmee, nuri, dydy, ad, hanz and lia. ahhhhh. i really really loved that day. it was so totally fun! i dont care if it was tiring. the morning started out with me meeting sham and nuri at the small mac at tamp interchange. we had to wait for dydy who was late, as usual. take cab sommore. unbelievable. and instead of a songkok, he came with a bag. andy, andy. he also brought along hakim's present. its okay if we're actually going to his house, but the thing is, we didnt. ouh by the way, hakim was suppose to come but he told his mum at the very last minute and his mum did not allowed. how lame is that. hakim pon satu. tanye lambat lambat. well, it was his lost. he missed out a lot. then miss nurul hannah came along out of nowhere. we thought she was going to alia's house herself and already reached. we thought wrong. we reached alia's house first. listen!! her mom wrapped all the slices of kuih in cellophane. yupz. each and every piece. talk about hardworking. klau mak aku, jangan harap seh.. my mum's the most fiercest of the lot. seriously. tak bohong, nak bohong uat ape seh. tak caye tanye any of the kool kentals. so anyway, ali's house was breakest first, spaghetti and roti john. yummy. adam really had a good appetite that day. licked that huge plate clean. im serious! so anyway, the next house was nuri's. chocolate fondue and the fantastic 4. great combination. thanx nuri. ouh! i forgot! nuri was playing the swing and we bolted when he was playing. so childish right? u have no idea. next house was hannah's house. tsk tsk tsk. on the bus there, adam and hannah decided to hook up. hannah hannah. dah ade, maseh nak ade spare part. adam was like wanting to feed hannah the marshmallow covered with chocolate at nuri's house okay! my gawd. those two. but hannah was just not satisfied. she hooked up with sham too. then there was a huge 'fight'. sham won. adam just shrugged and checked his email at hannah's house. so anti climatic. disappointing. so anyway, we ate alot of kuih at hannah's house. i mean, a lot. gold coloured biskuits wrappers were like evrywhere. alia was dozing off in the huge rocking chair, with the furry n soft carpet beneath the chair. dont balme her, that chair is really really comfy. hell, i slept in it today during the enterprise meeting. but i digress, moving on. the next house was sham's house. praying that what happened last year would not happen again. but it did. not this time, the wait wasnt as long and there was no shouting. thank god. we prayed at her house and ate oreo cheesecake!! i almost fainted when i tasted it. it was so friggin nice okay. gawd. but wad was disappointing about her house was that we didnt get to meet Charlie. he was hiding at that time and sham couldn't find him. dont blame him. sometimes i feel that way too during hari raya. hahahax. so next up, adam's house! we had kropok lekor! and feasted on the kuihs that adam made. very nice. psst. to the gurls out there who are single, u might wanna check adam out. he's good in the kitchen! wads more, he's the chairman of psl, very clever n has a good sense of humour! what more can a gurl want?
so anyway, we played 'who wants to be a psl' at adam's house. i just watched tv while alia n sharmee played snap with adam's lil brother. hannah was sleeping next to me. andy n nuri were busy doing something with adam in his room. dat sounded obscene doesnt it? well, i duno wadde heck they were doing so yea.one had to assume. hehehe. now comes the fun part. we exited adam's house, hangbaos safe in our bags n pockets n guess what we did? we played at the playground! practically chased all the residents kids away with our craziness. we played at the red spider-webbed thing u'd find at the east coast park playground. well the rest did anyway.. i was filming them playing. hannah was next to me, watching them, shaking her head disapprovingly at them. dun blame her. we were 'too mature' to get involve in this kinda childish nonsense. anw, alia took the whole thing far too seriously and actually went all the way up. (whats the saying again? ouh thats right.) saving the best for last, we left her stranded up there n ran to the parking lot. and i got it all on film. it was HILARIOUS. everyone was having stitches in our sides when we finally caught our breath. next house cikgu zakiah's house, the sec 3 express malay teacher. me n hannah didnt know her but she made us feel very welcome. hell, she even invited us to her wedding next week, or was it next, next week. right. so anyway, she lived very near to my place actually, so naturally the last house they visted was mine. yayy. i searched for my phone to 'warn' my parents before they come. to my surprise there was 5 missed calls for my parents and n sms for cuzzie Hasni. i was so disappointed thinking that mayb they came to my house n had alredy left n i had missed them. but fate was nice to me that day. reached the 13th floor of my block, voices of people reached my ears when i exited the lift. low n behold, everyone was there! Pak Mat's family, Bik Bat's fam, Wak Iman's fam and my friends make-up 26 people altogether. what fun i tell u! there were no seats left in the house the Kool Kentals had to take refuge in my room. that is till my mom found them in there i told them to come out. dydy had to go off as soon as he arrived because his mom was screaming at the phone at him. poor thing. we talked and ate rojak n kacang pol. adam like the kacang pol. told u his appetite was good that day. we gossiped for a while before sham n hannah had to go. den nuri, adam n lia. n im left with the dishes. sad. after they were gone i realised. WE DIDNT TAKE ANY PHOTOS AT MY HOUSE. SO DISAPPOINTING!!!

harry potter and the goblet of fire.
on the 17th of Nov, the kool kentals watched harry potter and the goblet of fire at 8pm at GV Tamp. we we the first ones to go into the cinema n make a lot of noise. biaselah tu kan? hannah couldn't make it sadly. so it was me, sharmee, lia, nuri, dydy n hakim. movie is so sad. gosh. all the gurls cried when cedric died. was so sudden loh. i hate voldemort, even if he does look gorgeous off camera. after the movie, lia had to off immediately because it was closer to 11pm then, so the rest went to Starbucks. btw, TM looks nice at night. dark, as all the stores were close n the only light glows from the closed store fronts. very nice effect. had my regular rhumba frap. regretted it coz i couldn't sleep that night. sad huh? so after that me and andy shared a cab coz i was scared to go home alone. was so funny! we blew kisses to hakim hu were in the cab next to us. hakim was like pretending he didnt know the lunatics hu were making crazy faces at him. then andy had to crouch down low so that abah wouldn't see him when he fetched me from the void deck. he almost did okay! scary.
i've got to go now. need to bathe. went on a long 'shopping spree' with lia juz now to ed up onli buying a friggin black t-shirt for our uniform this sat n sun.

Spirit Of Enterprise!10am to 8pm! Junction 8! Top of the 8! (thats at the last floor) Support The BLACK FAIRIES!!
btw, thats me, sharmee, lia, hannah, saf, isya n angel! So, do you believe in fairies? *winks*

2005-10-27T17:52:00.000+08:00

Thursday, 27th October 2005

today im going to talk about *eh hem.. drum roll please.. drrrrrrr..drrrrrrrrrmmmMMM* something other than myself.. well after this den we talk about me, me and me until you guys get sick of me..

anyway..
i want to talk about friendship. the most essential, most needed, most sought for in a the life of a typical secondary school teenager.. do i have the right to conclude that? well, majority would agree with me but for the rest of you whom are loners, im going to talk about you in just a little bit.. and so, friendship.. im a typical teenager right?

[how come everything i say revolves around me?? fine, i will try using another example.. btw, am i that conceit? be honest.]

so here we go again.. a teeneger, lets say a girl name sarah

[hey wait a minute, isnt that me again?! maisarah! cut it out!]

ouhk.. a girl called S.. she has friends, lots of them but now lets focus on two of them.. two of her very, very close buddies.. they've been through numerous ups and downs of life and still manage to stick together.. they have their fair shair of fights, misunderstandings, boy-trouble, bitching, change of best friends and they can still manage to hang out together, have girls day out at any time and when they do, there was no awkwardness, no defensiveness which usually occur if you're not comfortable being in one's company, no worries, just plain old bitching and talking like they used to do.. S is not very good at comforting people so she tries to make them laugh instead.. most of the times she succeeded, fortunately.. but today, she realizes something..

she has been in her own little world lately and failed to notice the growing tension between her best friends until one faithful day, today, one of them poured her heart to her.. she somehow knew that a conflict such as this would happen but she did not knew to what extent.. some people might say that the truth is rotten.. in actual fact the truth is somewhat like medicine.. it upsets people at first but cures them in the longrun because truth is not like revenge.. when the truth gets out, people should not ponder on how it had happen but think about what to do next.. they find solutions to their problems and then they all live happily ever after.. revenge is something that is kept bottled up in one's soul.. the angry will build up as time passes by and if the person does not eventually blows up, he or she goes to a psychiatrist and end up paying lots of money on something that at the end of 2 hours only offers you a cup of tea and excruciatingly irritating 'i understands' or 'tell me how you feels'.. evidently the truth is the best.. but i digress.. moving on..

so now the truth is out.. the other best friend, lets call her XYZ, had hurt this best friend's feeling by being ignorant.. and before i sound like Q&A Life in this month's CLEO magazine, i better get to my point.. you might me asking 'so she hurt her feelings.. big deal.. just apologize and stop talking about it already'.. this ignorance has been going on for months.. my solution to this problem is an intervention.. it is long overdue and if this continues, she would not realise that what she is doing hurts the people around her.. and i beg to differ with the statement that ignorance is bliss.. ignorance can destroy relationships.. relationships these people are going to regret not mending looking back after a decade or two.. i plead to these two people to talk it out.. i want them to realize the hurt the other has caused.. i want them to make up and be best friends again.. not adversaries.. but will my wish be fulfill? we shall see..

2005-10-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

i look at her and i see passion, i look at him and i see potential, i look at them and i see hope but when i look at myself in the mirror, all i see is a joke.

im overjoyed for everyone but myself. and the way things seem to be, nothing's ever going to change. i need to get everything out but something is holding me back. doubts, nerves, i do not dare to feel anymore. i should have been mentally prepared, not to get my hopes to high like countless times before. when i see myself, i dont want to see a small, timid girl, scared to face the world anymore. i want to see a girl, whose personality's so vivacious, who everyone can connect with but i dont seem to possess either.

melancholy.

Irrelevance

2005-10-18T19:25:00.000+08:00

im not in the mood right now due to the stupid post exam activities, but hey wadde heck, i had fun getting wet, dirty and smelly..and then dry, clean and nice smelling. ouh the wonders of soap, shampoo and deodarant. but man, talk about the extent of the characteristics of us homosapiens. bitching, competition and swearing. i admit, jonathan was a little bit aggresive, taking the games far too seriously. just do your best, have fun and bloody stop complaining. and ouh the abuse my ears have to endure because the 3U gurls cant stop screaming.

the art of screaming: don't scream just for the sake of screaming. scream like the only way u'd feel better depends on that one scream, that one moment of you venting your frustration, fear, sadness etc.

people should let themselves go, have fun once in a while, live day by day to the fullest because you might never know, you might die tomorrow, or next week, month etc, and you'd regret not taking the risk of doing something different. there is also the possibility of you liking it. and hey even if you don't, be proud of yourself because to did it. i totally let myself go today although note to self: rub whole body on the mud or else people (like mai) will tease you. hahax. three cheers for sweet revenge. 3v won the match against 3u, 4 - 3 plus, i can always torture her by threatening to rub my dirty t-shirt against her white,clean and pristine tshirt. -smirk

the difference between boys and girls are that we girls can talk about anything and everything under the roof. boys just keep it to themselves. safe to conclude that there are more men suffering from depression than women? maybe. hey, don't get me wrong, im not being sexist or anything. but its partially true, in my point of view anyway. well except mayb for andy. he just talks and talks. thats a bad thing too sometimes because all he talks about is antm. irritating after a while yah, so cut it out.

my red light came. such a relief. ouh dear, i just remembered. i have too many overdue library books. must settle it all tomorrow. sarah, that is so irrelevant. and im starting to talk to myself. sad.

anyway, the auditions for the musical next year is on this thursday and friday. not a good thing because during these two days, we would be checking our examination scripts. speaking of scripts, the plot for the musical does not sound interesting at all. its sexist and sadistic and heartless. brotherhood. war. love. CLICHE. gee, like i've not heard that kind of story before. pearl harbour reanactment hello?

well, i've got to go. my whole body's aching. buhbyee.

note: nice seeing ya shuib. somehow you look shorter. oops.

2005-10-14T13:35:00.000+08:00

Oven mittens are like the cutest things.
My auntie died with a feeling of inferiority complex. Sad.
The Holy Month makes me feel dazed most of the time.
The two pimples are stuck on my face for eternity.
The Red Light just wouldn't come. How aggravating.
The White Stripes rock. 'Nuff said.
Exams are finally over but im stuck at home making cookies instead of going out. Sad.
The Sims 2 is boring.

Terawih at Gufran is:
[-ve] = 8 rakaat @ Gufran = 20 rakaat @ Taqua
[+ve] = Its much cooler. I thinks the masjid's air-conditioned. And its huge. Nice Lights. Powder provided.

My distant cousins are all so beautiful. Im not.
All black + a hint of Pink = Different.

Techno is rubbish.

2005-10-08T17:37:00.001+08:00

the search for the partially extinct spring onion at 4.30pm..
who in the freakin world does this kinda things. my mum.
who in the freakin world agrees to tag along. me
who in the freakin world is embarrassed to face the nighbours w/o her tudong. my mum.
who in the freakin world is gullible enough to believe her mom. me
who in the freakin world believes that ntuc has everything. my mom.
who in the freakin world is scared to step into a wet market. me
who in the freakin world forces people to make cooking a personal project. my mum.
who in the freakin world would promise to master the art of cooking in 2 months. me
ouh the wonders of family.
anw, im obsess with 3 television series right now.

america's next top model
gilmore girls
korean drama: stained glass

dassal i have to say for now. well and one more thing. im giving up liking anybody now. whats the bloody point of doing so if it aint ever gonna be. misery loves me. im destined to spent my golden years living in an apartment studio, alone, with 3 cats, a television and a pile of money in the bank which im going to donate when i die, together with all my organs. to hell with love.

2005-10-07T11:11:00.000+08:00

Today's horrible.
It's not even half the day yet and i'm alredy complaining.
Well, that's because today's horrible.
Firstly, i woke up late.
That's why today's horrible.
Then Sahur was well, not Sahur.
That's because yesterday's takeout was horrible.
Then there was the Physics paper.
Yup, that sums up the reasons why today's horrible.
So people, tell me.. why is today horrible again?
It's because...well, just because..
Freeak, gotta stop saying horrible. Urgh! Horrible!!

[-_-']

The world is full of surprises.

2005-10-06T15:31:00.000+08:00

Well, that's for sure. *Snorts*
Frankly speaking the previous entry was just me being pms-ish. Seriously? Seriously. I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed yesterday. Hold on, that can't be possible. My bed's built-in so I can only get up on the left side. Hmm..How about wrong end of the bed?
Yeah, I could work with that..

So anyway, yesterday was definitely interesting. Sahur was horrible, because I was forced to eat last week's spaghetti, I mean, how gross is that? Next time, when my mum works the night shift, I am NOT going to rely on my dad to prepare sahur. Well anyway, went to school and did badly for AMaths. Yurps.. Teachers, be prepared to get sick of my bloody face because you're gonna see it for 3 weeks during the December Holidays. Woo-hoots! So anyway, Buka, on the other hand, RAWK!! So much food!! There was mee rebus, fish balls, samosas, roti nan, bee hoon, bubur masjid and best of all, ROJAK!! Ouh, how I miss eating rojak. Yes, my life is that deprived. Haix.

I did not got for Terawih that night because i was studying Biology and Social Studies. I had fun studying. Seriously. Never thought I'd see the day! I was so enthu with my mindmaps that I didn't realize about the time. It was already 12am when I finished doing my mindmaps for Bio. And I've not started on Social Studies yet and my eyes were already droopy. So I decided to call it a day and slept till 4 am. Woke up, studied Socials for a while and then Sahur. By the way, I was supposed to wake up at 3am, but somehow there was this dream. Something about a woman called rubidium (yes the Group-I Alkaline metal) and Manu (Nope, not the X-Temasekian). It was hilarious I tell you! It was a little romantic but more towards the funny side. Then I dreamt that i could drive and I was studying in the car and that our school library's renovated into this huge and national-library like structure. Ahh yes, the power of imagination. Nonetheless, I enjoyed that dream. If i would ever have a chance to go to heaven one day, I would ask God if I could watch My Life Story. Ahhh, if only.

Well, surprisingly, I was never sleepy today. Arrive school to find out that I was about the 8th one to reach and among those who were earlier than me were Farahliyana, Elias. Yea.. Well, Then people started pouring in and I was not alone anymore. *Grumble* Just when I was enjoying the cold morning air too.. Alia just had to have an upset stomach then. Social Studies was okay. Biology, don't wanna talk about it. Went home with Alia and Zizie. Oooo! I know who she's scandaling with! But since its the fasting month, I'm gonna keep my bloody mouth shut. Just for a month. All hell would break loose after the month is up. *Smirk*

Saw the cutest green shorts @ Esprit TM. $29.90. Need to get them! Its not like anybody's gonna see me in them, but I rather fancy the colour green nowadays. Green looks nice with Pink. Must get green top. Ooo.. Esprit again. Saw a long sleeve shirt at $27.10. Maybe I should get that instead. And an umbrella, need one. Yupz, am never gonna get those things am i?

There is something else i fancy nowadays. But since its the Holy Month of Ramadhan where humans are soppuse to resist temptations, i would now resist the temptation to blurt it out. Alia, you know who it is.. So do you Sham..

So anyway, tomorrow's Physics, so wish me luck!! Gonna solat Terawih too tomorrow but must ask Sham to go to Gufran. That ustaz from Taqua was horrible, no Tajwid, no break, no nothing. Horrible. *Shakes head*

I have difficulty waking up this morning.

2005-10-05T14:30:00.000+08:00

Is it me or do you people feel the difficulty today?Well, its just me isn't it?

Today was suppose to be special. Today was suppose to be significant. Today was suppose to be fun. But it somehow wasn't for me.

I feel alone. I feel left out. I feel insignificant.

Is that how one suppose to feel during this Holy month of Ramadhan?

I can't swear, I'm not suppose to.

I can't vent my anger. I can't say what's on my mind. How come?

Yesterday I went for my first terawih prayer at Masjid Taqua. Well, not exactly my first because I've done it before during the Holy month of Ramadhan at, guess where, Masjid Nabawi Al Munawwarah when I went for Umrah in 2003 and well, its much better there than here, surprisingly.

I think I'm going to fail A-maths. Ouh goody. Must get my foundations right during the three week revision. I'm actually anticipating it! That's a change. The old Sarah hates studying. What telah happen to Sarah?

I feel melancholy. I feel dejected. Ya noe, people should appreciate the things that they have and stop pinning for things that they don't.

I need a life.

End.

My obsession

2005-09-30T15:25:00.000+08:00

MaliQ and D Essentials..
How could one not be in love with them? They are very talented people. I can vouch for it. If you happen to come across their album 1st, please do not hesitate to buy it. It's too much of a good thing pass by unnoticed. It's their first album, all the more we should support them yeah? My favourite tracks from this album would be, Sunshine, Terdiam, Harus Bagaimana, Terlena, Blow my mind and lastly, Lil Thing.
As some people would know, after watching the Anugerah Finals yesterday night, Fauzie tried to sing Harus Bagaimana but failed miserably. But he somehow did not mind being third did he? Shows how down to earth he is. He could have done much better last night. Much, much better. The judges were of no help either. Some are bias, some just do not know what to say and some utter bullshit. When i said some, i only meant one.

Rahimah Rahim, you are old and not fit to be a judge to a talent contest such as this and might i suggest you retire and live the remaining years of your life away for the entertaiment business. You need a makeover and an appropriate wardrobe for a woman your age because that mink stole you wore yesterday was atrocious. This is Singapore, not Britain, or anywhere cold. Also, next time, open your eyes wider. Syed Azmir is not That talented. Khairul deserved it way more than Azmir does. It all boils down to Talent, and Personality at the end of the day. Azmir is way too cocky and obnoxious to begin with, without you adding on to it. You can't spot Talent, so please stop trying.

Well, i really should stop here and study. Final Year Examinations are 4 days away. I've started on my revision alredy but somehow this year, i do not think it's soon enough. I hope that the holidays after would be sufficient.
Sometimes I wish i could just fly away, leave my troubles, my imperfections, my life to start anew elsewhere. I always wished to live the simple life. Singapore's standard of living is just to high for me. If i continue to live here, I'd be miserable. But what choice do i have? I should be grateful, shouldn't i? I should be aware that some people around the world kill to live the life im living. Sigh.. Someday. Someday.

My life in a few werds..

2005-09-29T16:34:00.000+08:00

Deprived. Tiring. Sad. But hey, life's not dat purrfect anw..

My Perogative

2005-08-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

I'm loud, im bubbly, i can be high most of the times, im bimbotic, I'm crappy and I'm lame, but so what?

If you don't like that about me, then please, deprive me of your company because i want people who hang with me, actually likes me for who i am.
If you got a problem with me, please, say it to my face because i would be my pleasure to say this to you;

'Nobody's perfect. You either except them for who they are, or you don't. Either way, your company would be no loss to me. So get over yourself and ponder this question, maybe im not the one who has a problem here but you. because someone who thinks the world revolves around them, clearly has issues!'

Well gdnitez i need to sleep or i can't get up for school tomorrow.

Dreams and Gelato.. And i guess some things are better left alone

2005-07-31T20:22:00.000+08:00

Today is a Sunday. And yesterday is a Saturday. Duhh. These 2 days have been the most exhausting days of my entire week. Ironic huh? Well, lemme give you a summary of the week before i carry on with these exceptional 2 days.

Well, i didnt learn much for school, thats for sure. All i noe was that i failed my logarithms test. 8/25. So many careless mistakes. Could've pass but hey, wad could you expect from me? I had my test During the July competitions, the 1st day, of course. Well, i finally understood Functions. I think. And i think Variation is chicken feet. Think only. I did quite okay for my English speech, 8.5/10. Yayness! Need to catch up on a lot for Mother Tongue though.. O'levels this year, HELP!! Ouh btw, did i told you about that 18-year-old private candidate who was sitting the o'levels with us, whom we nicknamed 'Green'? Well, he died. Safirah was devasted. Well, a lot were. He was the cutest among all the private candidates so yea.. Had to go to post-mortem because he didnt have ANY history. Just had a seizure, and died.. I think God loves him too much. Spared him the pain if Hari Kiamat were to arrive any time soon, God Forbid..

So much for the summary. Damn it. I digress too much!! Fast forward to yesterday (all my troubles seemed do far away, now i need.. sorry) and today (can't think of a song for today.. ouh hold on.. Sunday Morning, rain is falling.. ouh dammit.. it didnt rain today did it?). So at 12.05 am yesterday, after 2 hours playing sims2, i logged on to check how many people were online. I was shocked to see almost 15++, and one of them was my gurlfwen Alia. Well, during the week i fought wif her due to PMS, she took offence, we didnt talk for a day, i apologized and we're okay again. So that morning, we talked3, she sent me True by Ryan Cabrera, because that song was among the 61 songs Eka Kristina Lee asked me to compile for her sister's GARDEN wedding next year. Man, what i would kill for a GARDEN WEDDING!! Ouh dats ryt, i'd kill... an ant!! No, too small. How bout a... fly! Nah, too hard! I noe! I'd kill a mosquito.. dat way i'll help NEA! Man, i'm good =P

So, we talked3.. She was writing a letter. Dats all i could say. I stayed till 2am in the morning, i think. She, however, stayed til 5am! *Shakes head disaprovingly*. So, woke up at 11++ because i was suppose to meet Sham to blanja her ice cream @ Swensons before the Fityan gathering. We met up at 2.15, well, we were supposed to. Sham was late. Den later on, Faizal was late because he was suppose to meet us at gurdian at 3.15. Sharp. He came at...3.30...Dotz...

Well, the Fityan gathering was GREAT! I met so many familiar, and unfamiliar faces.. Theres Naz, who looks lyk Hasunah from madrasah, Khatijah, who looks lyk Hannah. Both from Tampines Sec. Abdillah, Faizal's twin, Sufyan, that lame guy who lyks Ska, reminds me of Joash, Shamsiah, Kak Aisyah, Liana, Brother Herfie, who organized the whole thg, Hamzah, Yan, Rasyid, Zikri, Hakim, Shuaiba, Nadhirah, Hasanah.. Man, thats all i could remember now.. Oooo yah!! Raudah!! It was so funny, everytime i said 'Raudah' both Raudah, the TMS one and Marsiling Sec one turned ans said 'Yes?'.. Hehehe.. so cute.. We prayed Asar in the rain, Maghrib under the stars. We played a couple of games, for more info pls go to http://www.sharmee.blogspot.com/. We all left at around 9pm when everybody has finish eating and chatting aka lepak2. Sham, Faizal, Naz and me took 17. Den Faizal and me took 39 back to the interchange.I was suppose to alight at the stop before the interchange, but Faizal distracted me! Man, that guy can get me talkin until i can forget where i was! Its actually comforting to know that finally, theres someone who shares the same passion for questions. Questions on our religion, to be specific. It was so funny! I didnt think that a guy like him would actually be interested.. Hmm.. guess you can't judge a book by its cover huh? Well, that night, a lot of unwanted things happened.. People cry, People burst.. Pretty bad night actually.. Sleep at 12.45-55am..

Fast Forward to today. Woke up at 7am because apparently, theres suppose to be an assembly before madrasah starts. Huh! Lies, All Lies!! I felt so cheated you noe. Tahan my dad tak fetch my mum before sending me tau! Ish! Well, i guess the 'perhimpunan' did me one good thing.. It made me realised that... Syazrul goes to PERDAUS!!!!!!!!!! I was like 'O...M...G!!'.. Then there's that guy from Fityan also... Man, tak sangke seh... So kewl... So anyway, i thought he noticed me ya noe, thank god he didnt.. At first glance right, i recognized him immediately and hide behind Aishah. She's 19, studying Biomedical Whatchamathingi at NYP and i've been with her since Abdul Aleem Siddique.. And thats lyk wad, 5-6 yrs ago? Cool huh? So anyway, i kept thinking about these 2 guys i meet yesterday n today and actually dreamt about them. Well, it was more like a daydream because my eyes were closed but i was subconcious of my surroundings. It lasted fer about 45 minutes. Man, the daydream, which was suppose to be a nap, made me more mentally exhausted than rested. Damn vivid summore, but a little nonsensical and unrealistic. The trrricks the mind can play, so beware, you have been warned. Well, after Physics tuition, i went shopping with Ibu!! Man, it was so fun! Guys, lemme tell u, u r so missing out on lingerie shopping!! Its the best!! We go from Isetan to Metro and baq to Isetan. Passed Blush! though.. too ex.. no money.. But nonetheless, go what i need.. Went for pastel colours this time.. Dats right, no more hot pink, purple and black. Juz white, cream, light pink and light blue =P.. We walked home, caught 30 minutes of the new season of Gilmore Girls on 5 and bathe.. there..Dats it. Aight.. Good nite peeps..

No use crying over spilt milk .:. CIP, lame jokes, losers and Big Houses

2005-07-23T20:39:00.000+08:00

What do all off these things have in common? They're a part of my life! Obviously.
Anyway, in this 2 in 1 blog entry, you will know what I, Maisarah Miskoon,
1) have been doing for the past couple of months
2) have been doing today
3) have to put up with during these past weeks/days

You must be thinking, 'Duh-h, isn't that what a blog is for? To record the shit one has to go thru for a period of time' Well, you're probably right. If you don't think of it that way, at least its along the lines right?

So, first things first. The prank call that i received was NOT from rahmat adil, but a guy name haqkhani from changkat changi secondary. He's a liar, a big fat Liar. But ironically he does not strike me as one. You could call him pious, but a pious person don't make prank calls do they? Well, he can fuck off, cry etc. for all i care. Moving on.

Canoeing. Frankly, at the beginning of the year, when Mr Ng had left the team, i lost the desire to train. Well, call it laziness, but i seriously hated training. The juniors were aliens to me, the seniors barely talk and training was B-O-R-I-N-G. It was always 8-10km mileage, 2km warm-up, then either did endurance, fatigue, alternate paddling, short sprints etc. and that was it. I didn't see the necessasity to train. I could still remember. I had to stand at the basketball court everyday for a week with Sham, Hannah and Dhana because we skipped training so often. I even remembered what Ms Shirin said 'Yes Sarah, roll your eyes to the heavens for me'. I did, of course, when her back was turned. That quote had become me and the gurls all-time-favourite bitch quote. Still is. =P. Then Mr Ng came back after apparently receiving complaints from the other teachers aka Mr Teo, Ms Shirin, Ms Chia that the canoeists were being a nuisance. Not the secondary ones. They were 'the commited ones'. At that time, it was a big standing joke with me and the gurls. Now, maybe not. So Sham, hannah and Me went training, but we quickly lost interest, training still bore us you see, and the cliques! So many of them!! The sec1 boys, the sec2 gurls etc. It was horrible. I used to refer that shit as 'Canoeing Politics. Nasty and usually inevitable'. But after awhile, i thought to myself 'Maybe i should give it another try, what have i gotta lose anyway right?' So i did. And man, i didn't regret it one bit! My first training at MacRitchie was actually not even training. Hahax. I only went for 2km because there was insufficient boats and we were using NJC's and MJC's. I made friends with Venice that day. The 2nd time, i was with Sham. We went on T2 and i made other new friends that day. As time goes by i knew all the sec ones!!

There was Baby Barbara, Atiqah, Vino ( From TPS, my pri sch), Vanessa Lye, Veron, Andra, Shan Ying, Amanda, Venice, Carol, Sir John ( Her majesty is Sham) , Yuan Song, Connie, Yiin Shin, Shakir, Hisham. And i got to know the sec 2s better. Vanessa Goh, Shenna, Rou Ning, Christine, Alessya, Zhi Yin, Chrissy Poo, Ameer (whom i hate for calling Dumbledoor an old geezer), Kalielah, Reza, Yi Qao, Wei Boa, Alain. I now know that Frederick is not as bad and egoistic as before, that Chang Song and Wei Jie are actually pretty lame, that Vanz has a damn good taste in everythg, that Nicole is the person who says the right thing at the right time, that Yng Yng is such a mother hen, that Dhana weights a lot, that Yeow Chun is really good at maths, that Melvin reads self help books, that Jun Ji is very helpful..

Well, lets cut short this whole thing about canoeing with a promise to myself and to all my other teammates before i get all tery-eyed and emotional. 'Yes, i believe that I was, if not partly, responsible to the lost of the 'B' girls title this year. All i had to do was qualify and i can't even do that. So, next year, April, i WILL qualify and i WILL do my best in finals. I WILL NOT give up no matter how intimidating NJC is. Mr Ng is right. They might be apologetic that they are champions for 'B' division gurls this year but they won't be next year. So, its no use crying over spilt milk but we can always pour ourselves another glass full if we put in the effort. So its okay. Learn from our mistakes now, improve ourselves and show to NJC that we are not quitters because verily, WE CAN DO IT. TEMASEK GO!'

After the prize-giving ceremony was over, we all headed to Frederick's house at 1 Bedok Lane. All i could say about his house is that is it HUGE. Maid also chio sia. 2 dogs, Brandy and Dora if im not wrong. Brandy is so cute!!! He's a cocker spaniel while Dora is a Alsatian, its understandable why i don't really like her. She looks too scary. Well, Lunch was delicious, thanks to Auntie Shirley. Fried Pasta, chicken, meatballs, bread coated fish, mini pizzas n egg salad with punch. But i could only eat a serving. I could not go for 2nds or 3rds like SOME pple did, i can't fanthom how SOME pple could with the loss that day. Call it depression but i just could not eat much. No appetite. at 4.30pm, we all gathered in Fred's room. Yes, it was DAT big that it could accomidate 40++ people with space to spare because no one was sitting on the bed or balcony. Everyone was on the floor, sitting comfortably, no squeezing. Mr Ng gave the 411 of everything that has happened, what was expected of us in the year to come etc. Then the leaders spoke, each repeating what the other has said, some sugar coated their words, some elaborate, a couple broke down, some apologized. After the emotional session, we parted ways. Sham and i were suppose to watch a movie together that night but Ibu didnt allow me to go. I wasn't particularly bothered actually. We still went down to TM. Bought earrings and sexbands at Craft. Saw Faqir with a new girlfriend. Chinese. Short. Plain. Nothing like our Loud, Energetic, Lovable Pammy. Got to hell Faqir.

So. Today. Had class CIP at Temasek Primary's MagicLand. Man, I had a BLAST!!! At first i was lost, i didnt go with anyone so i have no idea what to do. Thanks to Bao Bao, i tracked down someone who got me something to do, selling nasi lemak, teh tarek and chicken wings. Hahax! I'm serious!! Business was great since i came at the lunch period and everyone was so busy and needed help. There was Auntie Neng and her maid who showed me the ropes. Met Auntie Dell and Doris who packed the nasi lemak. Uncle Darajit was the 'promoter'. And there was Kak Fa'ezah who was in charge of the Teh Tarek! Kak Fa'ezah's 18, studying in NYP and Temasek Pri was her alma mater. I was fun because pple kept buying, in other words it was very laku lah. Hehe. After that, we (3R n 3V) helped out with the cleaning up, taking down the decorations with the help of this huge, heavy n rusty ladder. Then we all listen to Ryan's beatboxing and then just lepak eating Twiggies at the fitness corner where Aisya, Hidayah, Hakim, Adam, Nani and Ryan really had a good time playing on the monkey bars. Very childish lah you people. We all then went to school, temasek secondary, to lepak somemore. Me, Dans, Ais, Nani, Adam, Hakim, Hakim, Hidz n Syl. That was when the fun started! We were so crazy!!! We ate roti prata while playing such stoopid n lame games. Like the Pen game, the fingers/johnny game, the country game etc. Then Aimran joined us for some. Wah Liao! Damn funny sia. Then at 6pm we all had to go home, because we promised Cuthberg that we would. Waited for bus 10 to arrive, bloody long sia. How long? 5 14s long!
So answer this, How many times did the madmen jump over the wall????!!

2 weeks of 'smooth-sailin'

2005-07-06T21:18:00.000+08:00

Today was bloody tiring. So was last week and the week before. However, i could have not felt any better. Hey, maybe i'm maturing!! Then again, maybe i miss all the stress from school, since June holidays was a bore. Hey, then doesn't that make me delusional? Damn it. Well anyway, lets see what i did during these couple of weeks.

The first day of school was slack all the way for me. I didn't care about my incomplete SS project, which fortunately for me was extended, so yea, i finally finished it. My project wasn't as purrfect as Cadence's and Zoe's but hey, i still consider it a feat since i've done every single thing that was required to, Properly!

I broke up with him that week too. Hey, i have no regrets. I was being unfair to myself if i were to stay in that relationship. He's clever, he's cute, he has a GSOH so i hope that he'll find someone more deserving of his love than i am.

So anyway, last Sunday was Balloon Dae!! Made like about 20++ balloons in addition to packing the balloon in plastic bags in the hall, which for some god forsaken reason was hot as hell because we can't on the fans or aircon because the balloons might burst or blown away. That is so sad. I also did Nuri a favour by taking care of Baby Barbara's class, 1S if i'm not mistaken. After that experience, I can't help but feel disappointed at this years batch of Sec1s. Not only they're immature, they're stubborn, rude and fuckin lil son of a bitches. The only sec1s i can tahan are my canoeing juniors. They're sweet lil babies. And they're discipline and well-behave, just like their seniors =P. So anyway, guilty as charged. I didnt help sell any of the balloons bcoz i had to rush of for Chem tuition. T'was so bloody fun i tell ya! We learned about % yield and purity of substance. Made so many new friends!! There's this guy from VS tho.. Very clever.. Wonder why he still needs tuition =S. So after that, rushed back to Plaza Singapura, fell guilty that i did not help sell anything, went jalan2 wif Hannah, Andy n Hakim, took neoprint and went home.

The next day was Monday, Youth Day. And man.. start of the day with Brunch @ Seoul Garden. Yummy!! Thank you Mr.Ng!! I think he blanja us coz its motivation in a sense that maybe, just maybe there's a hope of defending our B and C Girls titles again this year, for the 4th year running. Man, i'm really praying that that will come true. So, after that Sham was too tired to watch a movie, having to stay in school an additional night to count the money made on Balloon Day so i went to the library, borrow a few books and head home.

Fast forward to today. MT O'Levels Oral Examination. Perbualan 1 was damn easy coz it was about Tuisyen but Perbualan 2 was, no, i don't even want to think about it. I hate that male teacher!! But oooo... one of the private candidates was cute! =P So after that and after Homework time, Me, Hannah, Nuri, Andy, Alia, Naf, Farah, Erni went all the way to the busstop near Siglap CC to take 12. Man, it was so embarrassing. We spotted 12 at the busstop from the traffic light and we all looked at each other and then ran with all our might to catch the bus. It was so funny!! We reached the busstop just in the nick of time. Met Hidayah there. So all of us crammed ourselves at the back of the lower deck. Went home, sleep, got interupted by 3 calls, sleep again and wake up for maghrib. until now. I'm still awake!

Ooo! Btw, i've received this prank call, only now i don't think its a prank call and i think that guy was not whom i thought it would be. So i kinda laugh at his face when he called. Maybe he was sincere but then again, it might just be a bloody prank call and i aint that naive to fall for it. So there.

Somebody has a crush on somebody
N Somebody might be hurt.
Somebody finally has a boyfriend
N somebody is being too curt.
Somebody even forgot she has one
N somebody worries too much.
Somebody plays around with hers
N somebody don't even bother with such.

Nice poem. Copyright ah. Everything here is true. Just fill in the blanks *winx*
Until next time, this is Sarah, reporting live from my Study Room and being lame. Gdnite everyone!

Quickie!

2005-06-28T20:25:00.000+08:00

I'm very3 tired now so I'm gonna make this short and sweet. The last week of June Holidays were somewhat 'not boring'. Unfortunately, i can't say the same for the previous 3 weeks of the holidays. Hehe.. Well, lets see, on Wednesday, my family and i went to Melacca, to Mak Chah's house. Opit was not in because he had a seminar/ course English Teacher thing in KL and would not be back til Friday. With him gone i thought my life would be a bore..Boy,was i wrong. As i was snooping around his computer, copying songs from my cd to his computer after discovering how deprived he was of the latest english songs, i came across a video file. Well, needless to say i was curious. Guess what it was? Only, lets see, Danial (whom i was chatting with) Hannah and Sham knows what i found. Moving on. The next day, my mum and dad, mak chah and i went to Pengkalan Balak/ Masjid Tanah, rent a chalet, and that evening we swam in the sea only 10-15 strides away from our chalet, found so much 'kemis' (don't know the english translation of it) a type of shellfish, head back to shower and pray and ate ikan bakar!! Yummy!!

We went back to Mak Chah's 2nd house the following day, but not before stopping at Bukit Katil, to that 'restaurant' which is a must everytime we go Melacca (food's DE-LICIOUS). We reached Mak Chah's house after Zohor, me and Chah picked up Opit from a school somewhere near the MITC and went home. That night, chatted with my baby, whom i missed so much =D, and chatted with Zul. The next evening at 3pm, we headed back to Sinagpore and back to the problems and bullshit we have to put up everyday. Was suppose to go for the YouthAlive auditions on Sunday but did not because was tired, no...more towards feeling really lazy actually to go. So, that night hurry like crazy to finish up my SS Project while watching Spiderman and chatting with Danial. He keep talking crap sia. Man, i can't believe i put up with him that night. So, the next morning, overslept a little and naturally, was late meeting Alia at the Interchange. Sorry gurl...

First day of school was surprisingly alright. Don't like that New History teacher of mine though. She's deluding herself. Who says that going to Poly would be a bad choice??!!! Screw You!! Came back at 8pm though because after training Sharmee and I went to KFC. Ouh btw, Sham's not my partner anymore. She's taking part in the 'B' girls T1 500m event while i was paired up with Shenna, Slyvia's sister taking part in the 'B' girls T2 500m with Pamela and Vanessa. Our personal best was achieved today with the timing of 3.03 mins. Need to beat or equal to Pamela's 2.57 mins.Damn. Only a couple of weeks more to July Competitions.

Today was tiring. Adam gave us all really nice souveneirs from his trip to Thailand...Thanx ADAM!!! Hehe...Had like about 4 periods of Maths. Learn Logarithm finally. For SS, our deadline for the project was extended till next Tuesday, that means Bao Chuan, you are safe!! I need to perfect my role/ function ASEAN plays. Ouh well, shall do it during the weekend. Today's training sucked. Last 500m was like 3.11 mins. Was so tired already. Chased stoopid Damai who, btw, can't paddle properly, Cresent Girls, don't even bother. Have not try pacing with BGSS or Gan Eng Seng. Will try on Thursday. Tonight shall sleep at 9pm and wake up at 3pm.. Alright, so much for short and simple eh? =D

My Keyboard Rawks!

2005-06-16T11:57:00.000+08:00

Hey, guess what? There is something wrong with my mouse so it can't work properly. Luckily i have my trusty keyboard by my side. The amazing things you can do with this baby.. But i digress. So, the june holidays is coming to an end very soon and thank god for that. It has been a bore. Well, besides training, movies that i watched with my gurls and him, recording and re-recording my voice to fill my time, there's basicly nothing else to do. Yea alright studying. But i easily get bored of that. So i procrastinate a whole lot. Read a couple of uninteresting books borrowed from the library @ Orchard.

Hmm...I've actually done a little bit of my SS project. Actually, i've not finished with the write-up yet.But that's alright since im going to Sharmee's house on Saturday and do it all in the morning. Tomorrow is the Race-off for the T2 B-Girls and well, Sham's having a fever today. We were suppose to go land training together and watch 'Ice Princess' after that but poor baby, she had a fever. Luckily i checked my phone when i got out of the toilet. Ouh well, and she could even suggest meeting @ 9.30 to watch Ice Princess but when the appointed time came, she had to cancel, again, because she wasn't feeling well. Ouh well, i didnt really mind, since i was broke anyway =P

So...I did something on impulse last Sunday. I aked Sharmee to register for me for the Youth Alive auditions 'solo' category happening on the 26th June at the library @ Orchard. Guess what song i choosed???!!! Leaving on a Jetplane by Chantel Kreviazuk. Was i outta my mind??!!!

Well, apparently i was. Man, there's a million other songs i could've sung but i choosed this one. And now i regret choosing it. What do you expect?! It was impulse. You don't think, you just do! And i was so foolish!! And i can't resubmit my application form either because the closing date was 12th June and they have already given me the time my audition was. I ain't telling what time it is because well, i don't want people i know to come anyway. So there. =P

On television. The 2-hr special of LOST was...WOW! Real good. But not logical. Polar bears in the middle of a forest that is nowhere near the Arctic. Don't tell me it got stranded there like in Madagascar?*LOL*

Charmed was uninteresting. Guess I've grown out of it in huh? Desperate Housewives Season 1 is coming to an end with 4 more sensational episodes to go. Can't wait!!! Hehehe.. The O.C's getting boring. I'm sick of the events in series keep repeating itself again and again and again. There's always that he likes her but she don't like him going on OR the she likes him but he don't like her... It's so cliche! One Tree Hill is also getting boring. Again the he like her but can't get over his ex but now that his ex hooked up with the one guy he despises, he wants her back. 3 words. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Everwood. Hmm, guess this one is still worth watching. Judging Amy. This one is okay too. AFV, my current favourite show. Really entertaining. Especially now that they have the 'Naughty' clips segment and music montages. What I like About You. Nah, i'll pass. Hope and Faith. Guess this is aight too. The Simpsons. Ahhh....Thats more like it. Lurve this show!!!! Pretty lame but has NEVER fail to crack me up all the time. Heard they're planning to make a movie soon!! Can't Wait!!

Well, that's it on what's happening in my life. Pretty boring huh? Ouh well...Not Happy, go make your own blog!!

Conspiracy Theory

2005-06-09T13:52:00.001+08:00

Secrets have been unveiled lately and well, frankly speaking, the truth is rotten. Everybody is entitled to his/her own opinion, of course, but that does not make the truth seem less dire than it already is. Well, to tell you the truth, I'm bloody sick of this. Seriously.

Why can't we all stop being awful to each other or settle our problems peacefully, that way everyone can live in peace and harmony right? But that's too much to ask of most people these days. Do you know why?It's because we're all bloody hypocrites.

Call it denial, temptation, obligation, ego, stress, procrastination but whatever it is, it's still wrong isn't it? Isn't it? Then why are we still doing it?!?! See, that's what im frustrated about. Nobody's flawless, yea, I know that but can't we look beyond these flaws and improve ourselves? Granted, we're not perfect, but at least we can sleep at night knowing that we have done something to make the world a better place to live in.

If we all could stop all our bullshit for one moment and look at ourselves and I mean really look at ourselves. Question ourselves but ouh wait, is that still too much to ask for?

This Shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!

2005-06-07T17:22:00.000+08:00

Guess what people?! I've become F-A-T and it's only the 2nd week of the June holidays! I'm dead Serious! I can bloody pinch the huge glob of fat from my stomach!! Since i could not, do not, would not go for training these June holidays, this is my retribrution. To hell with that. So what if i've grown fat right? It's not like anyone cares. Huh!

So lets see what everyone's been up to these June holidays.
Me. I'm being a total slob these June holidays. Going to be fat and plump but not overweight, please! Do not want to into TAF Club when school reopens. God Forbid!
Major. He's gonna spent 4 days in Sarawak. Wonder wadde heck he'll do there. Absorb the culture? Nah. I'd be surprise if he did. It's gonna be a boring holiday for ya huh? Poor Baby. Least ur going somwhere. I, on the other hand, ain't going anywhere. So be grateful!
Andy. Ahhh...the one who is obsess over Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. And the one who can't takes a joke. Fine, have it your way.. i edited this entry just because of you, but you know what? The message still sticks. *Sticks out tongue*
Hakim. Kimmy!! Him, like Andy, is a Sims2 freak but unlike Andy, he's obsess with CSI!! Which is much better than obsessing over 2 bimbos, if ya ask me, but everyone is entitle to his/her own opinion so wadeva right?So Hakim. Mimicry is the best flattery. He created the whole cast of Desperate Housewives in Sims2!! Because Hakim, like me, Likes Desperate Housewives. Eh, wait a minute, so does Andy! Hahahax!!
Sharmee. I lurv u!! Be mine? =P. Hehehehe...Im kiddin! Chill aight? This gurl. Lucky bitch. Tonight, she'll be coming home from Beijing and will be working at Golden Village Tampines for the rest of the June Holidays. No off days. Bummer +P. Hehehe..If anyone wants to make her life a living hell, please go down to GV and I'll leave the rest to your creative imagination =P!!
Alia Fadia. My mommy! She's also returning baq to S'pore from Beijing tonight but unlike Sham, she'll be grounded when she comes home. And i'm partly to blame for that. But im sick of saying sorry and since i can't do anythg to make d situation better, i'm just gonna sit here and be quiet.
Danial. My Step-Daddy! Hmm.. im not sure what his plans are but the last i heard from him is that he was preparing for his spec course, today right? Good luck! Hehehe.. He should make a blog. I made one and it feels good pouring your innermost thoughts into it. Even if it is for public viewing. Lets people know the real you. Thats all im saying =)
Adam. I've not talked to him for a long time but one thing's for sure, he turned 15 4 days ago!! Happy Belated Birthday Adam!! Haven't talked to him in awhile. Distanced himself from the Kool Kentals to be with nani. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Hahax...Hey, don't be a stranger k?
Farahyn. This is one of the gurls i made very close friends with during camp. Roomie!! Hehehe... Met her last week walking with Khairul. Thought she was wearing a push-up... Wakakaka... relax, i know they're natural, so chill aight? =P..She's also cuming baq home from Beijing tonight. Dem entrepreneurship people! Hahax...
Hannah. Hmm...I duno about this gurl. She's very distant with me lately. Guess she partly blames me for her current isolation. Well, once again, im sick of saying sorry. People ask me to do sthg for them, i do it fer them. So dun put the blame on me when u get caught because i was doing u a favour. In fact, you should have been more careful okay?

Well thats all i hafta say. So if ur bored, go to sum1 else's blog or better yet make a blog of your own and leave mine alone. =P

Sunday Mournings.

2005-06-05T10:48:00.000+08:00

My mum kept on dissing me. My dad just keeps quiet. My mum said things that were probably on her mind for a long time and thought that this was the best moment to brought it up when she disses me. My dad just keeps quiet. My mum grew tired of me keeping quiet and resorts to talking to my aunt about me as though i was not there. My dad just keeps quiet. I didn't feel anything that evening. Just numbness. And my dad just keeps quiet. I cried myself to sleep that night, but do they notice the puffy eyes in the morning. No. And my dad keeps quiet. My mum's ignoring me this 'lovely' Sunday morning. Sunday mournings.

Im dead

2005-06-03T21:45:00.000+08:00

The first reaction i got from mommy dearest when i passed my report book to her was one that does not surprise me. At first glance at my downcast face, she came straightout and said, 'I told you so'. Yes, people, that's my mommy to you. The ever lovable, tactless, insensitive and heartless mother that have ever walked this planet. Not only does she infuriates me, she's also a pain in the arse. She even had the time to gloat and lecture, even though she was already out of the house and closing the gate. She totally rejected my report book and said that it would only spoil her mood if she were to see it at work. I had all the urge in the world to slam the door in her face but i resisted the temptation.

Bloody hell, when i got back my results, i laughed out loud. Literally. My marks were that disgraceful and there was nothing amusing about it. Never have i gotten marks that bad in my entire life. Well, lets see what i've got. I failed half of my subjects, get a bloody B4 for english instead of the expected A1, scored a beautiful F9 for emaths and surprisingly i was not the last in class.

To Dan, my class position was 36/43. There, i've said it. You were right. What's the use of having a blog when i don't pour my heart and soul into it. Why doncha make one? You could get one with a password from diary-x ya noe. Check it out. To Andy, my mom sux, ur mom rox. To my baby, see, my marks are far worse than urs but dun u dare milk it in. I'll give u the silent treatment if ya do =D. To Hakim, i hate you for getting good grades. But dun worry, ur still my friend =P. To the gurls in Beijing, if you've come back and come across this particular entry, you'll noe wad to do. Dun ask me about my marks.

Ps: Baby....I'm sorry okay?? Don't feel so bad about it! U did no harm! Serious! I just overreacted a little, ouh k, not a little, a lot alryt? Im sorry =( Forgive me k?

The Surprise..

2005-05-31T22:50:00.000+08:00

The day when everyone was so tired and wary was they day we all came back from camp. It was for me for a while. I felt terrible that Alia was scolded because she overslept at my house when she was to go there and eat laksa that my auntie cooked and go home after that. Instead she slept all the way. From 12pm to 4.20 pm. In the end she only ate a few slices of cake my mom made. Marble and walnut if im not wrong.

So.
After seeing her off and feeling bad...I kinda dozed back off to sleep. Talk about jet lag. Hahax. Well, I woke up at around 6.15- 6.30pm to the sound of my handphone riging. i kinda thought that it was my phone alarm. Hahax!! At 2nd glance, i was proven wrong. It was Shuib calling. I groaned, not another wake up call...He's done that ya noe!! A few times alredy!! I thought that he was just ya noe, bored at that time so i juz talked to him...guess wad? I hung up with a bloody huge smile on my face. Well...he sounded me. Yea........so i kinda said yes.....................................
.............................................................................................................................................

Part 2: Pahang Camp

2005-05-31T21:21:00.000+08:00

I need to get this entry over and done with but hey peeps, its still gonna be long because my time at Kota Gelanggi is when the most Inspirational events of my shortlived life happened and god forbid, if i were to have amnesia, at least i'll have this blog entry to refresh my memory of the time i spent at Kota Gelanggi. Its corny, but hear me out first ouh k?

So.
The 3rd day of camp. I already talked about the morning spent at Jeram Besu and lemme continue from there. So we had breakfast after all that nonsensical Lai Chee Kang thing and were in the multi-purpose hall waiting for the arrival of the 2nd half of the Group 2 people. Before that, we were like taking pictures and all, with the ever so adorable Slow Loris, and Jackie, the blak Gibbon. If i remembered correctly, Jackie grabbed hold of Farahyn's camera strap when we were staring at him in 'wonder'. Kinda cute if ya ask me. Then we took near the beautiful fully-bloomed blue morning glories and man, the garden is a B E A U T I F U L sight in the morning. But im digressing. So the other half of group 2 came. Man, i missed Andy and Hannah so bad!!! I almost went hysterical when i couldn't find Hannah after hugging Andy. But i found her, and to my relief, she was ouh k...omg!! My first impression of Kota Gelanggi was so bad because of Andy. He's arm was like bloody red because of his constant scratching...I think he was bitten by 4 mosquitos on one arm.

So, we said our goodbyes and left for Kota Gelanggi. Alia was so sad because she missed Danial so damn much. But surprisingly, she didnt get to hug him, but Farahyn did!!! I know, because i saw. So anw, she was all moody in the bus and cried. Poor baby. At the first toilet break, instead of going to the toilet we bought loads and loads of junk food!!! The Chipsmore was sold out sia!!
K, anw. We arrived and me, Farah, Alia, Wei Chong and Samuel were the first people to stepped into the cave which is where we would be sleeping for the night. Ouh klah..not the very first, but the first people from the first half of group 2. Man, talk about natural airconditioning. We spent very little time picking our tents and help others to build new ones. It was kinda fun. And Abishek was very helpful. So Hakim, stop bitching about him.

After we settled down, it was time for Caving!!! The caves were spectacular!! It was so fascinating. We saw all types of things. There was a portrait of the Mona Lisa..A carving, actually... It was very nice!!There was the stalatites and stalagmites...duno how to spell them. Then we saw boulders in shapes of people. I like the one of the husband and wif the most. The husband was kissing the forehead of his wife on their wedding day. So romantic!! We saw a messenger on a horse, a lion, a keris. So many things!! Then this guide called Sabri was like 'Nak tengok elephant?'...Everybody was like really excited alredy ya noe. Then guess wad? It was so lame!! We were all anticipating a rock that looks like an elephant and he shone the torchlight on his shirt, which has an elephant on it!! Bloody toot sia!

The caves were a tight squeeze man... We had to go through cracks and all...Had a few bruises here and there but hey no pain no gain right? Hahax...so on the journey back, Farah was flirting with all the guides!!! Man, gurl can't you stop fer once??!! Sheesh. So, we all went back and soon it was near dinner. Sembahyang at the surau with Adinda and Farah. So sweet of Mat to lend me his socks. Btw, its brother Mat, one of the hardcore gays. Not Mahathir =D

Very nice ya noe the socks. Its blue with pink ribbons!! Hehehehe...So gay right? So after that, i was very lazy to wait for Farah to finish praying and helped the other people to cook!! It was so funny!! Me and Alia were like the pros in cooking omelettes and where teaching Ryan and Ke Kang!! So fun...Then there was sardines and loads of vegetable. Ew =P. So not long after, we all sat down and ate dinner. Miss Lee came outta nowhere and join our little group consisting of me, Alia, Hakim, Dewi, and Farahliyana. Miss Chia joined too. Alia, naturally, didn't finish her food. Then after that, while Farah was eating with Aisyah, Alia, Ryan and me wash the dishes!! Alia washed the forks and spoons, I lathered the plates with soap and Ryan rinse while Dominic hold d clean plates. Jun Hui helped Alia later on and ya noe wad, we finish the chore fast man!!! We all washed up and with huge smiles on our faces, return back to the group. Ya noe what happened next? The whole group clapped for us!! Was so rewarding! At least they acknowledge us!! Hahahax =P

Here comes the scary part of the night.
The Solo Drop.
Alia was crying her eyes out when she found out that everyone had to go through the solo drop. Farahyn was shaking uncontrorably because she was cold and scared, obviously. I was too but, i duno, somehow i put up a 'im fuckin bored, can we please get this over and done with' kinda front. Don't ask me why i did it. Maybe its because i felt that there was a need to put up a brave front for all of my friends. I thought that if i do, they wouldn't feel so scared ya noe. I went a little too far when i said this 'man, this is a total waste of time'. The leader of all the guides, Sir Aedi, was totally pissed at me sia when he overheard me said that. He was like, 'A lot of thought was put into this activity and Don't you dare tell me that its a waste of time!!!' Omg!! I almost jumpped outta my skin when he said that sia!! But of course, i did it for a reason, so Sir, if ur reading this, u'll know why i did what i did.

So, we all lined up in a straight line and were given numbers. Mine was 56. Each of us were 10m/ 25 paces apart from each other in the pitch black gravel road. From time to time, guides and teachers will walk by us. I was chilled to the bone even though i had my windbreaker on. Something about the whole place just gives me the creeps. I duno. I don't dare to speak and onli open my eyes if a guide walks by with a flashlight. For a good 20 mins, i was alone. 'Enjoying' the sounds of the night. Every creak, every crunch alerts me. I couldn't see either Farahs beside me. But i was saved!! For a good 15 mins,one of the guides sat next to me and talked about the 2 things ya need to survive in a forest is a lighter n knife, about the bee season, about frogs, about how to get water from what kind of trees. It was so cool. He was interupted by none other than Alia, who was accompanied by Miss Lee. She couldn't take the pressure and vomited. Poor Baby. Well, soon it was over. We collected all the 63 people and went back. A huge smile was plastered on my face when we reached the campsite. We all taked for awhile about the 6 stratas of emotions while enjoying the bonfire. Soon, it was time for bed. The night was so HOT!! I had to change to my spag and shorts man!! But it was a badddd....idea because i was freezing cold in the morning. =P

After Breakfast, we did Abseling and made friends with the hardcore gays!!!Mat and Izzat!! Lurve them to bits!! We talked and sang 'I will survive', 'Mungkin bila nanti' and loads more!! Of course we weren't racist because we talked in english so that wei chong, ryan, abishek and samuel could understand. After the girls and i..........BATHE TO OUR HEARTS CONTENT!!! Farah, Farahliyana, Aisyah, Dewi, Alia and ME!!! All of you ah...Keep borrowing my Herbal Escense!! Damn fun sia!! It was bloody nice.. The river was cold and we were like hairstyling our soapy hair...man!! Wad i would give to do that again!! After that ya noe wad? We all tido!!! At least Farah, Alia and me lah...

After that we waited for the bloody Catholics to arrive, get on the bus and headed for the Tekam plantation for the Reunion Dinner. After that there was a crying and mourning session. Seriously. The Group 1 guides could not make it and they cried because they did not say a proper goodbyee to them. So, we all cry3. The Quakers and Afros were so KAYU sia!! Sorry guys, but u are!! Aren't you guys borned with emotions??!! No, is it?

We had a cheering competition. Celtics did Lai Chee Kang. Survivors lost. Too bad guys. Groups 1 Normans were still crying. Group 3 Anglo-Saxons tak kuase. Yea, after that have prize giving ceremony. Ryan won for his foolishness of letting go off the rope during the flying fox and 3 guides had to swim after him. Ryan still blames Mr Ng for daring him. Hahahax. Then finally!! We went to the train station!! Reached at 1am and the train came at 2.30am. Sir Aedi came to see us off. Gave his email add to Alia, which is aedidea@hotmail.com. And well, we were on our way home. Sorry for being brief but people keep complaining that my entries r too long!!

The one when I went to Pahang..And the Surprise that came after...

2005-05-29T19:33:00.000+08:00

Warning : Brace yourself people because this is gonna be one helluva blog entry! Woo Hoo!!
Too many things to write about!!! I have no idea where the heck i should start!!! Ahhh... Help me!!! Ouh k..Sarah, take a deep breath. Breathe out. Take another deep breath. Breathe out.

To start things off, the day i went shopping, shopping and MORE shopping with Alia for the Sec 3 camp in Pahang, Malaysia.

Hey, at least i bought everything important in the list given! Damn gurl, you even forgot to buy a pair of travel toothbrush and toothpaste, which by the way people, she wrote down as 'tooth thingis' in her shopping list. Man, who was i kidding. Her idea of keeping her mouth clean is by eating chewing gum. Ewness. Hahax! So anyway, we went shopping on Monday and man, did we buy a lot of things. We met Shuib for lunch too..Can you believe what she said to him before handing one of her heavier shopping bags to him? "Here, make yourself useful" So bad right? Poor guy, bad, bad gurl. What if i do that to Dan, wouldn't you feel angry? No ah? Aiyoh. Hahax. So we ate lunch before seperating :'( coz he had to meet his friends to watch Star Wars Episode III and i had to rush home and get sum $$ and my ez-link. Yes people, shopping makes you broke. And to think i was given $50 that morning. Went back to Alia's house and resume packing.

Lost track of time and before you know it, it was 5 pm!! We were SHOCK coz we were planning to see Sham and the other people who were going to Thailand off. Almost chocked on the meal served by Alia's mum, which we gobbled through before flagging a cab down and were juz in time to see Sham off. Man, that huge Smile on her face was rewarding. She was merajok on the phone and hang up on me when i told her that we might not be able to make it. That was partly why i felt guilty and went. Hehe. So anyway, Alia was pms-ish when we headed back to Tampines for... more shopping!! In the bus, we were like so noisy. Then kena kacau by this 2 mats. *Shiver*
Passed by Shuib at the interchange too..So cute =P Anyway, we bought matching t-shirts (nothing to do) and headed back home. The end.

Next up, the first day of camp.....was tiring. Woke up at 5.35am and thought that i was so late that i had to practically wear my contacts in the bumpy car. Just in time too. Hannah hugged me when i spotted her and Alia coming my way when i reached the foyer. Thanks for the hug gurl, i still don't know why you're mad at me that day though, tell me aight? Alia lost her sleeping bag only to find that Dan had it the whole time. So sweet of him. So, we all went up the foyer. Wasted alot of time briefing. Then finally, we boarded the bus taking us to the Second Link checkpoint. Shaikha sat next to me and thank god for that or i would be a loner. And to tell ya the truth, that was my biggest fear when i found out that none of my gurls are in the same camp group as me, the fear of being alone and not making any friends during the camp. But i was wrong.

Anyway, we reached our destination and after getting our passports checked, my group, Group 2.4 or aka Celtics Votadini, as well as Group 2.5 (Catuvella) and the other half of Group 2.3 (i forgot whats their tribal name) were stranded. All the buses with the other groups have left except ours. We waited and waited and finally we were on our way to the Pelangi Hotel, Segamat. Most of us slept for a good half of the trip but awaken when we almost reached. Naf thought that we were in melacca or something. Truth is Segamat, is in JOHOR! It was hilarious i tell you, trying to guess where we were. Hisham, or was is Mahathir, thought that we were in KL! Hahax..Lunch was ouh k, i guess but the most horrifying part was the toilets!! There was only one bloody cubicle!!! We had no choice but to wait patiently -_-'

On the way to the hostel to Jeram Besu, the people at the back consisting of Nafisah, Mahathir, Aiman, Hisham, Izzati, Hidayah, Shaikha and yours trully were so noisy! Kecoh giler seh! Aslinda was quiet all the way. Don't really know why =S Rahman was too until the guys played Tai Ti with him. We were singing all the way. Played 'injit-injit semut'..hahax! Every time the bus goes up a steep hill, we pretended that we were in a roller coaster. Very giler lah we all. Crappy too. Finally we reached the Countryview Recreation P---- (fergot what it stands for) aka the Jeram Besu hostel at around 7.40pm that day. Man, we couldn't believe our luck! There was 4 comfy single beds, with blankets, aircon and heater not to mention a plug so we could charged our handphones in a room that strangely resembles a chalet!! We didn't had time to bathe, so after dinner, we gathered and made our individual group cheers, motto and coat of arms. Votadini's motto is we will survive and the coat of arms was a huge V, T and D---> VeryTheDetermine, so it means thatwe will survive by being determine. That's pratically it lah. The cheer damn crappy so won't tell it but the most funniest group cheer came from Group 2.2 aka Celtics Smertae. It goes like this.

Go, go Smertae go,
Together we will charge forward,
Make it fast,
Make it cool,
Together we will charge forward.

You could tell that Han Liang really isn't good with rhyming, despite him being a genius. Hahax!
So anyway, after all that, at around 10.30pm, we were tired of hearing Sir Sulaiman lecture us repeating again and again the time he wanted us to assemble the following morning. Naf was furious at him by the way. Hahahax! You should have heard her swear. So after all that, we dragged ourselves to our respective chalet rooms. Ouh by the way, before dinner we were like swapping rooms and all, so in the end Naf, Farahyn and Alia were in my room!! Yayness!! But hell, none of them bathe that night except me! Haiyoh.. Got hot water, still dun wanna use. We didnt sleep that night. I can't disclose anythin that was talked about that night because we did a pinky swear on it that nothing leaves the room. Absolutely nothing. We slept with the lights on that morning, because it was not till 2 am that all of us went to bed. The gurls next door were so noisy by the way!! And yeah, all of us, except Farahyn were scared of the dark that night. Btw, FARAH SNORES!!!

The next morning, i didnt bathe!! So i could wake up a little late, in time to pray Subuh lah. Hehe.. We were late for the morning exercise because of some people. Irritating buggers. We did PNF, until today i still forgot what the acronym stands for. Dotz. Hehe. So we did it, which omg, felt so damn good all that streching of muscles..I felt so good all trough breakfast. After that group 2.5, 2.5 and half of 2.4 went White Water Rafting while Group 2.1, 2.2 and the other half of 2.3 did flying fox. White Water Rafting was Bloody F-U-N!! The confidence jump was Refreshing, gawd i miss canoeing..NOT.. the only problem i had was the cold water..Practically chilled to the bone when we were forced to drift along with the current with our raft members. My raft consisted of Izzati, Shaikha, Mahathir, Edwin, Hidayah Jais and me. During the actual rafting, it was boring but ouh klah, coz we were making 'allies' with jonathan's and ke kang's raft but advesaries with Nafisah's and Aiman's. We saw huge boulders which looked like a crocodile and a turtle. Pretty cool. Couldn't say the same for the rapids though. But man, after a little break, we attempt the biggest and shortest rapids. Man, that was very fun! But it was too short!!

After lunch, we swapped activities so, it was our turn to do the flying fox. When you look at a person actually doing it, it was pretty boring coz it was so slow. But when ur actually doing it, it was exhilarating man!! But once again, it was too brief!! After crossing the river with the help of a long piece of rope, me and Farah went back to our rrom and guess what? We bloody sweep and mopped the bloody floor with a broom and a towel which we burrowed from the janitor. Ouh btw, when i was at the platform, looking down was scary. The helper on the top was like asking me before my turn on the flying fox who was the person down below who was helping the other crossers of the river. I shrugged because i seriously didnt know. He suggested that maybe she drifted from her group either 2.1, 2.2, 2.3 which were doing their WWR nearby. Guess who she was!! I laughed so loud when i crossed the river. It was poor Ms Lee, who was in a griffin t-shirt! I told her that and she totally cracked up!! Good ole' miss Lee!

So me and Farah, clean and clean, in our underwear! Hahax.. Then we headed back to the Flying Fox place, just in time for a secong go at it only this time we were doing it the 'superman' way. Don't even ask me about it! It was so Bloody scary!!! But damn fun sia!!! After dinner we played the Who Am I? game and Pass the Message. Ouh k, seriously, these 2 games are lame!

Original Message:
Captain Raymond received orders from Major Kazmon to instruct Sarjan Cameron and his men to be beware of the enemies. It is understood that the enemies will attack from 3 angles, namely elephant, tiger and snake. If you come across any, catch and kill them.

Votadini's Final Message:
Captain Raymond receieved a message from Captain Hampton that there were three pigs, snakes, dogs and elephants that will attack.

MEREPEK GILER!!!After that we went to bed and well...Somebody called... So i was kinda happy.. Tee Hee.. So sweet of him!!! Missed him so much too =P Well, that night we slept with the light off with the exception of Alia. She insisted that she must sleep at the expense of my torchlight!! Well, i don't really care because my torchlight does not work on batteries.. Cool huh? I think its titanium, but not too sure. Man, that was the night i slept like a baby. Woke up when Farah's phone alarm went off because Naf jumped and i was next to her then. Hahax.. Alia and Naf woke up while Farah and i dozed off for a while before i finally dragged myself outta the warm and cozy bed =(

We, naturally, missed Subuh that morning XP .Dotz. We had a morning run that morning. We also learned 2 songs which has hand and brain coordination thing. The first one goes like this:

Lai Chee Kang Semangkuk Dua Kupang, Lai Chee Kang.
LaiChee Kang SemangkukDua Kupang, Lai Chee Kang.
Lai Chee Kang Semangkuk Dua Kupang,
Makan sikit tak kenyang,
Semangkuk Dua Kupang,Lai Chee Kang.

The other one was Mapoleh owa thing. Don't really like that one. Hehe. After PNF, we had the 'Hey, I'm Joe' one. After that we had breakfast and waited for groups 2.6, 2.7, 2.8 and 2.9 to arrive from Kota Gelanggi...ouh k...i guess i'd stop right here and continue tml k guys?
my mom's screaming at me alredy..

Everybody's Changing..

2005-05-22T17:45:00.000+08:00

Artist:Keane
Song:Everybody's Changing
Album:Hopes And Fears

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
And soon you will disappear
Cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same (x2)

Everybody's changing and i don't feel the same. Since when friends backstab each other. Since when do parents think that its a burden to raise their children. Since when people be with other people who they barely know. Since when do people change for the worst instead of the better. Since when it is alright to change one's personality overnight. Since when do i become concern over these matters? Since when i wonder..

Shopping with Parents was...Refreshing.

2005-05-21T22:01:00.000+08:00

Today was very...Refreshing. Lol. I can't help repeating my blog title.. Hehe.. Well, today i overslept because even though it wouldn't be a problem if it's any other Saturday morning but today was special because today i was suppose to go shopping with my dear Daddy. Yes, i know, sad isn't it? I don't really hang out with my dad much so today was well, special. Woke up to him shouting at me to wake up. What an abrupt start to an equally abrupt day. I wished that today would go on and on and on!!

We went to Goldenmile to buy a haversack for the Sec 3 Resilience camp this Tuesday. Man, i can't wait!!! So, we combed the whole top floor for a cheap haversack, but unfortunately, the lowest i found was a cinnamon red/ silver Deuter bag priced at $75. But obviously i didn't look thoroughly enough because Andy found one at $38 but his mom still won't buy him that one because she thinks that he would only use it once at it wouldn't be worth it. Wadeva Auntie. $38 is a very good price. Poor Andy. We really hate the place because it was so expensive so we were thinking of going to Tampines Mall, to Sports Connection to buy that High Sierra bag priced at $55, when my dad saw this shop under the HDB flat next to Goldenmile hawker centre.

We could not believe our luck when we saw this haversack priced at $25 only!!! And it was a purr-fect size! I also bought a pair of sandals at $18 and insect repellent. Grand total of only $48! Then my dad bargained somemore...haiyoh, parents! Hehehe..well, i got what i wanted so after a quick lunch at Haig Road [Nasi Briyani btw], we head back home.

After resting for a while, my mommy and went to Tampines Mall to....buy clothes!!! A pair of trackpants, a spag strap and t-shirt from Giordano, a black Piping Hot t-shirt and 3/4 pants from Isetan and a beautiful skirt from Euraugo before having a 'dinner' of cakes and coffee [a frappuchino for me] from Starbucks before doing our grocery shopping at NTUC. Bought so much fruit. Yummy! Hehehehe...Yesh, im a Fruit-Freak! Then headed back home...Wow... today was so much fun.

So much fun that the thing with Hannah giving me a cold shoulder so could not distract me. I have no idea what's her problem is with me. Man, i bought her that ctupid Preapaid card she wanted and she's still giving me a cold shoulder. What's my damage today??!! Bloody- toot sia.
If she's jealous that i'm spending more time with Alia instead or her, then she's so petty. Alia's my gurlfwen too ya noe. Hahahax...
Andy was like, 'Are you and Alia bez frens now?
And I said, 'Why? Cannot meh??
Man, what's so wrong with being best friends with Alia??? She's nice what..Yea, ignoring the times when she acts cute and all...Sum pple find it irritating but she doesn't really care. Go Alia! Hahahax...

Ouh btw! Yesterday, me and Alia went to watch Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Was so sad sia the story. Reason why Anakin join the dark side, because of his love for Padme. Ahhhh!!! So romantic but so sad. Padme still died at childbirth because she doesn't want to live animore because she thought that Anakin was killed by Obi-Wan. Everyone thought that too but of course, Anakin became Darth Vader. Scary sia.. His body was like burned all over by magma. *Shiver*

Anyone who has not watched yet, should watch. But if you were to read this, i'm very sorry that i've spoiled the story for but don't worry. I only told the gist of the story and not the whole thing, so before you sue me, go watch it first. I missed out a lot ya noe. Like the time when all the bounty hunters betrayed the Je...WHOOPS! Hehehe, go and watch lah! Ouh k..I've got to stop here..Buh byee!!!

Crustaceans and Cream

2005-05-18T12:26:00.002+08:00

You must be thinking, what a weird title for a first time blogger like me. Well, it all happened yesterday, after our mid year exams were over. Ouh, by the way, i crapped through Emaths Paper 1, so ther'e probably no hope of passing that subject, since i crapped through Paper 2 as well. Ouh well. But i'm digressing, so let me continue with my account of yesterday.

The day started out with me waking up at 8.15am, and im suppose to meet Sharmee [thats one of my best friends. The other one's Hannah] at 8.30am. So, you can see that i was terribly late. In the end, i told her to go without me and i would meet her at school. So, it was 8.45am when i went out of the house. I was lazy to walked to the interchange so i just waited for bus 10 to stop at the busstop after the interchange, ya know the busstop in front of the Singtel building. I got on and went up the double decker bus, and was surprise to see Alia, all alone. By the way, Alia's one of my gurlfriends. The previous day, she came by my house and hangout for awhile before heading to school for our Physics and Emaths Paper 2. We were supppose to study but blame it on the nerves, we could not. Anyway, where was i? Ouh right, she was all alone. I was wondering, where was Danial?? Ouh by the way, that was the guy i like a couple of months back. But that's mere infatuation. Claims he likes me back but has been carrying torch for Alia since primary 5. So anyway, i ploppled right next to her and we studied Chemistry for a while until the bus halted at the next stop. Low and behold, Sham and Safirah got on and sat behind Jacob, who was behind me and Alia. And I thought i was late. -_-'.

So, the bus ride was brief and we arrived. Long story cut short, Chemistry was easy but there was insufficient time. Emaths Paper 1, like i said, was rubbish. After those two papers, i had to wait for Sharmee, Andy, Hakim, Nuriman and Adam to finish their final paper which was Malay Paper 3. While waiting, i wandered into the library with Alia's, no Farahyn's Dracula book, which im supposed to returned to TRL soon. Well, i got tired of reading, apparently stories about supernatural beings are not my kind of thing. I checked out the Temasek Polytechnic newsletter promoting their courses probably to attract potential students. I was attracted to the law and management course but hello, i DO NOT want to work as a paralegal. Defending criminals is just so wrong. Next, i flipped through the NUS 'yearbook' or whatever you call it. I was attracted to the Faculty of Law department and i was intrigue. But Sharmee called and i had to tear myself away from the book.

Met the rest in front of the AVT and waited for the people who were going to the overseas CIP trip to Thailand to have their meeting with Mr. Jared Oh. But Adam wanted to talked to Mr Oh for awhile about god knows what, so Sharmee, Andy, Hakim and me went to Tampines Mall first to get a cake for Nuri. I kind off forgotten that his birthday was last Sunday, so the cake was a way of apologising. Well, sorta anyway. So we were trying in vain to hide the cake,Chocolate Truffle by the way, from Nuri's line of vision when we entered Seoul Garden. Ouh my God. It was the most unforgettable first time to Seoul Garden for me. I was complaining at first at the price of the entry/person. But man, it was worth it!! We ate to our hearts, no stomachs, content. That is until Andy scrapped the bloody carbon from the bottom of the tray/pan/ wadeva you call it. It was disgusting Andy!! Well, we had sang Nuri a decent 'Happy Birthday' song and ate the cake. Bloody De-licious. Then we had ice cream and started frying it too... with the fishball n prawns left over! It was hilarious. Then Adam and Andy had a private joke about 'mata-mata' which was bloody gross if i were to tell, but i won't. After all that food and nonsense, we could even go to the playground at the 4th floor open gallery. Man, i almost vomited. Almost. We then went to 'Pretty in Tokyo' for neoprints. Nuri, your bloody face was irritating. But i like 'Sins' and 'Thats hot..Turn-off' the most!! Hahax.. Want to know why? I aint telling because it'll be embarrassing for Andy and Adam. But i'll show you the neoprints, if you are from Temasek Secondary School. If not, then thats too bad. =P

Went home feeling exhausted but did not shower immediately. Was engrossed in June's edition of CLEO magazine. So, i showered, then fooled around for awhile, made this blog and last but not least, had a phone conversation with Shuib. Nuri, Sharmee and Hannah knows him. Wow..this entry is really long..think i bloody stop now or you people will be bloody sick of my chatterings..

Testing

2005-05-17T20:49:00.000+08:00

test..one..two..three..coolness =P